Daemons Are Forever

“Now you’re talking, boy!” said the Sarjeant-at-Arms.

“Sounds good to me,” said the Armourer. “The family’s been terribly reactive for years, under the Matriarch.”

“Who did you have in mind?” said Molly. “Manifest Destiny?”

“No,” I said. “They’re still weak. Stamping on them wouldn’t impress anyone. We need something…bigger.”

“There are two main threats to humanity,” the Armourer said ponderously, slipping into his lecture mode. “Doesn’t matter whether they’re scientific or magical in origin, mythical or political or biblical; all of humanity’s enemies can be separated into two distinct kinds. Those who do us harm because they hope to gain something from it; these we call demons. And those who are too big to care about us, but who might do us harm just because we’re in the way; those we call gods, for want of a better word. The family is trained and equipped to deal with demons. The gods are best handled delicately, from a safe distance, and through as many intermediaries as possible.”…

“I’ve already killed one god,” I said. “And the Heart screamed just like a human as it died.”

“I helped,” said Strange. “You couldn’t have done it without me.”

“Perhaps,” I said. “But then you would say that, wouldn’t you?”

“Can we please put the delusions of grandeur to one side, just for the moment?” said Pe

“Not attacking any gods sounds like a really good strategy to me,” said Molly. “I’m voting for demons.”

“Demons sounds good to me,” said the Armourer. “Never any shortage of demons screwing over humanity.”

“All right,” I said. “Demons it is. Anyone want to throw some names onto the table, just to get us started?”

“The Stalking Shrouds?” said the Sarjeant-at-Arms.

“They were pretty much wiped out last year,” said Pe

“The Loathly Ones?” I said. “I hate soul-eaters.”

Pe

“I’d really like to do something about the Mandrake Recorporation,” said Molly, “if only because they creep me out, big time.”

“Not really a good enough reason to go to war with someone, though, is it?” said the Armourer.

“The Cult of the Crimson Altar?” said Jacob. “Old-school satanists, offshoot of the original Hellfire Club. Never liked them. They turned me down for membership back when I was alive, the blackballing bastards.”

“Currently enduring a major schism,” Pe

“The Dream Meme?” said the Sarjeant hopefully.

“No!” said the Armourer. “We still don’t know for sure who or what they are, or even what they want. And yes, Cyril, I have heard all the latest conspiracy theories, and I’m not convinced by any of them. They’re just a supernatural urban legend, like the Sceneshifters.”

“Vril Power Inc?” said Molly. “Everyone’s favourite nightmare from World War Two?”

“Gone into politics since the reunification of Germany,” said Pe

“Enough names,” I said. “We need to send a message. A strong message. So I say we take on the Loathly Ones. No one likes soul-eaters, so no one will ally with them, even against us. I say we track down this new gathering of theirs, send in an armoured force and either wipe them out for good or, at the very least, send them back to whatever hell they came from. It’s only right, when you consider this family was responsible for bringing them into this world in the first place.”

The Armourer and the Sarjeant-at-Arms scowled. They already knew that. Pe

“Think I’ll contact my old friend Janissary Jane,” I said. “She knows all there is to know about fighting demons. When she’s sober. Pe

“All the rogues?” said Pe

“Well, obviously not the real shits, like the late and very unlamented Bloody Man, Arnold Drood,” I said. “But there aren’t many of the real bad seeds left, are there?”

“Only a few, thank the lord,” said the Armourer. “We’ve been weeding them out, down the years. Tiger Tim is still hiding out somewhere in the Amazon rain forest, because he knows anyone even halfway civilised will kill him the moment he shows his face…and Old Mother Shipton is finally ru

“And they’re the only monsters left?” I said.

“The only ones we know of,” said Pe

“We often don’t like the things that are good for us,” I said calmly. “And as with so many other things, where the old Council was concerned, the rogues aren’t necessarily what you were told they were. Some were just troublemakers who insisted on telling the truth. The family needs new advice, new tricks, new ways of looking at things. The rogues can supply that in abundance. I’m also bringing in a few friends from outside, to help out in guest tutorials. Janissary Jane, of course. And I thought maybe the Blue Fairy.”

“Him?” said Pe

“He’ll fit in perfectly,” I said. “Besides, I hear he’s a new person since his near-death experience.”

“If you’re bringing in your old friends, I want some of mine,” said Molly. “If only so I won’t feel so outnumbered.”

“Okay,” I said. “Who did you have in mind?”

“Subway Sue and Mr. Stab,” said Molly, smiling sweetly.

“Are you crazy?” I said. “A vampire who sucks the good fortune out of people, and the uncaught immortal serial killer of Old London Town? Over my dead body!”

There would probably have been heated words and raised voices at that moment, if all the alarms hadn’t gone off at once. The Hall was under attack.