The Good,the Bad and the Uncanny

Larry nodded and rose to his feet, then looked at Walker challengingly. "I'm Larry Oblivion. Do you have anything to say to me?"

Walker looked at him thoughtfully. "No, I don't think so. Not for the moment."

"Don't think you can intimidate me, Walker. I'm dead."

Walker smiled. "You, of all people, should know that death isn't the worst thing that can happen. When I want you, I'll come for you."

Larry turned his back on Walker and strode out of the bar, his back straight and his head held high. And perhaps only Walker and I knew he was ru

"Would you care for a drink?" I said, gesturing at the Valhalla Venom with malice aforethought.

Walker studied the bottle without touching it and raised an eyebrow briefly. "Ah, yes… I wondered what had become of that. The steward at my club tried to persuade me to try some, but I had more sense. That stuff could eat holes in your kirlian aura. But you go right ahead, John. Don't let me put you off."

I pushed the bottle and glass to one side. "What do you want, Walker?"

He sighed slightly, as though disappointed by my lack of subtlety. "I understand you've learned my little secret, John. Yes; it's true. I'm dying. And no, there's nothing that can be done. We all die of something. All that's left to me is to make arrangements for what will happen afterwards."

"You want me to arrange your funeral?" I said. "Or just try to keep people from pissing on your grave?"

"I want you to take over my position when I'm gone," said Walker. "I want you to be the new representative of the new Authorities. Because there's no-one else I can trust to do the job properly."

You think you've heard everything, then the universe rears up and slaps you round the head.

"What?"

"I said…"

"I know what you said! Are you crazy? I don't want the job!"

"Best kind of person for a job like this," said Walker. "And who more fitting than the son of my oldest friend?"

"Oh please," I said. "Emotional blackmail will get you nowhere."

"Always worth a try," said Walker. "Look, we just went head to head over the elf, while a whole bunch of your people did their very best to terminate me with extreme prejudice. When you're not trying to have me arrested or stepped on, you're hiring me to investigate cases that will almost certainly get me killed. Now, call me paranoid if you like, but I'm starting to detect a pattern here. So why would you want someone like me, someone you've tried to run out of the Nightside on more than one occasion, to take over your job?"

"I need a man with strong convictions," said Walker. "A man who won't fold when the game gets serious. A man who won't take any shit from the bad guys. You remind me a lot of myself when I was younger."

"Now you're just being nasty," I said.

"I have some time left," said Walker. "Enough to teach you the things you need to know. Including how to avoid my mistakes."

"You mean how to avoid becoming you?" I shook my head firmly. "I don't want anything to do with this. You know I've always had problems with authority figures. Why would I want to be one? Why pick on me?"

"Doesn't every father want his son to follow in his footsteps; only do it better?"

"I am not your son!"

"Who has shaped your life more than I? Who helped make you what you are? I am responsible for you, John, in every way that matters."

"Only in the sense that I'm determined to be nothing like you," I said. "I know a bad example when I see one."

" 'How sharper than a serpent's tooth,' " murmured Walker. "Come with me, John. Come walk with me through the Nightside and see it as I see it. My portable Timeslip can take us anywhere in a moment. We can take in the whole Nightside in a single night. Watch me work. See what I have to do, to maintain the peace and keep the lid on things. There's a lot to my job that no-one ever knows but I."

"I don't want your job. I have a job, and I'm bloody good at it."

Walker considered me thoughtfully. "You always say you want to help people. How better than by mediating between them and the Authorities? By using their power to protect the little people from those who would prey on them? How many more people could you help, from a position of power?"

"Get thee behind me, Satan," I said, and he actually chuckled.

I thought about it. Despite all my best instincts, a lot of what he said made sense in a seductive kind of way. The things I could do, with the Authorities behind me… A lot of the people I couldn't touch, because of their power and co

"If," I said, "just for the sake of argument… If I was to take over your position, I wouldn't be the Authorities' lap-dog. I'd go my own way, follow my own conscience…"

"That's why I chose you," said Walker.

"Is there really nothing I can do to help you?" I said. "This is the Nightside. There must be something…"

"If there was something to be done, I'd be doing it," Walker said calmly. "Would you really try to help me, John? After all the times I've tried to have you arrested or killed?"

"Of course," I said. "You're my father's oldest friend. And… for good or bad, you've always been a part of my life. Always there… always looking out for me, one way or another. There were so many things I wanted to say to my father, before he died. You always think there'll be time enough… until there isn't. Now here I am, wondering what I should say to you. My oldest enemy, my oldest friend. Part of me thinks I should have killed you years ago: for all the people you've trampled underfoot, for all the lives you've destroyed, all in the name of maintaining your precious status quo."

"You're not a killer," said Walker.

"I have killed. When I had to. But I try not to. It would make me too much like you."

"So you're admitting we have some things in common?"

I showed him my teeth in a smile. "Don't say that like it's a good thing."

"I'm not ashamed of anything I've done," said Walker.

"But are you proud of anything?"

"I'm proud of you. One of my better long-term projects."

"Do you have any idea how creepy that sounds?"

"I have kept the peace in the Nightside for thirty years and more," said Walker. "I've stopped the Nightside from tearing itself apart, kept it from spilling over its boundaries into the vulnerable everyday world, and even managed a little justice along the way. That's the best you can hope for, in my position."

"When I look back through my life," I said, "I can see times when you could have killed me, and didn't, when anyone else in your position would have. You didn't because I'm the son of your oldest friend, the man you betrayed and hounded to his death. You can't kill me, Walker. I'm your conscience."

"You keep on thinking that," said Walker. "If it makes you feel more secure."

"What if I told you to take your job and shove it?" I said. "Would you have me killed then?"

"I am many things," said Walker. "But not petty. I'd simply move on to my next choice."

I had to raise an eyebrow at that. "You have someone else in mind?"

"Of course."

I waited, but he had nothing more to say. I nodded, slowly. "I'll have to think about this."