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The next three days were some of the most frustrating I've ever experienced. It seems that my two captives had headaches most of the time, which made them angry, which gave them headaches, which made them angry, which gave them more headaches, and so on. In their frustrated rage they tried to attack me a number of times and, of course, ended up just hurting themselves. They even burned their hands on the door a couple more times.
At first I was astonished, at the amount of pain they were willing to put up with rather than learn the simple lessons I had given them. Finally, I realized that a lifetime habit of ru
Of course, if they hadn't been so angry at their inability to escape they would have learned much faster. But, as Rana had once explained, all anger is self-anger caused by calling something bad and then feeling inadequate to change the "bad" or "undesirable" situation. She had continued saying that since micro man usually refuses to accept responsibility for his unpleasant experiences, he unconsciously projects the blame onto others. Then he feels justified in projecting his self-anger and self-hate upon others, too. Since these denial-of-reality techniques work temporarily, and micro man forgets they are only temporary, this type of behavior continues to become an even stronger habit until it is extremely difficult to change.
This pernicious "it's not my fault" cycle was what I was seeing in Griff and Judd.
Looking at my own life, I could see this pattern repeated over and over again. I not only had my present life to examine but a number of past lives, too, which all bore out the same lesson: All my problems were self-caused due to my refusal to accept this Macro truth: All learning is based on remembering (accepting) the learning value of one's own mistakes.
Once more the ancient truth: He who forgets his past is doomed to repeat it.
Karl had warned me at the end of the first day that I had better be able to live by the same conditions I forced on my captives. I had assured him that I was perfectly willing to experience a headache any time I gave in to the micro habit of anger. I had-felt confident that from my larger perspective it would be impossible for me to get angry. What I didn't realize was that all dissatisfaction produces some anger. In other words, to the extent that I saw anything as being more bad than good I felt anger, and by the second day I was experiencing headaches of my own.
I had realized that from the Macro perspective everything is both bad and good, ugly and beautiful, failure and success. But I hadn't realized how inadequate I was to actually practice seeing both sides of the coin, or the balanced Macro view. I, who had devised what I thought was a brilliant scheme for motivating my captives to learn how to think more positively, was now caught in my own device. By the end of the third day we were ru
Fortunately, things got better on the fourth day. This was caused by a number of things, but an important factor was Neda. When Neda saw how miserable I was on the third evening she begged Karl and me to let her visit Griff and Judd, taking with her the typed pages of this journal. Both Karl and I opposed this but Neda insisted that anything they did to harm her would reflect right back to themselves instead, so she couldn't get hurt.
I argued that it was a chance I was just not willing to take. Unfortunately, arguing with Neda only made my headache worse, which made me think that maybe she was right. So I gave in-with the stipulation that I act as her guard.
While Karl held out longer, I could see that Neda's lovely persuasiveness was too much for him. She visited my captives with me as her guardian.
I had to ask Neda to open the door to their apartment for I was living my own sentence so completely that the door knob now burned my hands, too.
Neda proved so thoroughly charming that Griff and Judd were soon over their headaches. She managed to prolong her stay by begi
I suggested it was getting late, but it was only after Neda promised to come back the following day and finish reading the journal that they were willing to accept her departure.
The next day Neda spent almost six hours with Griff and Judd and still didn't finish reading this journal because they asked her so many questions about herself and about the changes that had taken place in her. I was surprised at how little skepticism they showed, although Neda got me to demonstrate some of the Macro powers for them. They were most impressed by my PK levitations in which I floated some sofa pillows around the room, and they remembered that I had healed the injuries I had inflicted on them. I had also healed their burned hands, at Neda's suggestion, and from then on we had no more problems with the door. They didn't approach it, and it didn't burn me any more.
By the end of the fourth day I was convinced that Neda was a tremendous help to me in getting through to Griff and Judd. I was still amazed at the great personality change in Neda. She was confident, outgoing, patient, kind, and most surprising of all, full of humor, joy, and laughter. When I asked about these psychological changes, she responded, "I'm the living, breathing proof to myself that your Macro philosophy of the future can overcome any problem."
"But knowing about Griff and Judd, aren't you afraid of them?" I asked.
Neda laughed. "As long as I can remember my past I can't imagine being too upset by anything in the future."
"Wait a minute," I interrupted. "How about being raped and murdered?"
She shook her head playfully, saying, "I'm sorry if my lack of fear worries you and Karl, but I'm not being foolhardy. I just believe in your Macro philosophy, which says that this is a perfectly just universe and we can experience only what we have chosen to experience. Everyone will eventually learn the truth that all is one. So in the long run, the future can only get better, more aware, and more loving. Nothing can happen to me except what I have chosen to grow from. So what is there to fear?"
"I still don't understand how you could have learned to practice this Macro view so quickly," I replied, shaking my-head.
"Didn't you tell me that all human problems are caused by resisting and fighting the inevitable changes in our lives?" she reminded.
"Yes," I answered. "However, I-"
"Then try to understand," she interrupted, "that I've had so many changes taking place in my life that I've learned to enjoy it."
"What if you're in an accident," I postulated, "and you lose that newly acquired physical beauty-could you accept that change?"
"Yes," she answered, "I think I could, because now I know-what it is-a vehicle; why I have it-we created it through your/our belief in a philosophy of oneness; and why I won't have it if it's taken from me-because I caused and chose it!
"I fully believe, Jon, that as long as I want this body I'll have it."
"That takes care of the beliefs, and it sounds like you have the desire too," I observed. "With those two you can have anything you want as long as you don't cancel it with a conflicting desire or belief."