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It reminds me that were all co
Rick paused. Im not saying I do any of this perfectly, but I do it.
I understand, she said softly.
You do?
Yes. Its your way of balancing out the damage youve done to yourself and others.
Rick smiled. You do understand.
Josie took a giant breath. Rick felt her rib cage expand under his embrace.
That was a big sigh. Want to tell me what youre thinking?
She turned in his arms, and when her eyes met his, he was immediately flooded with relief. Josie still wanted him. It was written all over her pretty face. She was going to give him a second chance.
Ive been so afraid I was falling for you too fast, that I was repeating my same old pattern, getting all ga-ga for a guy before I even knew who he was.
Rick nodded.
But now I know this isnt the same thing at all, she said, laughing uncomfortably.
No? Rick smiled.
Nopeits worse. Youve just laid out your messed-up life in a high-def, big-screen, surround-sound kind of way, and here I am, falling harder and faster than I did with all those other guys combined!
Oh. Rick lowered his forehead to hers and he held her there, waiting for her breathing to slow. At least you know exactly what youre getting with me, he said.
Ha.
Rick tucked his fingertip under Josies chin and tilted her face. He kissed her. It felt like a first kiss, tentative and sweet and full of hope. Maybe, Rick thought, thats exactly what it wastheir first real, true, intimate kiss.
When their lips separated, Rick asked, Do you want to try this with me?
Do you want to see where our relationship goes?
Yeah, I do. Josies gaze was steady. Do you?
More than anything.
Then thats what well do, she said, giving him a cautious smile. Well follow your formulawe wont hurt one another, well be honest and kind, and well keep our thoughts positive.
He hugged her close.
I cant meditate worth shit, though, she mumbled into his chest.
Well work on that together, he said.
He held her for a long time, all the while thinking, /This is one extraordinary woman./ In the silence of his heart, in the morning sunshine, Rick was grateful for Josie Sheehan and second chances.
Hed covered a lot of ground in a short time. New York, Pe
He ate his tuna salad on white from the corner restaurant while his clothes went around and around in the dryer. He couldnt help but notice the young girl at the opposite end of the laundry, alternately watching /Judge Judy/ and staring at him. She looked to be just barely out of high school. Too thin. Dirty blond hair parted in the middle. A top that barely covered the bottom of her small breasts and a pair of jeans that barely covered the crevice of her behind. It was scandalous the way young women dressed these days. When he was a young man, one could only see this much flesh at the beach, in the pages of /Playboy/ magazine, or, if fortunate enough, in the privacy of ones own bed.
Like what you see? We could go to your car.
Be
I am not interested, he said, looking away.
Her laugh was hoarse, which made sense because her skin and clothingwhat little she woresmelled like the Marlboro Man after a month on the range.
How do you know youre not interested unless you see what youre missing?
She brought her hands to the bottom of her skimpy top, threatening to expose herself.
Be
Oh, come on, old man. Cant get it up anymore? Maybe you just havent been with the right girl As soon as her hand touched his upper arm, he swung open the dryer door, which knocked her away.
Watch it, asshole.
Be
I was going to give it to you for twenty-five, she said from behind him.
Be
Change your mind, daddy? The smirk on her face was repugnant.
I had a daughter your age once, he said, feeling dizzy now, hearing his voice waver. Her good-for-nothing boyfriend got her pregnant and then he killed her.
The girls brown eyes squinted and she took a step away from him. Hey, dont freak out on me, grandpa.
Is that what you want for yourself?
She laughed uncomfortably. All I want is twenty-five bucks.
Did you get your diploma?
She blew air out of her lips. What are you, a truant officer or something?
Just how young are you?
Her smirk returned. How young do you want me to be?
The sadness Be
Where are your parents? he asked.
Fuck off.
Be
CHAPTER 14
This had better be good, Roxie said, standing over Bea with her arms crossed over her chest.
Bea pursed her lips. You wont be disappointed. Sit down, both of you.
Ginger rearranged several stacks of newspapers on Beas desk and made a spot for her latte. Roxie grabbed a chair from one of the sportswriters desks but had to brush off what looked like tortilla chip dust before she took a seat.
We could get in serious trouble for doing private research at the paper, Ginger said, lowering her voice even though the sports department was empty save for the three of them. You know theyre looking for even the tiniest reason to dump us all.
Whats your point? Bea asked.
My point is I hope this doesnt take too long because I have to be somewhere at ten.
Roxie and Bea waited for her to elaborate.
Its nothing. Just a consultation, Ginger said.
Roxies mouth fell open. /Another/ one?
Ginger replied calmly, Lets see how principled you are when its /you/ going through early menopause.
Youre not going through menopause, Bea said, shaking her head and clicking away at the keyboard of her desktop. How many hundreds of people have to tell you that before you believe it?
Ginger made a noise in the back of her throat that conveyed how insulting she found that remark.
Well, its true, Bea said, looking over the tops of the eyeglasses she wore at the computer. Weve gone over this before.
At least a dozen times, Roxie said.
Bea removed her glasses and let them dangle from a chain around her neck. None of your doctorsnot your family physician or your gynecologist or your psychiatrist Psych/ologist,/ Ginger said. Theres a distinct difference.
Okay then, Bea said. Your /shrink/none of these people think youre going through menopause, early or otherwise. You told us they said you have none of the physical symptoms that come with the change of life and that youre a woman in her prime.