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«Out with it, then.»
Fiddler straightened in his chair and cleared his throat. Hedge poked him in the ribs as he was about to begin. After a menacing scowl, he tried again. «It's like this, Sergeant. We've seen a hell of a lot of our friends die, right? And maybe we didn't have to give the orders, so maybe you think it's easier for us. But I don't think so. You see, to us those people were living, breathing. They were friends. When they die, it hurts. But you go around telling yourself that the only way to keep from going mad is to take all that away from them, so you don't have to think about it, so you don't have to feel anything when they die. But, damn, when you take away everybody else's humanity, you take away your own. And that'll drive you mad as sure as anything. It's that hurt we feel that makes us keep going, Sergeant. And maybe we're not getting anywhere, but at least we're not ru
There was silence in the room. Then Hedge punched Fiddler in the arm. «I'll be damned! You got a brain in there, after all. I guess I been wrong about you all these years.»
«Yeah, right,» Fiddler said, rolling his eyes at Mallet, «and who is it who's burned his hair off so many times he's gotta wear some ugly leather cap all the time, hey?»
Mallet laughed, but the tension remained and everyone's gaze swung back to fix on their sergeant. Slowly, Whiskeyjack studied each man in his squad. He saw the caring in their eyes, the open offer to the friendship he'd spent years suppressing. All that time pushing them away, pushing everyone away, and the stubborn bastards just kept on coming back.
So Sorry hadn't been human. His conviction that all she'd done was within the possibilities of humanity now seemed to rest on uncertain ground. But it did not collapse. He'd seen too much in his life. There'd be no sudden faith in his view of human history, no burgeoning optimism to chase away all the demonic memories of the hells he'd lived through.
Nil Still, there came a time when some denials lost their function, when the world's relentless battering at him made his foolishness obvious even to himself. He was, finally, and after all these years, among friends. That was a hard admission and he realized he was already impatient with it.
«All right,» he growled, «enough with the flapping lips. We've got work to do. Corporal?»
«Sergeant?» Kalam replied.
«Get yourself ready. You've got the daylight hours to re-establish contact with the Assassins» Guild. Meanwhile, I want everyone else to lay out their weapons and give them a good cleaning. Repairs to armour.
There'll be an inspection, and if I find a single damn thing I don't like, there'll be hell coming down. Understood?»
«We hear ya,» Mallet said, gri
ed I ed ie, ilk tre go to $e ~en s a ain ~e'd ism k Despite their slow pace, Coll's wound had opened half a dozen times since they'd begun the journey. He'd found a way of sitting in his saddle, leaning to one side and taking most of the weight on his uninjured leg, and since this morning the wound had yet to reopen. The awkward position brought pains and cramps to the rest of him, however.
Paran knew a foul mood when he saw one. Though it was clear to both of them that a bond had formed between them, comfortable and unfettered by pretences, they'd exchanged but scant words as the ravages of Coll's wound continued to take its toll.
Coll's entire left leg, from the hip where the sword had done its damage down to the foot, was a uniform sun-darkened brown colour.
Clots of drying blood gathered in the joints of his upper leg plates and knee guard. As the thigh swelled, they were forced to slice the leather padding beneath the plate.
Succour had been denied them at the Catlin Bridge garrison, since the lone surgeon stationed there had been sleeping off one of his «bad nights'.
Clean bandages had been donated, though, and it was these-already soaked through-that now covered the wound.
There was little traffic on Jammit's Worry despite the city's walls being within sight. The flood of refugees from the north had since ended, and those who would gather for the Gedderone Festival had already done so.
As they approached the edge of Worrytown, Coll raised himself from the semi-conscious state he'd been in for the last few hours. His face was deathly white. «Is this Worry Gate?» he asked dully.
«I believe so,» Paran said, since they were on the road sharing that strange name. «Will we be permitted to pass within?» he asked. «Will they call for a surgeon?»
Coll shook his head. «Take me on through. Phoenix I
«Very well, Coll.» He'd be surprised if the guards permitted it, and he'd need a story to tell them, though Coll had said nothing of how he'd been wounded. «I hope,» he muttered, «there's someone in this Phoenix I
Rallick nudged himself another inch upward. His limbs trembled with exhaustion. If not for the morning shadows on this side of the belfry, he'd have been spotted long ago. As it was, he would not remain hidden much longer.
Taking the stairs would have been suicide in the darkness. Ocelot would have set alarms all along the way-the man was no fool at covering the approaches to his position.
If he was up there, Rallick reminded himself. If not, Coll was in trouble. There was no telling if his friend had arrived at the gates yet, and the silence from the top of the belfry could mean anything. He paused to rest and glanced up. Ten feet to go, the most critical ones yet. He was so tired it was all he could do simply to retain the handholds. The silent approach was now beyond him. His only advantage lay in that Ocelot's concentration would be eastward, while he now climbed the west side of the tower.
He drew some deep breaths, then reached for another handhold.
Passers-by stopped to watch Paran and Coll move slowly through Worrytown towards the gate. Ignoring them, and the questions they asked, the captain focused his attention on the two guards at the gate itself. They'd spotted him and Coll, and now stood waiting.
Reaching the gate, Paran motioned that they would pass through. One guard nodded while the other walked alongside the captain's horse.
«Your friend needs a surgeon,» he said. «If you wait just inside we can have one here in five minutes.»
Paran refused the offer. «We need to find the Phoenix I
The guard was dubious. «Be surprised if he'd make it that far. But if that's what you want, the least we can do is give you an escort.»
As they emerged from the gate's shadow the other guard cried out in surprise.
Paran held his breath as the man stepped close to Coll. «I know him,» he said. «He's Coll jhamin, of House jhamin. I served under him.» «What? I thought Coll died a few years back» the other guard said «Screw the writs,» his companion snapped. «I know what I know, Vildron. This is Coll, all right.»
«He wants to go to the Phoenix I
Paran relaxed. «Thanks, soldier.» He looked past the man, eager to see what he could of the city now that the wall was behind him. Immediately before them rose a humped hill, its sides overgrown with weeds and gnarled trees. On its summit squatted a temple of some kind, abandoned long ago, from which a square-sided tower rose, capped by a bronze A, — A r