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Chapter Three
Driving home from my last job of the day, I became acutely aware of how tired I was. I'd had little sleep the night before, I'd had a full working day, and I'd observed a lot of puzzling behavior.
But Claude's personal car, a burgundy Buick, was parked in front of my house. On the whole, I was glad to see it.
His window was rolled down, and I could hear his radio playing "All Things Considered," the public-radio news program. Claude was slumped down in the driver's seat, his eyes closed. I wondered how long he had been waiting, since someone had stuck a blue sheet of paper under his windshield wiper. I could feel a smile somewhere inside me as I pulled into my carport and turned off the ignition. I'd missed him.
I walked quietly down the drive. I bent to his ear.
"Hey, hotshot," I whispered.
He smiled before his eyes flew open.
"Lily," he said, as if he enjoyed saying it. His hand went up to smooth his mustache, now more salt-and-pepper than brown.
"You going to sit out here or you going to come in?"
"In, now that you're here to offer."
As Claude emerged from his Buick, I pulled the blue flyer from under his passenger-side wiper. I figured it was an ad for the new pizza place. I glanced at the heading idly.
"Claude," I said.
He'd been retucking his shirtail. "Yep?"
"Look."
He took the sheet of blue paper from me, studied the dark print for a moment.
"Shit," he said disgustedly. "This is exactly what Shakespeare needs."
"Yes indeed."
TAKE BACK YOUR OWN, the headline read. In smaller print, the text read:
The white male is an endangered species. Due to government interference, white males ca
"No address or phone number," Claude observed.
"Dr. Sizemore got one, too." I remembered the color, though naturally I hadn't extracted the sheet from the dentist's garbage can.
Claude shrugged his heavy shoulders. "No law against it, stupid as it seems."
Northern Arkansas had hosted several white supremacist organizations over the past few decades. I wondered if this was an offshoot of one of them, one that had migrated south.
Everywhere I went, in the grocery, in the doctor's office, the rare occasions I worked at one of the churches, people all complained about not having enough time, having too much to do in the time they had available. It seemed to me after reading "Take Back Your Own" that some people just weren't busy enough.
I crumpled the thing in my hand, turned and went up the stepping stones to my front door, my keys already out and ready to turn in both locks. Claude stretched. It was a large stretch for a large man.
He followed me in. I tensed, thinking he'd try to kiss me again, but he just began a rambling monologue about the trouble he was having scheduling enough cars on the streets during Halloween, when the fun tended to get too rowdy.
I was occupied in emptying my pockets onto the kitchen counter, a soothing little ritual. I don't carry a purse when I'm working—it's just one more thing to tote in and out.
"Thank you for the flowers," I said, my back still to him.
"It was my pleasure."
"The flowers," I began, and then stopped to take another deep breath. "They are very pretty. And I liked the card," I added, after another moment.
"Can I give you a hug?" he asked cautiously.
"Better not," I said, trying to sound matter-of-fact.
On the card, he'd written that he missed my company. Of course, that wasn't true. Claude might enjoy my conversation, but his fundamental goal was getting me in bed. I sighed. So what else was new on the man/woman front?
I was more convinced than ever that intimacy wasn't a good idea for either of us.
I didn't say so, not just then; and that wasn't normal for me. But that evening, I wanted a friend. I wanted the company of a person I liked, to sit with me and drink coffee at my table. Though I knew it would prolong Claude's expectations, I temporarily bought into the illusion that it was only my companionship he wanted.
We did have coffee and a piece of fruit together, and a casual sort of conversation; but maybe because I was being in some sense deceptive, the warmth I'd hoped to feel didn't come.
Claude objected when I changed for karate class, but I never miss it if I can help it. I promised him that when I returned we'd go to di
I strode through the main room at Body Time, trying to look forward to the stress-reducing workout I was about to get. But mostly I felt... not very pleased with myself.
Though I'd been in there many times since Del had died, I always glanced at the corner where Del's body had rested on the bench. A smaller copy of Del's second-place trophy from the Marvel Gym competition the year before was still in its prominent position in the display case by the drinks cooler, since the gym where a wi
I stopped to admire the shiny cup on its wooden stand, read the engraving. In the glass front of the display case, I could see the reflection of other potential champions as they went through their evening routines. I moved my hand up and down slightly to make sure I was there, too.
I shook my head at my reflection and continued down the hall to the open double doors of the aerobics/karate room. I bowed in the doorway to show respect, and entered. Janet Shook was already in her gi, its snowy whiteness setting off her dark hair and eyes. She was holding onto the barre, practicing side kicks. Marshall was talking to Carlton Cockroft, my next-door neighbor and my accountant, whom I hadn't seen in at least a week. There was a new woman limbering up, a woman with very long blond hair and a deep sun-bed tan. She was wearing a gi with a brown belt, and I regarded her with respect.
Raphael, who hadn't set foot in Body Time since the morning he'd left in a huff, was practicing the eight-point blocking system with Bobo Winthrop. I was glad to see Raphael, glad that whatever had eaten at him had eased up. As I watched the two spar, I noticed for the first time that Bobo was as tall as Raphael. I had to stop thinking of him as a boy.
"Yee-hah, Lily," Bobo called cheerfully. I hadn't thought Bobo's naturally su
I had not been handled like that since I'd become an adult, and the sensation of being lifted and held up in the air abruptly returned me to childhood. I found myself laughing, looking down at Bobo, who was gri
Marshall, nodding at Black Ponytail, shut the double doors.
Bobo put me down.
I made a mock strike to his throat and he blocked me too late.
"Would've gotten you," I warned him. "You're stronger, but I'm quicker."
Bobo was gri