Kissing Sin

"Would you prefer the good or the bad news first?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Hit me with the bad." Might as well know the worst first.

"There's no easy way to put this, so I'll say it straight out. Indications are that within a year or so, your body will fully imitate a vampire's in that you will neither be fertile nor be able to carry a child."

I simply stared at him. Deep down, I guess I'd always expected something like this would happen. Rhoan might be more vampire in his makeup than wolf, but we were fraternal twins, sharing the same father if not the same seed. Yet I'd always hoped that because past tests had indicated the werewolf gene was stronger in me, I'd be able to have a child. Or would at least be able to turn to some form of IVF when all else failed. Now even that was snatched from me, and I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry.

Though right now, both were looking good.

"The good news," he continued, as if he hadn't noticed me sitting there in a lump of misery, "is that the experimental drug you were given has actually achieved its aim. Young woman, your cycle has finally kicked into gear, and you are actually menstruating for the first time in your life."

I stared at him for several long minutes. "No, I'm not."

He smiled. "Yes, you are. If the results we got back were any indication, you should have had your first period six days ago."

Six days ago I'd been barely alive. "I can't remember."

He raised his eyebrows at that, but didn't question. He knew I was Directorate. Knew some things just had to be accepted without question. He clasped his hands in front of him. "Of course, given that you are no longer taking the drug, I would envisage the effects will not last very-long. A last burst, perhaps, before infertility."

I blinked, and suddenly his words hit me. Ohmygod. I could have kids. I was fertile, however briefly. I felt like screaming. Dancing. Ru

"Of course," he said, his voice full of a ster

I didn't care if I had to be hospitalized the whole nine months. Not if it meant having a child at the end of it. I shifted on my seat, and had to resist the impulse to ring Rhoan and tell him the news. God, he'd be over the moon!

"And," the doctor continued, "because you have such a narrow margin of fertility and will need to ensure maximum opportunity for pregnancy, you will have to watch your body's chemical and physical changes, and ensure the sexual act occurs during hours of peak receptiveness."

"And the monitoring involves… ?"

"These days, it involves nothing more tedious than wearing a small monitor under your skin. It'll tingle softly to warn you when a peak has been reached."

I nodded, and wondered if I was gri

"Remember though, that even this machine ca

"I have a chance, Doc. That's all I wanted."

He nodded. "Then you wish to have the monitor implanted immediately?"

I opened my mouth to say, "Yes, of course," but the words froze somewhere in my throat as his earlier words hit me. The experimental drug you were given has actually achieved its aim. The same experimental drug that had changed the very cell structure of past half-breed recipients. The same drug that, even now, could be changing my body in unknown ways.

Oh, fuck.

I closed my eyes, and rubbed them wearily. "I need to think about all this," I said slowly. "As much as I want to rush into having a kid, there are other considerations."

He nodded. "Just remember that it is a small window, and time is of the essence if you wish to attempt conception."

Like I didn't know that. I stood. "I just need a little time to think about it."

He studied me for a moment, eyes full of understanding. "I'll be here until at least nine-thirty tonight. Ring me if you come to a decision or want to discuss things further. Other than that, we'll make your next appointment for tomorrow, same time. Will twenty-four hours be enough?"

Twenty-four hours to decide whether or not I should risk following a long held dream? God, no. But I nodded, and left, and was in such a daze that the elevator ride back down to the ground didn't even stir my usually fragile stomach.

The doors opened, and Qui

My laugh was shaky. "Yeah. Just got some wonderful news."

He frowned. "Then why are you as white as a sheet and shaking?"

"I'm scared of tall buildings, remember?"

"I remember. But I also know you're lying." He hesitated, his dark gaze boring into mine, as if trying to reach my soul. "There was a time you trusted me."

I still trusted him. I just needed to think about things first, before I told anyone. But I couldn't think here. Couldn't decide here. I rubbed my hand across my eyes again. They burned, as if filled with unshed tears. "Can you drop the questions and just drive me to Mt. Macedon?"

The elevators doors tried to close. Qui

"Because I have a decision to make, and I think better when I'm ru

He stared at me a minute longer, then his grip tightened on my elbow, and he led me out of the building.

The strength of the sun was waning into dusk, and the wind carried the chill of the storm predicted to hit later this evening. I glanced up, watching the clouds race across the pink tinted sky. The wolf within me hoped it did rain, because there was nothing more refreshing, more isolating, and more primordial than racing the thunder of a storm through rain-lashed trees.

We climbed into the car and headed for Mt. Macedon. Qui

The rain began to splatter across the windshield as we entered the Mt. Macedon township. Qui

"Go on," I said. "I don't care if it rains. Besides, I'm a wolf. We don't feel the cold."

"Werewolves mightn't, but you do."

He had a good memory. I'd only mentioned that once, in passing. "Maybe. But right now, I need to run more than I need to keep warm."

He nodded, and continued on up the mountain. We entered the park, and stopped in the bays closest to the trees. There were maybe a dozen other cars here, and most of those were parked up near the Old Tea Rooms restaurant. I climbed out. The wind tore at my dress and hair, touching my skin with chill reminders of the winter just passed. I shivered, and glanced across the roof of the car at Qui

"Be careful," was all he said.

I nodded, then stripped off my clothes, placing them in the car before calling to the wildness within. In wolf form, I headed for the trees, and just kept on ru

I ran for hours. Ran until my limbs were begi