The Laughing Corpse

The moonlight suddenly seemed dimmer. Dolph was standing over me. He did sort of loom.

“Well?” he asked.

“A zombie came out of this grave,” I said.

“Is it the killer zombie?”

“I don’t know for sure.”

“You don’t know?”

“Not yet.”

“When will you know?”

“I’ll take it to Evans and let him do his touchie-feelie routine on it.”

“Evans, the clairvoyant,” Dolph said.

“Yep.”

“He’s a flake.”

“True, but he’s good.”

“The department doesn’t use him anymore.”

“Bully for the department,” I said. “He’s still on retainer at Animators, Inc.”

Dolph shook his head. “I don’t trust Evans.”

“I don’t trust anybody,” I said. “So what’s the problem?”

Dolph smiled. “Point taken.”

I had rolled some of the grass and weeds, roots carefully intact, inside a second bag. I crawled to the head of the grave and spread the weeds. There was no marker. Dammit! The pale limestone had been chipped away at the base. Shattered. Carried away. Shit.

“Why would they destroy the headstone?” Dolph asked.

“The name and date could have given us some clue to why the zombie was raised and to what went wrong.”

“Wrong, how?”

“You might raise a zombie to kill one or two people but not wholesale slaughter. Nobody would do that.”

“Unless they’re crazy,” he said.

I stared up at him. “That’s not fu

“No, it isn’t.”

A madman that could raise the dead. A murderous zombie corpse controlled by a psychotic. Great. And if he, or she, could do it once...

“Dolph, if we have a crazy man ru

“And if it is crazy, then there won’t be a pattern,” he said.

“Shit.”

“Exactly.”

No pattern meant no motive. No motive meant we might not be able to figure this out. “No, I don’t believe that.”

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because if I do believe it, it leaves us no place to go.” I took out a pocketknife that I brought for the occasion and started to chip at the remains of the tombstone.

“Defacing a gravemarker is against the law,” Dolph said.

“Isn’t it though.” I scrapped a few smaller pieces into a third bag, and finally got a sizable chunk of marble, big as my thumb.

I stuffed all the bags into the pockets of my coveralls, along with the pocketknife.

“You really think Evans will be able to read anything from those bits and pieces?”

“I don’t know.” I stood and looked down at the grave. The two exterminators were standing just a short distance away. Giving us privacy. How very polite. “You know, Dolph, they may have destroyed the tombstone, but the grave is still here.”

“But the corpse is gone,” he said.

“True, but the coffin might be able to tell us something. Anything might help.”

He nodded. “Alright, I’ll get an exhumation order.”

“Can’t we just dig it up now, tonight?”

“No,” he said. “I have to play by the rules.” He stared at me very hard. “And I don’t want to come back out here and find the grave dug up. The evidence won’t mean shit if you tamper with it.”

“Evidence? You really think this case will go to court?”

“Yes.”

“Dolph, we just need to destroy the zombie.”

“I want the bastards that raised it, Anita. I want them up on murder charges.”

I nodded. I agreed with him, but I thought it unlikely. Dolph was a policeman, he had to worry about the law. I worried about simpler things, like survival.

“I’ll let you know if Evans has anything useful to say,” I said.

“You do that.”

“Wherever the beastie is, Dolph, it isn’t here.”

“It’s out there, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Killing someone else while we sit here and chase our tails.”

I wanted to touch him. To let him know it was all right, but it wasn’t all right. I knew how he felt. We were chasing our tails. Even if this was the grave of the killer zombie, it didn’t get us any closer to finding the zombie. And we had to find it. Find it, trap it, and destroy it. The sixty-four-thousand-dollar question was, could we do all that before it needed to feed again? I didn’t have an answer. That was a lie. I had an answer. I just didn’t like it. Out there somewhere, the zombie was feeding again.

Chapter 15

The trailer park where Evans lives is in St. Charles just off Highway 94. Acres of mobile homes roll out in every direction. Of course, there’s nothing mobile about them. When I was a kid, trailers could be hooked to the back of a car and moved. Simple. It was one of their appeals. Some of these mobile homes had three and four bedrooms, multiple baths. The only thing moving these puppies was a semitruck, or a tornado.

Evans’ trailer is an older model. I think, if he had to, he could chain it to the back of a pickup and move. Easier than hiring a moving van, I guess. But I doubt Evans will ever move. Hell, he hasn’t left the trailer in nearly a year.

The windows were golden with light. There was a little makeshift porch complete with an awning, guarding the door. I knew he would be up. Evans was always up. Insomnia sounded so harmless. Evans had made it a disease.

I was back in my black shorts outfit. The three bags of goodies were stuffed in a fa

I opened the screen door and knocked. Silence. No movement. Nothing. I raised my hand to knock again, then hesitated. Had Evans finally gotten to sleep? His first decent night’s sleep since I’d known him. Drat. I was still standing there with my hand half-raised when I felt him staring at me.

I looked up at the little window in the door. A slice of pale face was staring out from between the curtains. Evans’s blue eye blinked at me.

I waved.

His face disappeared. The door unlocked, then opened. There was no sight of Evans, just the open door. I walked in. Evans was standing behind the door, hiding.

He closed the door by leaning against it. His breathing was fast and shallow as if he’d been ru

“How are you doing, Evans?”

He leaned against the door, eyes too wide. His breathing was still too fast. Was he on something?

“Evans, you all right?” When in doubt, reverse your word order.

He nodded. “What do you want?” His voice was breathy.

I didn’t think he was going to believe I had just stopped by. Call it an instinct. “I need your help.”

He shook his head. “No.”

“You don’t even know what I want.”

He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”

“May I sit down?” I asked. If directness wouldn’t work, maybe politeness would.

He nodded. “Sure.”

I glanced around the small living-room area. I was sure there was a couch under the newspapers, paper plates, half-full cups, old clothes. There was a box of petrified pizza on the coffee table. The room smelled stale.

Would he freak if I moved stuff? Could I sit on the pile that I thought was the couch without everything collapsing? I decided to try. I’d sit in the freaking moldy pizza box if Evans would agree to help me.

I perched on a pile of papers. There was definitely something large and solid under the newspapers. Maybe the couch. “May I have a cup of coffee?”

He shook his head. “No clean cups.”

This I could believe. He was still pressed against the door as if afraid to come any closer. His hands were plunged into the pockets of his bathrobe.

“Can we just talk?” I asked.

He shook his head. I shook my head with him. He frowned at that. Maybe somebody was home.

“What do you want?” he asked.

“I told you, your help.”