The Draining Lake

He read the message over and again and still could not believe what it said. A shiver ran down his spine and his head spun.

Why couldn’t you just leave me alone?

Ha

It could only have been a coincidence that Ha

Emil was in the room with him, and he showed him the note. Emil snorted. He thoroughly disliked Ha

“He’s nuts,” Emil said. “Take no notice of it.”

“But why does he say that?”

“Tomas,” Emil said. “Forget it. He’s trying to blame his own mistakes on someone else. He should have been out of here long ago.”

Tomas leapt to his feet, grabbed his coat, put it on rushing down the corridor, ran all the way to Ilona’s digs and banged on the door. Her landlady answered and showed him in to Ilona. She was putting on a cap and already had her jacket and shoes on. She was going out. Clearly surprised to see him, she realised that he was very agitated.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, moving towards him.

He closed the door.

“Ha

“What are you saying?”

“He blames me for his expulsion!”

“Who did you talk to?” Ilona asked. “After you met Ha

“Just you and the others. Ilona, what did you mean the other day when you were talking about young people in Leipzig? The ones who agreed with Ha

“You didn’t talk to anyone else? Are you sure?”

“No, only Lothar. What do you know about young people in Leipzig, Ilona?”

“Did you tell Lothar what Ha

“Yes. What do you mean? He knows all about Ha

Ilona stared at him thoughtfully.

“Please tell me what’s going on,” he asked her.

“We don’t know exactly who Lothar is,” Ilona said. “Do you think anyone followed you here?”

“Followed me? What do you mean? Who doesn’t know who Lothar is?”

Ilona stared at him with a more serious expression than he had ever seen before, a look almost of terror. He had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that his conscience was gnawing him about Ha

“You know the system. It’s dangerous to say too much.”

“Too much! I’m not a child, I know about the surveillance.”

“Yes. Of course.”

“I didn’t say anything, except to my friends. That’s not illegal. They’re my friends. What’s going on, Ilona?”

“Are you sure no one followed you?”

“No one followed me,” he said. “What do you mean? Why should anyone follow me? What are you talking about?” Then he thought about it: “I don’t know whether anyone followed me. I wasn’t watching for that. Why should I be followed? Who would be following me?”

“I don’t know,” Ilona said. “Come on, let’s go out the back door.”

“Go where?” he said.

“Come with me,” she said.

Ilona took him by the hand and led him out through the little kitchen where the old woman was in a chair, knitting. She looked up and smiled, and they smiled back and said goodbye. They came out in a dark backyard, climbed over a fence and ended up in a narrow alleyway. He had no idea what was happening. Why was he chasing behind Ilona on a dark evening, looking over his shoulder to check whether anyone was following them?

She took detours, stopping every so often and standing still to listen for footsteps. Then she continued on, with him in pursuit. After a long trek they emerged in a new residential quarter where blocks of flats were being built on an otherwise empty site a fair distance from the city centre. Some of the buildings had no windows or doors but people had moved in to others. They went inside one of the partially occupied blocks and ran down to the basement. Ilona banged on a door. Voices could be heard on the other side: they fell silent suddenly at the knock. The door opened. About ten people were in a small flat, looking out at them in the doorway. They scrutinised him. Ilona walked in, greeted them and introduced him.

“He’s a friend of Ha

A friend of Ha

“Do you know what happened?” she asked. “Do you know why he was expelled?”

He shook his head.

“I have no idea,” he said. He surveyed the group. “Who are you?” he asked. “How do you all know Ha

“Did anyone follow you?” the girl asked Ilona.

“No,” Ilona said. “Tomas doesn’t know what’s going on and I wanted him to hear it from you.”

“We knew they were watching Ha

“What did they want him to do?”

“They call it serving the communist party and the proletariat.”

A man came over to him.

“He was always so careful,” the man said. “He made sure never to say anything that could get him into trouble.”

“Tell him about Lothar,” Ilona said. The tension had eased slightly. Some of the group sat back down. “Lothar is Tomas’s Betreuer.”

“Nobody followed you?” someone else from the group asked, casting an anxious look at Ilona.

“No one,” she said. “I told you. I made sure of that.”

“What about Lothar?” he asked, incredulous about all that he heard and saw. He looked around the little flat, at the people staring at him in fear and curiosity. He realised that he was at a cell meeting, but in reverse. This was not like when the young socialists met back in Iceland. It was not a meeting to campaign for socialism but a clandestine gathering of dissidents. These people met in secret for fear of being punished for anti-socialist behaviour.

They told him about Lothar. He had not been born in Berlin as he claimed. He was from Bo

“Why didn’t you tell me that you knew Ha

“We don’t talk about this,” Ilona said. “Not to anyone. Ha

“To Lothar?” he said.

“You told him about Ha

“I didn’t know…”

“We have to guard what we say all the time. You certainly didn’t help Ha

“I didn’t know about Lothar, Ilona.”