Body of Evidence

Tears filled Je

“I didn’t want you to intrude in my bubble of happiness, Evan,” she said, “break it, that bubble, and now you have and we’re yelling at each other and…I don’t want anything from you. Nothing. I don’t intend to make demands on you because I’m having your baby. You can set up a college fund for him if you want to, if that will ease your conscience, but you don’t have to pretend that you’re thrilled to pieces to have found out you’re going to be a father.”

Evan felt as though he’d been punched…hard…in the solar plexus, making it difficult to breathe.

I don’t want any anything from you. Nothing.

Je

Je

He had to, somehow, before the very essence of who he was was shattered into a million pieces. Je

But what about his child? His son, or daughter? Dear God, he was going to be a father, wanted to be there for the same things Je

“I can’t…I can’t take this all in at once,” Evan said, leaning his head on the top of the chair and staring at the ceiling. “It’s a lot to digest, to get used to.”

“Oh, believe me, I know that. When I first discovered I was pregnant, I told the doctor I went to in California four times that she had made a mistake. I was in complete denial, then I moved to terrified, then angry at myself, and you, for what we did that night, then finally…finally it came. The peace, the joy, the anticipation, the bubble of pure happiness.”

“That I just burst.”

“Well, it was going to happen eventually.” Je

“I know,” he said, his voice hushed. “I’m sorry I lashed out at you before, asked you if you intended to ever tell me.”

“Evan, look,” Je

“I realize that it would be easier for you if I wasn’t around all the time, but I have to continue to be with you to film the documentary. We’re going to have to work together until the trial is over.

“It will be difficult, maybe even impossible, but do you think we could just put the existence of the baby in a special place and not address the issue, not discuss it or anything until after the trial? I don’t want this pregnancy to be the cause of your not being able to concentrate fully on what you must do to be victorious in that courtroom, or be unable to have a clear mind when you focus on the baby.”

“I could try, I suppose,” he said, lifting his head. “Heaven knows I need every ounce of mental energy I have to present the prosecution’s case.” He nodded. “What you’re saying is logical and wise. Whether or not I can do it remains to be seen.”

“I understand.”

“I care about you, Je

“Yes,” she whispered, feeling the ache of fresh tears in her throat.

Evan was being so kind, she thought. Kind. What a bland word. People were kind to old ladies who needed help crossing the street, kind to a puppy with a burr in its paw, kind to the person who needed a door opened for them because their arms were full of packages.

But they didn’t love that old lady, that puppy, that person. They were just there, allowing a momentary surge of kindness to rise to the fore. That’s what Evan had to offer her…kindness. It was better than his earlier anger, but still…

What was she to do with her feelings for him? The kernel of love for him within her that was steadily growing? How did she snuff it out, make certain that it no longer existed, didn’t have the power to cause her pain beyond measure? How did a woman stop falling in love with a man such as this one?

She didn’t know.

But somehow, somehow, that’s exactly what she was going to have to do.

“Je

“Yes?”

“Will you be all right if I leave you here on your own?” Evan said, getting to his feet. “I…um…I need some time alone to… But I’ll stay if you feel dizzy or-”

“No, I’m fine,” Je

“And I want you to go to the doctor.”

“I will. I promise.”

“And I promise you that I’ll work very hard at focusing on the Gardner case…for now.” Evan paused. “Well, if you’re sure you’re okay, I’ll shove off. Don’t get up. I’ll let myself out.” He strode across the room to the door.

“Evan,” Je

Don’t go, her mind screamed. Don’t leave me alone. I want you here, with me. I need you, Evan. If you love me even a little bit, and I allowed the love I have for you to grow, nurtured it, we could have it all, don’t you see? A future together. You, me, our baby. We’d be a family. Husband, wife, child… Oh, Evan, please? I…

“Yes?” Evan said. “What is it, Je

She drew a shaky breath, then dashed away an errant tear that spilled onto one cheek.

“Nothing,” she said.

Evan stared at her for a long moment, then left the apartment, closing the door behind him with a quiet click.

Chapter 5

L ate the next afternoon Je

Maybe she’d wait until tomorrow, she thought, to put the “we’re going to have to work together until the trial is over” bit into motion. Yes, that was a good idea. She and Evan had had a very emotional confrontation yesterday and a little time and distance would…

No, she was just postponing the inevitable and the longer she put it off, the more nervous she would become. It would be better to just march right in there and ask Evan if anything had transpired during his day that she needed to know about for the film.

Right, Je

Je

“Evan?” Je

“In here, Je

Just as Je