Simply Magic

“Susa

“But of course,” Susa

“And yet Lila and I will be here over the holiday, as well as Claudia, to look after the girls who will remain,” Eleanor said.

“But I have no wish to go,” Susa

They talked for a few minutes longer until Eleanor got to her feet and declared cheerfully that she needed her sleep if she was to survive another day as a schoolteacher. Lila left with her. Susa

“Something in that letter upset you more than a simple invitation to spend Christmas would have done,” she said. “Do you wish to talk about it, Susa

Susa

“I ca

“And it is too close to Sidley Park,” Claudia said. It was not a question.

“Yes.” Susa

They sat in silence for a few moments. Viscount Whitleaf’s name had not been spoken between them since the afternoon when Susa

“Is it perhaps necessary that you go back?” Claudia asked, breaking the silence. “Now that the past has been raked up again, whether you wished it to be or not, ought you perhaps to put it properly to rest this time?”

Susa

“There were letters,” she said. “I did not tell you that after my visit to Laura Place, did I? My father wrote two before he died-one to Sir Charles Markham and one to me. They are both still in a safe at Fincham. Theodore asked Lady Markham to inform me that he will send me mine if I wish, but that he strongly recommends that I go to Fincham to see both letters and to speak with him.”

“Oh, Susa

“I do not want to see it,” Susa

Claudia stared at her and raised her eyebrows.

“I know why he killed himself,” Susa

There. She had never said it aloud before. She had tried not even to think it-that one person could wield such emotional power over another, and that the other could not find the strength of character or will to fight back. She had seen them together. She had heard them. She knew. She had always known.

Her father had left her, abandoned her forever, because he had not been able to live without the love of a cruel woman who did not care the snap of two fingers for him-and those had been the viscountess’s own words.

It was no wonder Susa

“Oh, Susa

“You can see now why I want nothing to do with any of it,” Susa

Claudia sighed. “Why do we persist in believing that we can control our lives provided we work hard and live decently and mind our own business?” she said. “You really do not deserve any of this now. You did not deserve any of it when you were twelve either. But here you are stuck with it.”

“No, I am not,” Susa

“Except,” Claudia said, “that the sunshine has gone out of you, Susa

They stared at each other.

“Perhaps no one else has even noticed,” Claudia continued. “You are as energetic and as cheerful and as busy as ever. You smile and laugh as much as you ever did. But I have known you a long time, and I love you as if you were my younger sister-and I know that the sun has stopped shining in your life.”

Susa

“All I need is time,” she said. “I will prove that a broken heart can mend, Claudia, and that life is always worth living. I need a little more time, that is all.”

It was pointless, she supposed, to deny to Claudia-or herself-that her heart was broken. Sometimes she found herself wondering if she would find the strength to refuse that marriage offer if it were made now. It was a good thing there was no danger of any such thing happening. All other considerations aside-and there were many of them-she could never marry the son of Viscountess Whitleaf.

“I am about to offer some unwanted advice,” Claudia said, “something schoolteachers excel at, alas. Accept your invitation. Go to Fincham Manor for Christmas. Hear what Sir Theodore Markham has to say. Read your letter-and the other one too if he renews his offer to show it to you. Know the truth in your father’s own words-know it from Sir Theodore’s point of view. You already believe you know the worst, and so nothing can come as a terrible shock to you. See the place you fled eleven years ago and lay some ghosts to rest. As for Viscount Whitleaf and his mother-see them too if you will and if the opportunity presents itself, or avoid seeing them if you so choose. But deal with it all, Susa

“I feel,” Susa

“But your letter this morning exposed the wound again,” Claudia pointed out. “For how long will it fester, Susa

“I could have Theodore send the letter here,” Susa

“You could, yes,” Claudia agreed. It seemed that she would say more, but she closed her mouth.

“It is late,” Susa

“I am indeed,” Claudia said, getting to her feet. “And now I suspect I have doomed you to a sleepless night, Susa