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In that the planet Blito-P3, Earth, has been found to possess elements of criminality inimical to the best interests and culture of Voltar, In that the landing of troops upon it would risk further contamination of the Confederacy, In that it is our Royal command that we never hear of the planet, Blito-P3, Earth, again, The planet is officially declared to be a nonplanet. It is therefore proclaimed that said planet DOES NOT EXIST AND IT WILL NOT EXIST FROM THIS DAY FORWARD FOR VOLTAR, FOREVER! They read it. It was the only way out. They began to nod. A surge of elation went through Heller. He had won! He had won for Izzy and Bang-Bang and Babe and five billion people. He lowered his head so they would not see his grin and hastily transferred it all to the proclamation in neat script. They signed above the Royal signature. Now came his coup de grace. THIS was the reason he had raked in Noble Stuffy and appointed a Censor. Solemnly he looked at the ex-publisher. "Now we come to your vital part in this. Noble Arthrite Stuffy, His Majesty never wants to hear of Earth again. You therefore must eradicate every mention of these recent riots and upsets in every newssheet morgue." Noble Stuffy gawped. "This proclamation is YOURS to put in force! You must eradicate every reference to Blito-P3 in every book ind text, on every map-a clean sweep." "Everywhere?" said round-eyed Stuffy. "Everywhere," said Heller. "And it is your sworn duty to prevent all future mention of that planet anywhere. AND THAT INCLUDES EVEN THIS PROCLAMATION!" "Oh, dear!" said Noble Stuffy. "And when," Heller continued in a hard voice, "anybody asks you what happened to Blito-P3, you are going to flinch and look sad and say it was so unspeakable it had to be censored and forbid them to even breathe its name again. Understood?" Noble Arthrite Stuffy nodded numbly. From the look in Heller's eye he also understood Heller would probably personally break his neck if he did not comply. So he did! And to this day, that Royal proclamation lies in a lead case in the office of the Royal Historian and Censor.
Don't doubt me. / have seen it! The Royal Historian and Censor, my great-uncle Lord Invay, was out to lunch! Now, how's that, dear reader? Does it make me the investigative reporter of all time or doesn't it? The answer is yes, yes, yes! I knew you would agree!
BLITO-P3-EARTH-EXISTS!
AND THE PLACE WHERE IT SHOULD BE IN THE INVASION TIMETABLE IS BLANK!
Isn't that monstrous? And if it hadn't been removed, it would be scheduled for invasion just a few years from now.
THE PEOPLE OF VOLTAR MUST KNOW ABOUT THIS!
THEY'RE BEING DEPRIVED OF A PERFECTLY GOOD PLANET TO INVADE!
Despite what Soltan Gris said at the very begi
PEOPLE OF VOLTAR, INSIST ON ADHERENCE TO TRADITION!
OUR ANCESTORS DETERMINED THAT EARTH SHOULD BE INVADED ON SCHEDULE.
My message to you: SWEEP ASIDE THIS COVER-UP AND INVADE!
I finished the book up to here and before I wrapped it up to send it to the publisher, I read it all to Shafter (Hound wouldn't listen because he saw it had some poetry in it). When I got all done, expecting to see Shafter absolutely stu
Hightee Heller, after two weeks assisting me dig up old papers and logs-but spending most of her time rambling around old haunts on Manco-had to return to the planet Voltar to keep a long-arranged engagement to appear at a benefit on Hightee Heller Day, an a