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"But," I asked, puzzled, "how do you know about the Macro potential?"
"Because, dear and old friend, another cell of my soul is presently experiencing a life in 2150, which you so often visit. Yet another is deeply involved in establishing the separate culture on Micro Island. It needs to experience power and practice using it properly. By 2085 it will be dead, though," he went on.
"Wait a minute!" I stopped him. "You're here in 1976. You haven't made it to 2000 yet, much less beyond."
"No, Azar. It's you who have not yet gone beyond. I guess you've not yet truly incorporated the concept of simultaneous time into your growth pattern.
"Incidentally, I picked up from your mind your plan of attempting to prevent my evolation, which I am not going to let you do. I appreciated your help last time, but this time I don't want it."
"You mean that you don't want to live any more, and are choosing to die?"
"That's right," he answered. "And you'll find quite a few other minds in this hospital who are ready to give up their bodies."
"But why?" I asked. "You've only lived a relatively short time. You must have a family who will miss you."
Telepathically I heard him laugh and say, "When I incarnated, 45 years ago, I promised myself that I would accomplish my purpose as quickly as possible and then evolate. I've already stayed longer than I had pla
"May I ask what your purpose was?" I inquired.
"I wanted to balance my vibrations. First I chose to be born to a woman who, in my twenty-first-century life, I will probably marry and abandon. In this life as her son I treated her kindly and have taken care of her for the last twenty years since her husband died. Six months ago she followed him."
"How can you balance negative vibrations you won't even create till fifty years in the future?" I wondered if his mind was deteriorating too.
"You will find, Azar, that the past, present, and future are all micro terms-illusions which do not exist from a Macro view. All time is simultaneous.
"Getting on with my answer to your first question, I was a jealous, possessive wife and made my husband's life a living hell. Now for twenty-five years I have been married to a woman who has done the same for me. My two children are grown and married and I leave my wife financially well off; so now I can evolate, having completed my chosen learning experience."
"But now that you've accomplished your purpose," I said, "why don't you stay around awhile and enjoy life?"
Again the sound of his laughter echoed through my mind and he said, "I go to a far better place than this planet Earth will ever be! I invite you to visit me when you perfect your astral traveling enough that you can visit some of the non-physical dimensions. 'Bye for now!"
Bruno's body convulsed; his lids snapped sharply open. Only the after-death tremors lingered. He had evolated. My whole being felt an instant of icy hollowness as I saw, staring up at me from his lifeless face, Nancy's liquid brown eyes.
Later in 2150 Rana explained that every human mind chooses when it wants to die. This choice, she explained, is not usually made, on the conscious level, but rather on the subconscious or soul level.
During the rest of the week I discovered that Bruno had been correct when he predicted that many other minds would refuse my offer to help heal their bodies. I was surprised at how many minds insisted on the value of suffering.
I remember a middle-aged woman who was seriously afflicted with arthritis. When I offered my help her subconscious mind replied, "Please don't remove my pain, for it is the motivation that will eventually force my micro self to give up its narrow selfish life habits which have psychologically crippled others and which are now crippling me. If you remove the pain I will have to start my lesson over, and I'd rather grow now."
I realized that this woman had never consciously permitted herself to be aware of these thoughts. If she could have heard her subconscious mind talking to me, she would have denied that this was her own greater self talking. When I asked her if she couldn't learn is some less painful way she replied, "I have not yet learned to accept responsibility for the harm I've done to others, so I keep taking the same old life lessons over and over. Eventually the pain will force me to break this "it's not my fault" cycle. Then I can admit my failure, forgive it, learn from it, and overcome it. It's been a long battle, but victory will come."
When I asked Rana about having to forgive yourself she explained forgiveness as acceptance. She said that when you forgive yourself you positively accept your mistakes and, thus, can learn to succeed and grow from them. However, negative acceptance, resignation, leaves one burdened with guilt until it becomes necessary to escape by inducing amnesia. It is then impossible not to make the same mistake over and over again.
She was talking about the law of love which transcends the law of karma. Only by completely responding to ourselves with loving acceptance can we look at all the aspects of the self, which includes not only the micro self, but also the Macro self. And we can only see in others what we see in ourselves (even if only in potential) and we can only love (accept) others to the extent that we love (accept) ourselves.
It wasn't until I had examined every person in our university hospital that I accepted Rana's statement that "all illness and injury is self-inflicted."
I discovered that I could heal no one unless I could first persuade them to forgive themselves. Yet, I did find quite a few patients who were ready to forgive themselves. All of these healed in record time, causing considerable consternation among hospital perso
Human consternation, I have found, is always the result of a myth being threatened.
Since I had brought my journal up to date, Karl and Neda were becoming increasingly concerned about my forthcoming visit to Micro Island. Karl kept quoting passages that strengthened his warnings about the dangers involved, and I kept quoting passages that strengthened my resolve to go. Neda insisted that I would succeed and that there was no reason to worry about me. Finally it was obvious even to Neda that her constant assurances that I would succeed were an unfailing indication that she feared the opposite.
Fortunately, Griff and Judd visited us regularly and kept her occupied. Both were sincerely trying to live a new style of life. They had quit. their motorcycle gang and had taken jobs, Judd at an auto repair shop and Griff with a construction company. They were deeply interested in my further experiences in 2150.
At last the week ended and early one morning Carol and I said goodbye to our Alpha, our Beta, and most of our Gamma and began our run to the building at the end of the lake. As we passed each Gamma I saw more people than I had ever seen before in 2150, for almost everyone had turned out to send both vocal and telepathic messages of support to us.
As we approached the large administration building we could see the rest of our Delta gathered around our transair. I was moved by the tremendous outpouring of loving acceptance that many Macro beings could produce. As we made our way to the vehicle I saw standing beside it Rana, Eli, and my beloved Lea.
I ran to embrace Lea. We stood in complete silence with no one in the crowd making a sound as we fitted our minds into a union that only twin souls can ever attain. To me she was the most exquisitely lovely, completely satisfying woman who had ever lived. Overcome by my feelings and with tears on my face I kissed her gently. Then taking my face in her hands, she kissed me. It was the most enlightening kiss my soul had known since incarnating in matter.
Then Lea turned, touched Carol's face, and disappeared into the crowd. I shook hands with Hugo, our Delta, and Eli, our Ktar. I remembered seeing him when I met my Alpha members, then in his astral body as he visited his Kton, but I still had not spent further time with him, as I had longed to do. I was convinced that I had never beheld such a handsome and wise-looking man before. He took my hands, then embraced me firmly. He looked deep into my eyes for a long time and said, "You never asked, so, at Rana's request, no one ever told you, but the woman who has been your P.E. tutor is also our Mutar. She is, thus, a member of the Council of Three."