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He, too, seemed to know that her course was run. And, feeling suddenly that she could not go on thus attending her own funeral, she stole to the door, listened for sounds, then slipped down the stairs and away.
But she was so physically exhausted that she could scarcely drag herself as far as St. James’s Park. There she sat down by the water. People, sunbeams, and ducks, shading leaves, spiky reeds, and this sirocco within her! A tall man walking from the Whitehall end made a little convulsive movement, as if to put his hand to his hat, corrected it at sight of her face, and lounged on. Realising what her face must be expressing, she got up, and, trailing on to Westminster Abbey, went in and sat down in a pew. There, bent forward, with her face resting on her arms, she stayed quite half an hour. She had not prayed, but she had rested, and the expression on her face had changed. She felt more fit to face people and not show so much.
It was past six, and she went on to South Square. Getting unseen to her room, she had a long hot bath, put on a di
“I’ve told them to put you a hot-water bottle; stuck against your back, it helps you to sleep. Good-night, bless you!”
Again Di
With her early tea she received a letter with the heading of an hotel at Chingford.
“MADAM,—
“The enclosed letter addressed to you was found in the pocket of a gentleman who is lying here with a very sharp attack of malaria. I am posting it on to you, and am
“Truly yours,
“ROGER QUEAL, M.D.”
She read the letter… “Whatever I do, forgive, and believe that I have loved you. Wilfrid.” And he was ill! All the impulses which sprang up she instantly thrust back. Not a second time would she rush in where angels feared to tread! But, hurrying down, she telephoned to Stack the news that he was lying at the Chingford hotel with an attack of malaria.
“He’ll want his pyjamas and his razors, then, miss. I’ll take ’em down to him.”
Forcing back the words: “Give him my love,” she said instead, “He knows where I am if there is anything I can do.”
The blacker bitterness of her mood was gone; yet she was as cut off from him as ever! Unless he came or sent for her she could make no move; and deep down she seemed to know that he would neither come nor send. No! He would strike his tent and flit away from where he had felt too much.
Towards noon Hubert came to say good-bye. It was at once clear to her that he, too, knew. He was coming back for the rest of his leave in October, he said. Jean was to stay at Condaford till after her child was born in November. She had been ordered to be out of the summer heat. He seemed to Di
“Quaint to find you talking like that, Hubert. You never used to care about Condaford.”
“It makes a difference to have an heir.”
“Oh! It’ll be an heir, will it?”
“Yes, we’ve made up our minds to a boy.”
“And will there be a Condaford by the time he comes into it?”
Hubert shrugged. “We’ll have a try at keeping it. Things don’t last unless you set yourself to keep them.”
“And not always then,” murmured Di
CHAPTER 31
Wilfrid’s words: “You can tell her family I’m going away,” and Di
Since Di
“He wanted five hundred pounds, Di
“What sort of man was he, uncle?”
“An enthusiastic-looking chap, rather like my hairdresser.”
Di
“The depression is against him, my dear. Bones and first editions are extraordinarily sensitive. He’ll have to live a good ten years to get anything like a price.”
“Do many people try to palm things off on you?”
“Some succeed, Di
“We English certainly are getting uglier.”
“Don’t you believe it. Put the people we meet in drawing-rooms and shops into cassocks and cowls, armour and jerkins, and you’ll have just the faces of the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries.”
“But we do despise beauty, Uncle. We co
“Well, it makes people happy to despise what they haven’t got. We’re only about the third—no, the fourth—plainest people in Europe. But take away the Celtic infusions, and I admit we’d be the first.”
Di
Adrian watched her with an ache. She looked so bone-listless.
“Hubert’s gone, then?” he said.
“Yes.”
“And what are you going to do, my dear?”
Di
“I think I shall go abroad, Uncle.”
Adrian’s hand went to his goatee.
“I see,” he said, at last. “Money?”
“I have enough.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere.”
“By yourself?”
Di
“The drawback to going away,” murmured Adrian, “is the having to come back.”
“There doesn’t seem to be anything much for me to do just now. So I think I’ll cheer people up by not seeing them for a bit.”
Adrian debated within himself.
“Well, my dear, only you can decide what’s best for you. But if you felt like a long travel, it strikes me that Clare might be glad to see you in Ceylon.”
Seeing by the surprised movement of her hands that the idea was new to her, he went on: