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Until I know for sure, though, I’m concentrating on the only other lead I have… Manuel’s mysterious “Steve,” which all too coincidentally turns out to be the name of Doug Winer’s brother. If he knows something about Lindsay’s death, I’ll be able to tell… at least I hope so.
If I don’t get thrown out for being a fat chick, first.
20
Like Michael and his Jesus Juice
Like OJ and his glove
We just fit together
My true dysfunctional love.
“We Fit”
Written by Heather Wells
Never having been to a frat party before, it’s sort of hard to figure out what to wear to one. I understand sluttitude is in order. But to what degree? Plus, it’s cold outside. So do I really want to venture out in pantyhose and a mini? Is a mini even appropriate on a woman of my age, not to mention one with as many thigh dimples as I seem to have developed recently?
And it’s not like I even have anybody I can ask. I can’t call Patty, because then she’ll remember I never gave Frank an answer about the gig at Joe’s, and Magda’s no help at all. When I call and ask her if I should wear a mini, she just says, “Of course.” And when I ask if I should wear a sweater with it, she explodes, “Sweater? Of course not! Don’t you have anything mesh? What about leopard print?”
I settle for a black mini that fits a little snug, but with a diaphanous (though not mesh) top from Betsey Johnson, you can’t see the little bulge my belly makes as it hangs over the skirt’s waistband in spite of my control-top pantyhose. I throw on a pair of ski
A few spritzes of Beyoncé’s latest—hey, I know it’s wrong to wear a rival pop star’s signature scent, but unlike Tania’s (or Britney’s), Beyoncé’s actually smells good… like fruit cocktail, yum—and I’m ready to go.
I just don’t anticipate ru
Seriously. Why me? I mean, I sneak all the way downstairs—making it safely past the other two men in my life without either of them suspecting a thing, Dad in his room tootling his flute, and Cooper in his room doing whatever it is he does in there after dark, which God only knows what that is, but I think it must involve headphones because I don’t see how he could stand doing whatever it is while listening to whatever it is Dad is playing—and out the front door, only to encounter a freakishly bundled-up Sasquatch-like figure trying to figure out how to climb the stoop with cross-country skis on.
“Heather?” Sasquatch squints up at me in the light spilling from the door I’ve just opened. “Oh, thank God it’s you.”
Even though his voice is muffled because of all the scarves he’s wrapped around his neck and face, I recognize it.
“Jordan.” I hasten to close and lock the front door behind me, then make my way carefully down the steps—not an easy feat in three-inch spiked heels, given the ice. “What are you doing here? Are those… skis?”
“You wouldn’t return my calls.” Jordan lowers the scarves so I can see his mouth, then raises the ski goggles that were hiding his eyes. “I really need to talk to you. And Dad’s got the limo, and none of the car services can get over the bridges, and there were no cabs. So I had to ski down Fifth Avenue to get here.”
I stare at him. “Jordan,” I say, “you could have taken the subway.”
His eyes widen in the light streaming down from the street lamp overhead. “The subway? This time of night? Heather, there are muggers.”
I shake my head. It’s finally stopped snowing, but it’s still bitterly cold. My legs are already frozen, with just a thin layer of nylon to protect them.
“Jordan,” I say impatiently, “what do you want?”
“I… I’m getting married day after tomorrow,” Jordan says.
“Yes,” I say. “You are. I hope you didn’t come all the way down here to remind me about it and to beg me to come to your wedding. Because I’m still not going.”
“No,” Jordan says. It’s hard to tell in the streetlight, but he looks a little peaked. “Heather. I’m getting married day after tomorrow.”
“I know,” I say. Then, all at once, I realize what he’s doing there.
Also that he’s drunk.
“Oh, no.” I show him the flat of my gloved palm. “No. You are not doing this to me now. I don’t have time for this, Jordan. I have to meet someone.”
“Who?” Jordan’s eyes look moist. “You do look kinda… dressed up. Heather… do you have a boyfriend?”
“God!” I can’t believe this. Fortunately my voice doesn’t carry very far along the street. The two feet of snow blanketing the tops of all the parked cars—not to mention the clouds, hanging so low that they’re reflecting the light of the city with a pinkish hue—muffle it. “Jordan, if you changed your mind about marrying her, tell her, not me. I don’t care what you do. We broke up, remember?You broke up with me, as a matter of fact. For her.”
“People make mistakes,” Jordan murmurs.
“No, Jordan,” I say. “Our breaking up wasn’t a mistake. We needed to break up. We were right to break up. We don’t belong together.”
“But I still love you,” Jordan insists.
“Of course you do,” I say. “The same way I love you. Like a sibling. That’s why we had to break up, Jordan. Because siblings aren’t supposed to—you know. It’s gross.”
“It wasn’t gross that night we did it up there,” he says, nodding toward Cooper’s front door.
“Oh, right,” I say sarcastically. “That’s why you ran so fast when we were done. Because it wasn’t gross.”
“It wasn’t,” Jordan insists. “Well… maybe it was weird. A little.”
“Exactly,” I say. “Jordan, you only want to be with me because I’m familiar. It’s easy. We were together so long… we grew up together, practically. But that’s not a good reason for two people to stay together. There has to be passion. And we don’t have that. Whereas I think you and Tania do.”
“Yeah.” Jordan looks bitter. “She’s chock-full of passion, all right. I can barely keep up.”
This is so not what you want to hear about your ex’s new girlfriend. Even if you DO think of him as a brother. Mostly.
“Well, ski on back uptown,” I say, “and take an aspirin and go to bed. You’ll feel better about things in the morning, I promise.”
“Where are you going?” Jordan asks mournfully.
“I have to go to a party,” I say, opening my purse to make sure I’ve brought my lipstick and my new can of pepper spray. Check, and check.
“What do you mean,have to?” Jordan wants to know, skiing beside me as I carefully pick my way along the sidewalk. “What’s it for, work or something?”
“Something like that,” I say.
“Oh.” Jordan skis with me until we reach the corner, where a traffic light blinks forlornly along a trafficless street. Not even Reggie is out in weather like this. The wind from the park whips around us, making me reconsider this entire venture, and wish I were in my tub with the latest Nora Roberts instead of out on this empty street corner with my ex.
“Well,” he says finally. “Okay, then. ’Bye.”
“’Bye, Jordan,” I say, relieved that he’s finally going away.
As he skis slowly off toward Fifth Avenue, I start across the park, bitterly regretting my decision not to wear jeans. True, I wouldn’t look as alluring. But I’d be a heck of a lot warmer.
Getting across the park is murder. I no longer admire the beauty of the new-fallen snow. The paths are plowed, but not well, and new snow has covered them. My boots aren’t waterproof, being designed primarily for indoor use, preferably in front of a roaring fire on a bearskin rug. At least, that’s what the girl in the catalog was doing in the picture. I knew I should have ventured over to the gazillion shoe stores on Eighth Street instead of ordering them online. But it’s so much safer to order online. There’s no Krispy Kreme sign blinking HOT NOW on my computer.