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Although I sort of wish I had said something now, since Marie went on to say, “I don’t care who she marries, as long as he’s a nice Catholic boy! I have nothing against this Mark of hers, but he’s, you know. Not one of us .”
Oh, dear. I don’t think Marie is going to be very happy when she gets Holly and Mark’s telegram telling her they’ve gotten married.
And Mark is such a nice boy, too. It’s such a shame.
Well, I hope you arrived safely. Be careful of pickpockets in Rome. I hear they like to careen past tourists on Vespas through those little narrow streets and snatch handbags and cameras right off by the shoulder strap! So be sure not to wear your shoulder strap slung across your body or you could be dragged to your death.
Love,
Mom
PS Love to The Dude!
PPS What is Mark’s friend like? Is he nice? I’m sure he must be, if he’s a friend of Mark’s!
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To: Mark Levine
Fr: Ruth Levine
Re: Hello!
Hi, sweetie! I know you’re off to Europe today with your little friends, but I just wanted you to know that last night we had di
In any case, Lottie gave me Susie’s email to pass along to you. It’s [email protected] /* */ You really ought to drop her a line, Mark. Dottie showed me a picture. Susie’s grown into a real beauty, and lost every bit of her baby fat (Dottie says because she does Pilates three times a week and hasn’t touched a carb in three years).
Hope you’re having fun! Don’t forget to wear a sweater in the evenings. I understand it can get chilly there at night.
Love,
Mom
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To: Ruth Levine
Fr: Mark Levine
Re: Hello!
Ma. Stop trying to fix me up with other women. I am in love with Holly. Got it? HOLLY.
Mark
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To: Holly Caputo
Fr: Inge Schumacher
Re: Greetings!
I am understand you will have arrived today! This is perfect. I am making your uncle’s house, Villa Beccacia, a home for you. All is ready except the towels which dry on line. I am understand three rooms beds to be made. You arrive by car tomorrow afternoon? You will call me at Villa Beccacia and I will greet you on the autobahn to show you way to villa.
I am hoping you do not mind, my great-grandson Peter visits me on school holiday during your stay. He is good boy, and drives each morning on his motorino to fetch the brotchen for you. Tschuss!
Inge Schumacher
Villa Beccacia
Castelfidardo, Marche
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To: Cal Langdon
Fr: Tara Samuels
Re: Travel Services
Success! I’ve booked you a seat to Rome on the 6P .M. flight today. I’m SO sorry about the confusion, and to make up for it, we managed to upgrade you to first class. Enjoy your flight!
Tara
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To: Claire Harris
Fr: Jane Harris >
Re: You
Hi, Mom! I’m writing this to you from an Italian taxi cab! We’re on the way from the airport to the hotel where we’re staying for the night before going on to Holly’s uncle’s villa in the morning. Holly made the paper give us Blackberries for emergency use. I can see why they gave one to Holly, because she’s the art director, so her job is actually important. But ME??? I’m a freelancer, I don’t even really work there anymore. But Holly talked them into it. Isn’t that cool? Of course we have to give them back when we get home. But whatever.
It is so… different here. I mean, I’m only in the cab, but already, it looks way different from home. All of the billboards are in Italian! Well, I mean, I know you’d expect that, but I mean, REALLY in Italian. Like there are no recognizably English words AT ALL.
And all of the buildings have these roll-down metal shutters, painted in all these bright colors, to keep out the sun, because I guess it can get really hot, and no one has air-conditioning.
And there are window boxes EVERYWHERE, with CASCADES of red and pink and blue flowers frothing down them. It’s so pretty!
And everywhere you look are these fu
I really don’t think you have to worry about my bag getting snatched, Mom. The only people I see on Vespas here are fashionably dressed, ski
I’m so tired, I can’t type anymore. I can’t WAIT to get to the hotel so I can crash. I need a shower in the WORST way.
Love to Dad. Tell him to keep wearing those gloves.
Janie
PS The Dude was fine when I left him. Julio, the super’s son, is going to look in on him every day after school. I bought him some special tuna Pounce for a treat. For The Dude. Not Julio.
J
PPS Mark’s friend is NOT a nice guy. He’s totally awful! His name is Cal Langdon and he’s some hotshot reporter who thinks he’s all that. He doesn’t believe in marriage and thinks Mark is making a huge mistake. I don’t know how I’m going to survive a whole week in his company. HE’S NEVER HEARD OF WONDERCAT.
J
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To: Julio Chasez >
Fr: Jane Harris >
Re: The Dude
Hi, Julio! It’s me, Jane! I realize I’ve only been gone a day, but I just wanted to make sure everything is all right. You know, with The Dude. I know how he can get. Just make sure he gets two cans of fresh food a day (one before you leave for school, and one before you go to bed) PLUS dry food and fresh water, and he should be fine.
Be sure to wear the oven mitts if you have to touch him! And whatever you do, DON’T give him any catnip!
Thank you SO MUCH for taking care of him for me. You are the BEST!
Love,
Jane
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To: Jane Harris >
Fr: Holly Caputo
Re: His Mother
Can you believe it? He got an email from his freaking mother about some girl from his hometown who lives in NY now. I’m going to lose it.
Holly
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To: Holly Caputo
Fr: Jane Harris >
Re: His Mother