Страница 12 из 13
"You see," she said, waving her hands vaguely, "them stones. . . the Dancers . . . see, in the old days . . . see, once upon a time. . ."
She stopped, and tried again to explain the essentially fractal nature of reality.
"Like . . . there's some places that're thi
"What They?"
"That's the whole trouble," said Na
Her son stared at her. Then a faint grin of realisation wandered across his face.
"Ah," he said. "I knows. I heard them wizards down in Ankh is always accidentally rippin' holes in this fabric o' reality they got down there, and you get them horrible things coming out o' the Dungeon Dimensions. Huge buggers with dozens o' eyeballs and more legs'n a Morris team." He gripped his No. 5 hammer. "Don't you worry. Mum. If they starts poppin' out here, we'll soon-"
"No, it ain't like that," said Na
Jason looked completely lost.
Na
"The Lords and Ladies," she said.
"Who're they?"
Na
Even so, she'd rather not.
"You know," she said. "The Fair Folk. The Gentry. The Shining Ones. The Star People. You know."
"What?"
Na
Jason's frown very gently cleared, at about the same speed as a sunrise.
"Them?" he said. "But aren't they nice and-?"
'"See?" said Na
"How much?" said Ridcully.
The coachman shrugged.
"Take it or leave it," he said.
"I'm sorry, sir," said Ponder Stibbons. "It's the only coach."
"Fifty dollars each is daylight robbery!"
"No," said the coachman patiently. "Daylight robbery," he said, in the authoritative tones of the experienced, "is when someone steps out into the road with an arrow pointing at us and then all his friends swings down from the rocks and trees and take away all our money and things. And then there's nighttime robbery, which is like daytime robbery except they set fire to the coach so's they can see what they're about. Twilight robbery, now, your basic twilight robbery is-"
"Are you saying," said Ridcully, "that getting robbed is included in the price?"
"Bandits' Guild," said the coachman. "Forty dollars per head, see. It's a kind of flat rate."
"What happens if we don't pay it?" said Ridcully.
"You end up flat."
The wizards went into a huddle.
"We've got a hundred and fifty dollars," said Ridcully. "We can't get any more out of the safe because the Bursar ate the key yesterday"
"Can I try an idea, sir?" said Ponder.
"All right."
Ponder gave the coachman a bright smile.
"Pets travel free?" he suggested.
"Oook?"
Na
The door was open.
"Cooee?"
Na
Gra
People had discovered her like this before, and it always caused embarrassment. So now she reassured visitors but tempted fate by always holding, in her rigid hands, a small handwritten sign which read:
I ATE'NT DEAD.
The window was propped open with a piece of wood.
"Ah," said Na
Esme's skill at Borrowing u
She went back down to the scullery and lowered a bucket down the well, remembering to fish the newts out this time before she boiled the kettle.
Then she watched the garden.
After a while a small shape flittered across it, heading for the upstairs window.
Na
Gra
Na
There was a large bat hanging upside down from a beam.
Gra
"Shove the po under it, will you, Gytha?" she mumbled. "They're a devil for excusing themselves on the carpet."
Na
"I brought you a cup of tea," she said.
"Good job, too. Mouth tastes of moths," said Gra
"Thought you did owls at night?" said Na
"Yeah, but you ends up for days trying to twist your head right round," said Gra
"Grass."
"Right."
"Find out anything?" said Na
"Half a dozen people have been going up there. Every full moon!" said Gra
"You done well there," said Na
"Got to be. They ain't using broomsticks."
Na
"There's Agnes Nitt, old Threepe
Gra
"I asked our Jason," she said. "Sorry."
The bat burped. Gra
"I'm a silly old fool, ain't I?" she said, after a while.
"No, no," said Na
"Prideful, that's what I am. Once upon a time I'd of thought of asking people, too, instead of fooling around being a bat."
"Our Jason wouldn't have told you. He only told me 'cos I would've made 'is life a living hell if he didn't," said Na
"I'm losing my touch, that's what it is. Getting old, Gytha."