The Snapper

–There’s no point in a

He stood up.

–A man needs a pint after all tha’, he said.

–Is that all? said Veronica, shocked.

–Wha’ d’yeh mean, Veronica?

–It’s a terrible—Veronica started.

But she couldn’t really go on. She thought that Sharon’s news deserved a lot more attention, and some sort of punishment. As far as Veronica was concerned this was the worst thing that had ever happened the family. But she couldn’t really explain why, not really. And she knew that, anyway, nothing could be done about it. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad once she got used to it.

Then she thought of something.

–The neighbours, she said.

–Wha’ abou’ them? said Jimmy Sr.

Veronica thought for a bit.

–What’ll they say? she then said.

–You don’t care wha’ tha’ lot says, do yeh? said Jimmy Sr.

–Yes. I do.

–Ah now, Veronica.

He sat down.

Sharon spoke.

–They’ll have a laugh when they find ou’ an’ they’ll try an’ guess who I’m havin’ it for. An’ that’s all.—An’ anyway, I don’t care.

–An’ that’s the important thing, Jimmy Sr told Veronica.

Veronica didn’t look convinced.

–Sure look, said Jimmy Sr.—The O’Neill young ones have had kids, the both o’ them. An’—an’ the Bells would be the same ’cept they don’t have a

–Dawn O’Neill had her baby for Paddy Bell, Sharon reminded him.

–She did o’ course, said Jimmy Sr.

He stood up.

–So there now, Veronica, he said.—Fuck the neighbours.

Veronica tried to look as if she’d been won over. She wanted to go up to bed. She nodded.

Jimmy Sr had a nice idea.

–Are yeh comin’ for a drink, Sharon?

–No thanks, Daddy. I’ll stay in tonigh’.

–Ah, go on.

–Alrigh’, Sharon smiled.

–Good girl. Yeh may as well—Veronica?

–’M?—Ah no, no thanks.

–Go on.

–No. I’m goin’ up to bed.

–I’d go up with yeh only I’ve a throat on me.

Veronica smiled.

–You’re sure now? said Jimmy Sr.

–Yep, said Veronica.

Sharon went for her jacket.

–Will I bring yeh home a few chips? Jimmy Sr asked Veronica.

–I’ll be asleep.

–Fair enough.

Jimmy Sr stopped at the front door and roared back to Veronica.

–Cheerio now, Gra

Then he laughed, and slammed the door harder than Jimmy Jr had.

Jimmy Sr came back with the drinks and sat in beside Sharon. He hated the tables up here, in the lounge. You couldn’t get your legs in under them. Sharon couldn’t either. She sat side-saddle.

–Thanks a lot, Daddy, said Sharon when she’d poured the Coke in with the vodka.

–Ah, no problem, said Jimmy Sr.

He’d never had a drink with Sharon before. He watched his pint settling, something he never did when he was downstairs in the bar. He only came up here on Sundays, and now.

He turned to Sharon and spoke softly.

–When’s it due an’ a

–November.

Jimmy Sr did a few quick sums in his head.

–You’re three months gone.

–No. Nearly.

–Yeh should’ve told us earlier.

–I know.—I was scared to.

–Ah, Sharon,—I still think you should tell us who the da is.

–You can think away then.

Jimmy Sr couldn’t help gri

–I thought your mammy took it very well, he said.

–Yeah, Sharon agreed.—She was great.

–Cos she’s a bit ol’ fashioned like tha’. Set in her ways.

–Yeah. No, she was great. So were you.

–Ah, now.

They said nothing after that for a bit. Jimmy Sr could think of nothing else to say. He looked around him: kids and yuppies. He sat there, feeling far from home. The lads would all be downstairs by now. Jimmy Sr had a good one he’d heard in work for them, about a harelip in a sperm-bank. He loved Sharon but, if the last five minutes were anything to go by, she was shocking drinking company.

He noticed Jimmy Jr up at the stools with his pals.

–There’s Jimmy, he said.

–Yeah, said Sharon.

–That’s an awful lookin’ shower he hangs around with.

–They’re alrigh’.

–The haircuts on them, look.

–That’s only the fashion these days. Leave them alone.

–I s’pose so, said Jimmy Sr.

And they stopped again.

There was only an hour to closing time but Jimmy Sr wasn’t sure he’d be able to stick it.

–Wha’ does Jimmy be doin’ up there when he’s shoutin’, yeh know, abou’ bein’ all over Ireland? he asked Sharon.

–He wants to be a D.J.

–A wha’?

–A D.J. A disc jockey.

–Wha’; like Larry Gogan?

–Yeah. Sort of.

–Jaysis, said Jimmy Sr.

He’d had enough.

He’d spotted a gang of Sharon’s friends over past Jimmy Jr and his pals.

–There’s those friends o’ yours, Sharon, he said.

Sharon knew what he was at.

–Oh yeah, she said.

–D’yeh want to go over to them?

–I don’t mind.

–They’d be better company than your oul’ fella a

–Ah no.

–Go on. Yeh may as well go over. I don’t mind.

–I can’t leave you on your own.

–Ah sure, said Jimmy Sr.—I can go down an’ see if there’s a

Sharon gri

–Ah, there’s no need, Daddy.

–There is o’ course, said Jimmy Sr.

He moved in closer to her.

–It’s not every day yeh find ou’ you’re goin’ to be a granda.

He’d just thought of that now and he had to stop himself from letting his eyes water. He often did things like that, gave away pounds and fivers or said nice things; little things that made him like himself.

He patted Sharon’s shoulder. He was standing up, but he stopped.

–Hang on a sec, he said.—I’ll wait till your man passes.

Sharon looked.

–Who?

–Burgess there, the bollix. Excuse me, Sharon. I can’t stand him.

–I’ve seen yeh talkin’ to him loads o’ times.

–He traps me. An’ Darren’s his goalie this year. He’d drop him if I got snotty with him.

–Oh. Yeah.

–It’s alrigh’ now, said Jimmy Sr, and he stood up again.—The coast’s clear. See yeh later.

Jimmy Sr trotted out, and down to the lads in the bar.

Sharon took her vodka and her jacket and her bag and went across to Jackie O’Keefe, Mary Curran and Yvo

–Hiyis, she said when she got there.

–Oh, howyeh, Sharon.

–Hiyeh, Sharon.

–Howyeh, Sharon.

–Hiyis, said Sharon.

–Put your bag over here, Sharon, look, said Yvo

–Thanks, said Sharon.—Hiyeh, Jackie. Haven’t seen yeh in ages.

–She’s been busy, said Mary.

Yvo

–How’s Greg? Sharon asked Jackie.

Yvo

–Fuck off, you, said Jackie.—He’s grand, Sharon.

–They’re goin’ on their holliers together, Mary told Sharon.

–Dirty bitch, said Yvo

They laughed.

–Fuck off, will yeh, said Jackie.—We’re not goin’ for definite.

She explained.

–He mightn’t be able to take the time off.

–Yeh see, Sharon, said Yvo

–Fuck off, Burgess, said Jackie, but she was gri

–Where’re yeh goin’? Sharon asked Jackie.

–Rimini. In Italy.

–Lovely.

–Yeah.

–Yeh can go for a swim with the Pope, said Yvo

They laughed.

–Cos there’ll be fuck all else to do there, Yvo

–She’s just jealous, said Mary.

–Of wha’? said Yvo

Mary changed the subject.

–A

–No, said Sharon.—Not really.

Sharon told no one else yet.