Time's Last Gift

The explorers had made their camp some distance from the others because they had wanted to discuss their plans for tomorrow without interruption. They intended to study the region for three days before moving on. But Drummond's outbursts had cut off the pla

Rachel looked out into the starless and moonless night and said, 'I hope he comes back soon. It's dangerous wandering around out there. He's only got his pistol, too.'

'I'd suggest a physical and mental examination for him,' Gribardsun said. 'But he would object, and he might be justified. I don't know how objective I myself could be in my examination.'

'Do you suppose it could be temporal shock?' Rachel said.

'I think so,' von Billma

'The first three or four days,' Gribardsun said. 'Though even that was not an overpowering feeling by any means.'

Von Billma

After a while, Rachel looked up across the fire at Gribardsun. Tears were ru

Gribardsun said, 'Most human beings seem to go wrong in one way or another to a greater or lesser degree. They're much less stable than animals, and this instability is the price humans pay for their sentience and their complicated emotional system. Self-consciousness and the power of speech are the requisites, though not the only ones, for progress in man. But man pays for his greater potentiality by a greater vulnerability to imbalance. And your Drummond is just one of the ten billion imbalances of the twenty-first century.'

'And that theory makes me one of the ten billion unbalanced too, right?' she said. 'Well, God knows that I know that. But what about you, John?'

'Human, all too human,' he said, smiling slightly. 'But my early life, the really formative period, was rather peculiar. I'm not sure that I look at the world through an entirely human prism. But that doesn't really make much difference in my response to the world. The kind of imbalance that I am talking about is largely genetic. The very nature of a man's nervous system forces him to stumble; he makes mistakes and errors and reacts in a unique egotistic ma

'I suppose I was lucky. I have an unusual stability. But for that I must pay a price, of course. What that price is...'

'Oh, you're so mysterious!' she said. 'You've been talking a lot and you've said almost nothing meaningful! What is all this about your early years? Weren't you raised by human beings? Surely you aren't some sort of Mowgli or Romulus or Remus? Everybody would have heard about it if you had been, and, besides, the very idea is ridiculous. And I happen to know that you were born on the I

'That's what the records say.'

'I know what you've been doing with all this mysterious nonsensical talk. You've been taking my mind off Drummond!

You're very clever. But thoughtful. I thank you for your concern. But I have to worry about him. What is he doing out there, wandering in the snow? He might get lost or some bear or lion might get him, or...'

'This isn't mountain country so there aren't any bears, and besides, the bears are hibernating,' he said. 'And we haven't seen a lion for days.'

'The wolves!' she said.

'When he left he knew what he was walking into,' Gribardsun said. 'I suggest that you go to bed and put him out of your mind, if you can. He'll be coming home soon enough, and in the morning we'll see how he feels. We do have work to do, you know, and...'

He started to rise, but she said, 'Sit down, John. Please! Just for a moment! Don't leave me!'

He lowered himself on the cushion again and said, 'Very well. I'll stay a little while, if it will help you.'

She leaned forward and said, 'John! Do you or do you not love me?'

He smiled slightly again, and she said, 'Don't laugh at me!'

'I wouldn't do that,' he said. 'I was just thinking of - well, never mind. There were women bold enough even in my youth. I knew more than one who would come out with the same question if she felt the need for an answer. But I sometimes forget how free modern women are. That, however, is neither here nor there, is it? You asked, and you shall receive. I find you very attractive, Rachel, and if you were free, I might ask you to marry me. But you aren't free, and I am old-fashioned. I don't believe in adultery, and I wouldn't try to break up a marriage or take advantage of the fact that it's breaking up. I don't love you with the intensity or the passion you meant when you asked me if I loved you. I do like you very much. But I don't love you.'

There was a silence. Something white, a huge bird, glided past the snow-laden branches of the trees just on the edge of the firelight.

Finally, Rachel said, 'I thought you weren't in love with me, but I was hoping that you were and that you felt you couldn't say or do anything because I was still married. But you don't love me, and I thank you for telling me so honestly, even though it does hurt.'

'I seldom have regrets,' he said, 'since regret changes nothing. But I am sorry that this whole affair developed. It's not only making you and Drummond unhappy, and making Robert miserable and myself uneasy; it's decreasing the scientific efficiency of all four of us.'

'And we have an obligation to those who sent us here,' she said. 'I know. But what can I do to make things better?'

'Call me when Drummond gets in,' he said. I'll get up, and we'll have this out before breakfast, if he shows up soon enough, of course.'

'I don't know that he'll listen to reason any more.'

'Then he won't, and we'll proceed from there.'

'You're so practical,' she said. 'And so self-controlled.'

'I've had much practice,' he said. He rose and walked to bis hut and then turned. 'I don't like to leave you alone, but there really is no point in staying up. If Drummond hasn't returned by morning, I may go out after him. He is an adult and so shouldn't have to be watched as if he were a child. But I am the head of this expedition, and it's up to me to keep watch on my people.'

Rachel sat for ten minutes by the fire and then went into her hut.