Guilty Pleasures

“We start here,” I said.

Edward didn’t argue. He let the machine gun hang by its strap and drew his pistol. “You’re covered,” he said.

I laid the shotgun on the floor in front of the coffin, gripped the edge of the lid, said a quick prayer, and lifted. Valentine lay in the coffin. His scarred face was bare. He was still dressed as a riverboat gambler but this time in black. His frilly shirt was crimson. The colors didn’t look good against his auburn hair. One hand was half-curled over his thigh, a careless sleeper’s gesture. A very human gesture.

Edward peered into the coffin, gun pointed ceilingward. “This the one you threw Holy Water on?”

I nodded.

“Did a bang-up job,” Edward said.

Valentine never moved. I couldn’t even see him breathe. I wiped my sweating palms on my jeans and felt for a pulse in his wrist. Nothing. His skin was cool to the touch. He was dead. It wasn’t murder, no matter what the new laws said. You can’t kill a corpse.

The wrist pulsed. I jerked back like he’d burned me.

“What’s wrong?” Edward asked.

“I got a pulse.”

“It happens sometimes.”

I nodded. Yeah, it happened sometimes. If you waited long enough, the heart did beat, blood did flow, but so slow that it was painful to watch. Dead. I was begi

I knew one thing. If night fell with us here, we would die, or wish we had. Valentine had helped kill over twenty people. He had nearly killed me. When Nikolaos withdrew her protection, he’d finish the job if he could. We had come to kill Nikolaos. I think she would withdraw her protection ASAP. As the old saying goes, it was him or me. I preferred him.

I shook off the shoulder straps of the backpack.

“What are you looking for?” Edward asked.

“Stake and hammer,” I said without looking up.

“Not going to use the shotgun?”

I glanced up at him. “Oh, right. Why not rent a marching band while we’re at it?”

“If you just want to be quiet, there is another way.” He had a slight smile on his face.

I had the sharpened stake in my hand, but I was willing to listen. I’ve staked most of the vampires that I’ve killed, but it never gets easier. It is hard, messy work, though I don’t throw up anymore. I am a professional, after all.

He took a small case out of his own backpack. It held syringes. He drew out an ampule of some greyish liquid. “Silver nitrate,” he said.

Silver. Bane of the undead. Scourge of the supernatural. And all nicely modernized. “Does it work?” I asked.

“It works.” He filled one syringe and asked, “How old is this one?”

“A little over a hundred,” I said.

“Two ought to do it.” He shoved the needle into the big vein in Valentine’s neck. Before he had filled the syringe a second time, the body shivered. He shoved the second dose into the neck. Valentine’s body arched against the walls of the coffin. His mouth opened and closed. He gasped for air as if he were drowning.

Edward filled up another syringe and handed it towards me. I stared at it.

“It isn’t going to bite,” he said.

I took it gingerly between my thumb and the first two fingers on my right hand.

“What’s the matter with you?” he asked.

“I’m not a big fan of needles.”

He gri

I scowled at him. “Not exactly.”

Valentine’s body shook and bucked, hands thumping against the wooden walls. It made a small, helpless noise. His eyes never opened. He was going to sleep through his own death.

He gave one last shuddering jump, then collapsed against the side of the coffin like a broken rag doll.

“He doesn’t look very dead,” I said.

“They never do.”

“Stake their heart and chop off their heads, and you know they’re dead.”

“This isn’t staking,” he said.

I didn’t like it. Valentine lay there looking very whole and nearly human. I wanted to see some rotting flesh and bones turning to dust. I wanted to know he was dead.

“No one has ever gotten up out of their coffin after a syringe full of silver nitrate, Anita.”

I nodded but remained unconvinced.

“You check the other side. Go on.”

I went, but I kept glancing back at Valentine. He had haunted my nightmares for years, nearly killed me. He just didn’t look dead enough for me.

I opened the first coffin on my side, one-handed, holding the syringe carefully. An injection of silver nitrate probably wouldn’t do me much good either. The coffin was empty. The white imitation silk lining had conformed to the body like a mattress, but the body wasn’t there.

I flinched and stared around the room, but there was nothing there. I stared slowly upward, hoping that there was nothing floating above me. There wasn’t. Thank you, God.

I remembered to breathe finally. It was probably Theresa’s coffin. Yeah, that was it. I left it open and went to the next one. It was a newer model, probably fake wood, but nice and polished. The black male was in it. I had never gotten his name. Now I never would. I knew what it meant, coming in here. Not just defending yourself but taking out the vampires while they lay helpless. As far as I knew, this vampire had never hurt anyone. I laughed then; he was Nikolaos’s protege. Did I really think he’d never tasted human blood? No. I pressed the needle against his neck and swallowed hard. I hated needles. No particular reason.

I shoved it in and closed my eyes while I depressed the plunger. I could have pounded a stake through his heart, but sticking a needle in him put cold chills down my spine.

Edward called, “Anita!”

I whirled and found Aubrey sitting up in his coffin. He had Edward by the throat and was slowly lifting him off his feet.

The shotgun was still by Valentine’s coffin. Damn! I drew the 9mm and fired at Aubrey’s forehead. The bullet tossed his head back, but he just smiled and raised Edward straight-armed, legs dangling.

I ran for the shotgun.

Edward was having to use both hands to keep himself from being strangled by his own weight. He dropped one hand, fumbling for the machine gun.

Aubrey caught his wrist.

I picked up the shotgun, took two steps towards them and fired from three feet away. Aubrey’s head exploded; blood and brains spattered over the wall. The hands lowered Edward to the floor but didn’t let go. Edward drew a ragged breath. The right hand convulsed around his throat, fingers digging for his windpipe.

I had to step around Edward to fire at the chest. The blast took out the heart and most of the left side of the chest. The left arm sort of hung there by strands of tissue and bone. The corpse flopped back into its coffin.

Edward dropped to his knees, breath wheezing and choking through his throat.

“Nod if you can breathe, Edward,” I said. Though if Aubrey had crushed his windpipe I don’t know what I could have done. Run back and gotten Lillian the doctor rat, maybe.

Edward nodded. His face was a mottled reddish purple, but he was breathing.

My ears were ringing with the sound of the shotgun inside the stone walls. So much for surprise. So much for silver nitrate. I pumped another round into the gun and went to Valentine’s coffin. I blew him apart. Now, he was dead.

Edward staggered to his feet. He croaked, “How old was that thing?”

“Over five hundred,” I said.

He swallowed, and it looked like it hurt. “Shit.”

“I wouldn’t try sticking any needles into Nikolaos.”

He managed to glare at me, still half-leaning against Aubrey’s coffin.

I turned to the fifth coffin. The one we had saved until last without any talk between us. It was set against the far wall. A dainty white coffin, too small for an adult. Candlelight gleamed on the carvings in the lid.

I was tempted to just blow a hole in the coffin, but I had to see her. I had to see what I was shooting at. My heart started thudding in my throat; my chest was tight. She was a master vampire. Killing them, even in daylight, is a chancy thing. Their gaze can trap you until nightfall. Their minds. Their voices. So much power. And Nikolaos was the most powerful I’d ever seen. I had my blessed cross. I would be all right. I had had too many crosses taken from me to feel completely safe. Oh, well. I tried to raise the lid one-handed, but it was heavy and not balanced for easy opening like modem coffins. “Can you back me on this, Edward? Or are you still relearning how to breathe?”