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"You notice I never sing in the morning? I like to sing in the pool, your voice carries. But I never sing in the morning."?
"I notice that."
"You know what I used to think?"
"No, sir."
"That red things were best for hangovers, in the morning. A really bad one, I'd drink a bottle of ketchup."
Man was cuckoo.
"You know what I think I might do?"
"What's that?"
"Get married."
"You have to be in love, Mr. Woody. It's the law."
"I mean it. Not right away but pretty soon. There's one I like, too.
The redhead."
"You mean the one say you raped her, wants to take you to court and have you thrown in jail?"
"The one that was here-when was it?"
"You had all kind of ladies here, Mr. Woody."
Do
"The redhead, with the red bush."
"Has, huh? You don't tell me."
"Ginger," the man said.
The man remembered her name.
"She the one, huh?"
"I'm in love with her."
"Before you get married, how 'bout we get this new will done?"
"I could put her in it."
"You could. Let's see you have anybody closer to you."
"I can't think of any."
"Go through the alphabet. A… B… C… D. Anybody you like start with D, Mr. Woody?"
"Did you know I was suppose to wear glasses?"
"We thinking of Ds, Mr. Woody. Come on, let's think of somebody."
Do
"What do I need glasses for, I can see all right. That's why I'm not go
Man had chicken lo mein for brains. The trouble was, Do
"I've been thinking of writing a book. I could dictate it, like we're doing now."
Do
"I thought of somebody, Mr. Woody."
"Who?"
"Myself. I'd be proud to be in your will."
Do
"Well, yeah, you're go
"I said, who's name start with D? You didn't say nothing."
"I was waiting for you to get to L." The man still gri
"Damn. You way ahead of me, huh?" Do
Woody, how much you have in mind to leave me when you go?"
The man tried to look away to think, but Do
"I don't know…"
"About. Gimme a round number."
"How long have you been with me?"
Oh, man… "Mr. Woody, how long doesn't have nothing to do with it.
All by myself, who takes care of you?
Feeds you, cleans your mess, keeps people from ru
Keep going, the man was nodding.
"Who protects your life from people that send you bombs?"
"You do."
"What is a man does all that worth to you after you gone and you don't need the money anyway?"
"I don't know."
"Or have anybody else to give it to."
"Twenty-five thousand?"
Shit.
"Mr. Woody, you giving that to a woman you don't even know."
"A hundred thousand?"
"Your lawyer gets that for taking you to lunch and you pay for it, at your club." Do
"Think a minute. Would you pay this woman two million dollars so she won't send you a bomb, blow you up?"
"If I have to."
"Then wouldn't you want to give the same amount, at least, to the person that's go
You understand what I'm saying, the person being me?"
Look at the man's glassy wet eyes, all the busted blood vessels in his nose, his face; the man was a mess. Yeah, but he was nodding, agreeing.
"I guess that's fair."
Do
"Okay, I'm putting in-how's this? You being of sound ilgB, mind…"-pausing to write-"you want to leave Do
The doorbell rang.
And what he said was, "Shit."
Got up and went out to the front hall hoping it was the paperboy come to collect, Do
He peeked through the peephole as he always did, cautious, and the dark cloud parted and the sun came out to shine on-loo kit who's here-Sergeant Mankowski and the redhead name Ginger.
Chris said, "I hope we're not interrupting anything. If Mr. Woody's floating in the pool we'll come back."
"No, he's not floating today. Come in, come in."
"Miss Wyatt would like to have a word with him."
"Yeah, that's fine. He be glad to see you." Do
"Mr. Woody, look who come to see you. Ginger, Mr. Woody, and her friend." All talk and motion all at once.
Greta was giving Chris a look. He shrugged, no help.
Do
Greta's voice, kept low, said, "What's going on?" Chris said, "Beats me." Woody was creeping toward Greta on his swollen legs, arms bent but outstretched.
"Boy-oh-boy… Ginger, is that you? Sit down and we'll have a drink.
Do
Chris watched Do
Do
Or he'll make you a nice drink."
Chris said, "You have any peanuts?"
"Yeah, those peanuts, we fresh out. Listen, she be fine with Mr.
Woody. Can watch some TV."
Chris liked the way Greta said, "I wasn't fine with Mr.
Woody the last time I was here." Turned to the man creeping up in his bathrobe and said, "Are you go
"Boy-oh-boy," Woody said.
Do
"Yeah, that means he's mellow, feeling good. He'll be nice. Huh, Mr.
Woody? Sure." Do
"Come with me, I'll show you something will interest you."
Greta motioned to Chris, Go on, and that took care of that.
Once they were in the hall Do
"See?" There were three green tinted checks to the sheet, issued by Manufacturers National Bank, each imprinted with Ricks Enterprises, Inc. and bearing Woody's signature at the bottom.