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I moved over to the nearest door and slipped quietly through to stand at the back of the lecture hall. Molly was quickly there at my side. Subway Sue was up on the stage, striding back and forth, hitting the fascinated packed audience with what it was like to live on the very edges of society. To be in the city, but not part of it, alone and unsupported, surviving entirely on your wits.

“You don’t know how easy it is, to fall off the edge,” she said. “All it would take is one really bad day, and any one of you could end up just like me. I had a home and job and a life, once. I had friends and family. And then I lost them all, one by one. Lost them, or had them taken from me. And so I ended up a homeless person, living on the streets, because even after everything else is gone, the streets are always there. In time I became a luck vampire, and made a new life for myself. I could have had my old life back, but I didn’t want it anymore. I’d become somebody else, and my old life wouldn’t have fit. But, once again, all it took was one really bad day, and I lost it all again. The one thing you have to learn is never to depend on anyone but yourself. Because there’s nothing you can have that the world can’t take away.”

The audience were transfixed, breathless. They’d never encountered anyone like Subway Sue before. I slipped back out the door, Molly behind me, and we went to look in on Mr. Stab. He stood entirely at ease on the stage, glaring calmly out at his equally packed audience, as he lectured them on the skills of murder, the stalking of victims, the joys of slaughter…and how even the smallest seeds of evil can flower in a man and corrupt him. He talked of hunting prey, of tracking a target unsuspected for days or even weeks, if necessary.

“You need to know these things,” he said. “You don’t have your legendary armour anymore. You ca

In the next auditorium, the Blue Fairy was sitting relaxed on a bar stool on the stage, drinking a cocktail with a little umbrella in it, while he lectured on elves, and their often unsuspected interventions in the modern world.

“The elves are long gone,” he said easily. “They walked sideways from the sun centuries ago, dropping out of our world forever. Everyone knows that; but, like most things everyone knows, it’s a crock of shit. Most of the elves are gone, but some remain, intent on revenge. They hate humanity, for ruling the world that was once theirs, and they live to do us harm and bring us down. They’ll side with anyone, or anything, that will help them in their endless, bitter cause.”

And finally, we listened to Janissary Jane tell the family how to fight demons. She marched back and forth across the stage, her cold, practical voice making what she had to say even more disturbing, and scary.

“Demons,” she said flatly, “ca

Pe

“Well, Eddie,” she said. “Looks like you finally did something right.”

“You’re welcome,” I said.

“Bitch,” said Molly.

“You’re welcome, bitch,” I said.

CHAPTER SEVEN

A Thousand and One Damnations





It was early afternoon on a bright and breezy summer day, and the grounds of the Hall rang with the merry sound of organised mayhem. Janissary Jane had half the family out doing military exercises again. Separated into groups with terse, efficient names like Alpha, Beta, and Omega, men and women charged up and down the lawns yelling their battle cries and frightening the gryphons. Group attacked group with blank ammunition, wooden batons, and even bare hands, and generally ran themselves ragged under Janissary Jane’s barked orders. Watching happily from a comfortable deck chair, in the shade of a broad parasol, I thought they looked pretty good. Even if they were making a hell of a mess of the carefully cultivated lawns. The team of gardeners had already thrown a major wobbly, and slouched off for a collective sulk and brew up in their shed.

Janissary Jane had been putting the family through its paces for over two weeks now, and I had to say, the family was taking to military training and discipline like a duck to water. We are all trained to fight the good fight from an early age, but the torcs made it easy. It’s not difficult to play at soldiers when you have the armour to make you fast and strong, and keep you from getting hurt. But not many actually have the aptitude for it. Which is one of the reasons why field agents have always been such a small part of the family.

Training without a torc was a whole different matter. You could get hurt, and so could your opponent. Surprisingly, that hadn’t put off as many of the family as I’d expected. If anything, they embraced the new training. Because it felt more…real. So their achievements felt more real. And they practically worshipped Janissary Jane, who’d done everything the Droods had and more, without the aid of the family armour.

Pe

“Are you sure you’re comfortable enough there, Eddie? Got everything you need? Perhaps you’d like me to rush back and bring you out a footstool?”

“Oh, would you?” I said. “I’d be ever so grateful.”

“Blow it out your ear.” Pe

“Damn right,” I said. “I’m exhausted just sitting here watching them. More importantly, it’s doing a hell of a lot for family morale. Everything they’re accomplishing comes from themselves, not from their armour. It’s doing wonders for their self-confidence.”

Pe

“To set an example, yes. I cut the family off at the knees, when I took away their golden torcs. Took away their pride, their self-esteem, and their confidence. Janissary Jane is beating it back into them the hard way, and they love it.”

“I take it you’ve noticed Harry is also watching it all from a safe distance, along with several of his traditionalist chums?”

“Of course,” I said. “He never wants to be a part of anything I organise, but he never misses out on anything that’s happening. He’s probably making notes for his regular report to the Matriarch. She can’t be seen to be taking an interest personally, but Harry’s been her eyes and ears ever since he got here.”

“I told you we should have brought him into the I