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Audie's breath was coming fast and shallow and her fingers gripped the doorframe. She felt her feet edging backward into the hallway.
"Da and my mother had much more than that, so I know what's possible. I saw it. I saw laughter. I saw-"
Qui
"I saw them touch each other a lot, even though that's not exactly normal with Irish couples-but it was a small house. All us boys knew what was going on. He loved her so much, right up to-" Qui
"They had pride in what they'd created together-children, home, friends, memories, a place in the world where they'd come together to make a life. That's more than tolerating, Audie. That's love. I saw it every day as a kid, and I know it's not a load of shit or a fantasy. It's real. It can be real."
"I wouldn't know." Her heart felt as if it would burst in her chest. Her mouth was dry. Her hands were shaking.
"You've just got to have faith."
"I wouldn't know about that, either."
Qui
"Faith is believing in something when there's no possible way to guarantee it. Like believing that Kiley will get to live a full life. Like believing you and I are together for a reason. Faith is taking a chance, Audie."
"No, Qui
Audie was trembling. She brought her arms tight around herself to stay steady. "I'm sorry," she said again.
It was painfully quiet for a moment. Then Qui
Her jaw fell. Her arms collapsed to her sides. "Excuse me?"
It was then that Qui
Qui
"Did any of the others ask you to marry them?" he whispered. "Or was I the only one? Is it more difficult because I love you? Does that make things harder at all for you, Audie? I'm curious about that."
"What in hell are you talking about?" Even as she said it, she knew what was coming next. She'd walked right into it!
"The green and slimy problem, sweet thing." He leaned forward and Audie watched him dangle his beautiful arms over bent knees. "Nobody ever ran from you-did you think I wouldn't figure that out? I'm a cop, for God's sake!" He let go with a harsh laugh. "You were the one who ran, Homey. You ran from the green and slimy and hairy thing with eleven eyeballs that lives in your heart and makes you afraid of love-afraid of life. And your mother put it there."
Her feet were shuffling backward into the hallway. She was blind with the need to get out of Qui
But he sprang out of the bed, and Audie watched in horror as Qui
"Do you think I'm letting you off the hook?" He flashed a brief but lascivious, grin before he frowned at her. "Do you think I'm the kind of man who falls in love just for the hell of it? Do you think I'd tell a woman I love her because I've got nothing better to do that day? Would it surprise you to know that I've never said that to another woman in my life? Not Laura? Not anybody?"
He stepped closer.
"How about if I told you that I'm convinced you're the right woman for me? That you're my shot at getting what my parents had?"
She took several additional steps backward, but he followed her.
"I'm talking to you, Miss Adams." He was so close, she could feel the heat pulsing off his naked body. "And I deserve an answer."
"I warned you, Qui
Audie closed her eyes and willed herself to go numb inside. All she needed was the presence of mind to get through the next few moments and she could put this behind her. She told herself it was just like soccer-you see the shot in your mind's eye;you kick; you score; you're done.
"I can't love you, Qui
He nodded. "So it was just for sex?"
She gasped. She gawked at him. How dare he say that? How dare he stand there all smug with his lips curled up like that? She abruptly closed her mouth and squared her shoulders. If that's the way he wanted to do this, fine.
"Yes. It was just for sex. I'll be leaving now."
Qui
"What the hell are you-"
He picked her up, twisted her around in his arms, and brought his mouth down on hers, hard and hungry and hot. He held her against him with one big arm locked around her waist while the other hand cradled the back of her head. He walked forward until her back thudded against the wall.
She struggled to turn her face away, but he had her pi
The first picture that fell off the wall was the one of John in his Cub Scout uniform. Qui
The walls were shaking as Qui
"Was it just for sex?" he rasped between thrusts.
"No… no!" She could barely form the words. "I like you! I really do… but… I don't love you… I don't know how."
Qui
He cupped her bottom with one of his big hands and let the other roam down to where their bodies joined. She was pulled so tight around him, stretched so thin.
He felt her shake and heard her whimper as he ran his finger along the hot velvet rim of her, then moved up to the top of her sex to let his finger spin loops around her clitoris. He knew exactly where she was desperate for his touch, but he merely circled, letting his fingertips slide everywhere but where she needed it most.