Gunslinger

She walked to the table and hesitated there, uncertain.

“He could have made me not want it,” he said through the tears. “He could have done that if he could have made me be alive. I ain’t complaining … I don’t want to complain… “He stared around hauntedly and whispered, “He might strike me dead if I did.”

“Maybe it’s a joke. He seemed to have quite a sense of humor.”

Nort took his poke from where it dangled inside his shirt and brought out a handful of grass. Unthinkingly she knocked it away and then drew her hand back, horrified.

“I can’t help it, Allie, I can’t – “and he made a crippled dive for the poke. She could have stopped him, but she made no effort. She went back to lighting the lamps, tired although the evening had barely begun. But nobody came in that night except old man Ke

flames and the ice-chip brilliance of the sky. Allie watched them and felt a pang of fleeting despair for the sad times of the world. Things had stretched apart There was no glue at the center of things anymore. She had never seen the ocean, never would.

“If I had grits,” she murmured, “If I had guts, guts, guts…”

Nort raised his head at the sound of her voice and smiled emptily at her from hell. She had no guts. Only a bar and a scar.

The fire burned down rapidly and her customers came back in. She began to dose herself with the Star Whiskey, and by midnight she was blackly drunk.

VIII

She ceased her narrative, and when he made no immediate comment, she thought at first that the story had put him to sleep. She had begun to drowse herself when he asked: “That’s all?”

“Yes. That’s all. It’s very late.”

“Um.” He was rolling another cigarette.

“Don’t go getting your tobacco dandruff in my bed,” she told him, more sharply than she had intended.

“No.”

Silence again. The tip of his cigarette winked off and

on.

“You’ll be leaving in the morning,” she said dully.

“I should. I think he’s left a trap for me here.”

“Don’t go,” she said.

“We’ll see.”

He turned on his side away from her, but she was comforted. He would stay. She drowsed.

On the edge of sleep she thought again about the way Nort had addressed him, in that strange talk. She had not seen him express emotion before or since. Even his lovemaking had been a silent thing, and only at the last had his breathing roughened and then stopped for a minute. He was like something out of a fairytale or a myth, the last of his breed in a world that was writing the last page of its book. It didn’t matter. He would stay for a while. Tomorrow was time enough to think, or the day after that. She slept.

IX

In the morning she cooked him grits which he ate without comment. He shoveled them into his mouth without thinking about her, hardly seeing her. He knew he should go. Every minute he sat here the man in black was further away – probably into the desert by now. His path had been undeviatingly south.

“Do you have a map?” he asked suddenly, looking up.

“Of the town?” she laughed. “There isn’t enough of it to need a map.”

“No. Of what’s south of here.”

Her smile faded. “The desert. Just the desert. I thought you’d stay for a little.”

“What’s south of the desert?”

“How would T know? Nobody crosses it. Nobody’s tried since I was here.” She wiped her hands on her apron, got potholders, and dumped the tub of water she had been heating into the sink, where it splashed and steamed.

He got up.

“Where are you going?” She heard the shrill fear in her voice and hated it.

“To the stable. If anyone knows, the hostler will.” He

put his hands on her shoulders. The hands were warm. “And to arrange for my mule. If I’m going to be here, he should be taken care of. For when I leave.”

But not yet. She looked up at him. “But you watch that Ke

When he left she turned to the sink, feeling the hot, warm drift of her grateful tears.

X

Ke

The hostler met him halfway between the door to his establishment and the street. His ma

“It’s bein’ cared for,” he said, and before the gunslinger could reply, Ke

Soobie began to drag her bucket sullenly toward the shack appended to the barn.

“You meant my mule,” the gunslinger said.

“Yes, sir. Ain’t seen a mule in quite a time. Time was they used to grow up wild for want of ‘em, but the world has moved on. Ain’t seen nothin’ but a few oxen and the coach horses and. . . Soobie, I’ll whale you, ‘fore God!”

“I don’t bite,” the gunslinger said pleasantly.

Ke

She’s got a devil. She’s wild.” His eyes darkened. “It’s coming to Last Times, mister. You know how it says in the Book. Children won’t obey their parents, and a plague’ll be visited on the multitudes.”

The gunslinger nodded, then pointed south. “What’s out there?”

Ke

“How big is the desert?”

“Big.” Ke

“Sick? I heard he was dead.”

Ke

“But you believe in demons.”

Ke

The gunslinger took off his hat and wiped his forehead. The sun was hot, beating steadily. Ke

“You don’t know what’s after the desert?”

Ke

“Drivel,” the gunslinger said shortly.

“Sure it is.” Ke

“You see my mule is looked after.” He flicked Ke

another coin, which Ke

“Surely. You stayin’ a little?”