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Travel Diary of Jane Harris
Travel Diary of Holly Caputo and Mark Levine
Jane Harris
Oh my God. He lied. It’s totally true, what Mark told Holly about Cal’s—
Travel Diary of Holly Caputo and Mark Levine
Jane Harris
Poor Frau Schumacher. She’s going to have a LOT of sheets to wash when we leave. I think we’ve done it in every bedroom at least once.
Oh well. I suppose she’s used to hard work, considering all the time she put in over at the Fuhrer’s place.
Travel Diary of Holly Caputo and Mark Levine
Jane Harris
Even Cal admits that Nutella on strawberries, washed down with champagne, makes a lovely midnight snack.
Travel Diary of Holly Caputo and Mark Levine
Jane Harris
Must write fast, as he’s downstairs, getting more strawberries.
He loves me! At least as much as I—I can’t believe I’m admitting this—love him. YES! It’s true! I love him! I could shout it from the rooftop: I LOVE HIM!
And I don’t think that’s the phenylethylanamine talking, either.
Endorphins? Definitely.
Oh, my God. I love Cal Langdon. CAL LANGDON.
And you know, really, the only reason he doesn’t like ER is that he’s never seen it. It turns out they don’t have ER in Libya or wherever it is he’s been all these years. I’m sure he’ll come around as soon as he’s caught up with everything that’s happening at County.
I showed him my Wondercat sketch book, too, and he laughed at my most recent cartoon. Cal Langdon LAUGHED. At one of my cartoons!!!! And called me a comic genius!
Which I already knew. But it was nice to hear it from him.
Oops, here he comes. I promised I’d stop writing about him in here.
For now.
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e-mails
To: Arthur Pendergast
Fr: Cal Langdon
Re: The Book
Hey, Arthur. I was thinking. How would you feel if my second book was on Le Marche? In case you don’t know, Le Marche is one of Italy’s lesser-known regions, filled with breathtaking vistas of ancient castles atop rolling picturesque hillsides, shady olive groves, curved white beaches, delicious seafood, and earthy but delicate wines like the Verdicchio, considered among the finest of thevini da meditazione.
This is a region in which family-run businesses thrive. It’s a nearly self-sufficient area that many countries—for instance, those formerly dependent on the exportation of oil—might do well to emulate.
I’m thinking about renting a place here for a few months with my girlfriend to do some research. You might have heard of her— Jane Harris? She’s the creator of Wondercat , that hilarious comic strip about the cat. I’m sure you’ve read it.
Anyway, let me know what you think.
Cal
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To: Cal Langdon
Fr: Arthur Pendergast
Re: The Book
Le Marche? What the hell are you talking about? No one’s ever heard of Le Marche. Who the hell is going to buy a book about some place they never heard of?
Let me tell you something: if Sweeping Sands wasn’t Number 2 on the Times Bestseller list right now, I’d tell you what you can do with Le Marche.
But as it is….
Go with God.
Arthur Pendergast
Senior Editor
Rawlings Press
1418 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10019
212-555-8764
PS Girlfriend? Since when do you have a girlfriend? I thought you were monogaphobic.
PPS What the hell is a Wondercat?
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To: Listserv >
Fr: Peter Schumacher >
Re: JANE HARRIS
Listen up, kids! You are not believing what is happening! JANE HARRIS, creator of our beloved Wundercat, is STAYING here in Le Marche! Yes! At least, this is what she tells me today when I come in the morning to bring the brotchen.
Actually, JANE HARRIS does not come to the door this morning when I bring the brotchen. JANE HARRIS does not come downstairs until very late this afternoon to get the brotchen. And then she is looking very tired. But very good, as usual!
And Cal Longdon, who comes to the door with JANE HARRIS, asks if I know any houses to rent in Le Marche, because he wants to write a book about us! US!!!
YES! Because Le Marche RULES!!!!
And JANE HARRIS says she thinks she had better stay in Le Marche, too, to help Cal Longdon write his very important book about US!!!!
And when I ask her what I know you are thinking—“WHAT ABOUT WUNDERCAT?” she says, “Oh, I can draw Wondercat anywhere.”
YES!!!! JANE HARRIS IS MOVING TO ITALY! AND YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST. Courtesy of me, #1 Wundercat Fan Of All Time!
Wundercat Lives—4eva!
Peter
Private to A
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To: Jane Harris >
Fr: Claire Harris
Re: Your phone call
Honey, I’m just writing because last night when you called, I could have sworn you said you were staying in Italy. With Cal Langdon. Permanently.
Daddy says I must have dreamed the whole thing. But I don’t think I would have dreamt the part where you said if your Wondercat development deal ends up going through, of course Cal will move back to New York with you, because the two of you are in a committed relationship and fully support one another in your careers.
That’s just not the kind of thing I usually dream about.
And another thing: this morning when I was at the Kroger Sav-On to buy some more Band-Aids for Dad (he put a nail through his thumb hanging up another watercolor from his sister—I wish she’d take up a new hobby), I ran into Marie Caputo, who asked me—with, I must admit, a smile I didn’t care for—how it felt to be gaining a son. Gaining a son? What is she talking about, sweetheart? She can’t have meant you and that Cal Langdon, can she? Are you two getting married? Does Holly know something I don’t know, and maybe told her mother?
How can you marry Cal Langdon, honey? Last time I talked to you, you said you hated him. And that he wouldn’t stop looking at your shoes.
None of this makes any sense to me. I don’t think you ought to be staying in Italy with—much less marrying—someone you’ve only known for a week.
I hope Marie misunderstood. In fact, I’m SURE she must have. You’ve always been such a sensible girl.
Besides, what about Malcolm, that nice investment banker you’ve been seeing?
Daddy’s right, and that phone call last night must have been just a dream. Because you would never move to Italy without The Dude.
Oh, wait, I asked you that last night, didn’t I? And you said you were going to pay your super’s son to bring The Dude to you there….
But that can’t be right. You would never do anything so silly.
Well, ignore me. Hope you have a nice time on the rest of your trip.
And try to be nice to that Cal Langdon. I’m sure he can’t help being in love with you. And you always did have very pretty feet.
Love,
Mom