Simply Love

Was she never to hear anything better from him? Was she now to be rushed into marriage because it was necessary and forever feel cheated of some of the trappings of courtship?

“A

He brought her hand to his lips, but not before seeing her eyes grow huge with unshed tears. She bent over him, and he felt her free hand light against the top of his head.

“I will,” she said. “I will always do my best to bring you comfort and companionship, Sydnam, and I will be the best mother I can possibly be to your child-to our child.”

He got to his feet and drew her against him. She turned her head and rested it against his left shoulder, her hands nestled between them, spread over his chest.

He wished then that he had two arms to wrap about her, to hold her close, to enclose her in the safety of his protection. And he wished he had two eyes to see her with. And he wished…

But he was alive. He had learned to cope with the changed conditions of his life. And now he was to have a wife and companion. There would be a child for the nursery at Ty Gwyn soon after they moved in there. He could begin to think of his life in terms of the plural-my wife and daughter, or son, and me. He had somehow been thinking of the child as female. He was going to have a daughter. Or a son.

He must not dwell upon the fact that he had no right arm and no right eye-that he could never offer A

He must give what he could-the protection of his name, his friendship, loyalty, kindness, and affection. And perhaps in time…

She lifted her head and gazed into his face.

“It will be all right,” he told her. “Everything will be all right.”

“Yes.”

Her lips curved into a smile, and he knew she was having similar thoughts to his-that this ought not to be happening but was, and all they could do was make the best of it.

Their prospects were not utterly bleak. They liked each other-he knew she liked him. He was in love with her. Perhaps he even loved her.

They had the rest of their lifetimes to work on the sort of warm marital relationship he had always dreamed of.

“A

She shook her head.

“Until you came,” she said, “I did not know what I would tell him.”

“I will support him and care for him and educate him and love him as if he were my own,” he assured her. “I will give him my name if you wish, A

“I do not know what he will feel,” she said. “He longs for a father figure in his life. But…” She bit her lip again.

But his longing was for a whole and perfect man, like Hallmere or Rosthorn or any of the Bedwyn men.

“Shall we summon him now,” he asked her, “and tell him together? Or would you rather talk to him alone first?”

She drew a deep breath and released it slowly.

“I’ll go and fetch him,” she said. “Tomorrow his life will change drastically. He needs to know as soon as possible, and he needs to meet you face-to-face.”

His heart plummeted as soon as she left the room. Tomorrow his life will change. All three of their lives would change tomorrow. And they would be changed irrevocably and forever. It was not just he and A

And who could blame him if he did not? What child would choose a one-eyed, one-armed father whom most children and even some adults feared as a monster?

Choices.

He and A

Only time would tell if they had been changed for the better or the worse. Not that it would matter. They could only continue to walk the path of their lives to the very end, and for now at least their paths had converged.

It was Saturday again, the sun was shining, and it was a relatively warm day for October. But though the boarders at Miss Martin’s school and a few of the day pupils too were out in the meadow playing games as usual, it was Lila Walton who was supervising them rather than Susa

Susa

“There,” she said, standing back at last to view the results of her handiwork. “Now you look fit to be a bride.”

A

Claudia was standing silently just inside the door, her hands clasped at her waist.

“A

It was a foolish question, of course. When one was with child and the father was due to arrive in five minutes’ time to marry one, it really did not matter if one was sure or not.

“I am,” she said.

“He was so very, very handsome,” Claudia said with a sigh.

“He still is.” A

“You told me,” Susa

“Because they do not matter,” A

“I am looking forward to meeting him,” Susa

But Claudia turned at that moment and opened the door upon which Keeble was about to knock.

“They are downstairs,” he a

“Thank you, Mr. Keeble.” She smiled at him, though her heart felt as if it were lodged somewhere in the soles of her slippers.

Sydnam had arrived with the clergyman who was to marry them. The wedding was going to be solemnized in Claudia’s private sitting room, the visitors’ parlor having been rejected as too gloomy.

It was her wedding day-her wedding day-yet she felt nothing but a heavy heart. She was fond of him, and he was fond of her, but they had not intended to marry, and it seemed somehow worse to be marrying Sydnam than someone of whom she was not fond at all-foolish thought.

She should be able to offer him everything, but she did not believe she had anything but her fondness to give.

And he should be able to offer her everything. But he had never spoken of love. He had twice offered marriage, yesterday in a touchingly romantic way, but both times it had been from duty rather than inclination. It would have to be enough, though. He was a gentle, kindly man. He would take his responsibilities seriously.

Ah, but a bride should feel very differently on her wedding day, she thought wistfully.

“I’ll go up and fetch David,” she said.

“Let me go,” Susa

“No.” A

Keeble had disappeared, though his squeaky boots could still be heard descending the stairs.

She hugged them both quickly and climbed the stairs to the small room next to Matron’s that had always been David’s. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, wearing his best clothes, his hair carefully combed.