The Integral Trees

She had lost her home, her family, her friends; she was lost in the sky, cast among strangers. Copsik! How could he inflict such a decision on her now? Filthy treefeeding copsik!

The tears were drying on her face. At least no Triune Squad companion had seen her so shamed. It came to her that her tears had driven Alfin away…just as they had been her primary defense when she was fourteen.

But what could she do? She hadn't been quite fair to the old man. He had spoken a partial truth, one she'd already considered: marriage was the way into Qui

— And she found that she had made her decision after all.

Dared she sleep now? She must. The sun was a hand's breadth past Voy; and she curled up and slept.

When the sun neared Voy again, Minya woke. Some had the knack.

Minya could tell herself when to sleep and when to wake, and she would.

She flexed muscles without moving much. She was thirsty. There was restless motion around her. The Grad seemed to be having a nightmare.

She watched until he was quiet.

Alfin shook Gavving awake, then Merril. He settled down while Gayving disappeared to his post on the far side. Minya waited a little longer, for Jayan and Alfin to fall asleep.

Alfin clutched the bark with all his fingers and toes and, for all Minya could tell, his teeth. His face was pressed to the bark, denying the sky.

He'd never sleep that way; but he wouldn't see her either.

She uncurled and made her way to the edge of the bark. Merril watched her go. Minya waved and pulled herself around to the smooth side of the bark sheet.

Gavving saw her coming. He started moving away from her-to give her privacy? She called, "Wait! Gavving!"

He paused.

"Gavving, I want to talk to you."

"All right." But he was wary.

She didn't want that. "I don't have any weapons," she said, and then, "Oh. I'll prove it."

"You don't have to—"

She pulled her blouse over her head and moored it to the bark. She came closer, wishing for toeholds to let her walk upright. This crawling lacked the dignity she wanted. At least she'd shed the lumpy-pregnant look of the Triune Squad.

She said, "There are no pockets in my pants. You can see that. I want to tell you why I can't go back to Dalton-Qui

"Why?" He was trying to keep his eyes off her breasts, on her face. "I mean, I'm willing to listen. I've got a name for asking embarrassing questions." He tried to laugh it stuck in his throat. "But shouldn't everyone hear this?"

She shook her head. "They might have killed me, without you. Gayving, let me tell you about the Triune Squad."

"You told me. You're fighters, and you're all women, even the men."

"That's right. If a man wants to be a woman, or a woman doesn't ever want to be pregnant, she joins the Triune Squad. She can serve the tribe without making babies."

Gavving digested that. "If you don't want to make babies, they make you fight?"

"That's right. And it isn't just fighting. It's anything dangerous. This—" She pulled the rim of her pants down, and he shied, perhaps flinching at the scar. It ran half a meter from her short ribs past her hip. "Tip of a swordbird's tail. If my jet pod hadn't fired I would have been all over the sky."

She suddenly wondered if he might see it as a flaw, rather than a matter of pride. Too late…and better that he see it now than later.

He said, "Three of us fought a swordbird a few waketimes ago. Two came back."

"They're dangerous."

"So. You don't like men?"

"I didn't. Gavving, I was only fourteen."

He stared. "Why would a man bother a fourteen-year-old girl?"

She hadn't thought she could still laugh, but she did. "Maybe it was the way I looked. But they all…bothered me, and the only way out was the Triunes."

He waited.

"And now I'm twenty-two and I want to change my mind and I can 't. Nobody changes her mind once she's in the Triune Squad. I could be killed for even asking, and I did ask—" She caught her voice rising. This wasn't going as pla

He reached as if to pat her shoulder and changed his mind. "Don't worry about it. We can't move anyway. If we could, well, an empty tree would still be a better bet."

"And I want to make babies," she said and waited.

He must have understood. He didn't move. "With me? Why me?"

"Oh, treefodder, why can't you just…all right, who else? The Grad lives all in his head. Alfin's afraid of falling. Clave? I'm glad he's here, he's a good leader. But Clave's…type pushed me into the Triunes in the first place! He scares me, Gavving. I saw you kill Sal and Smitta, but you still don't scare me. I think you had to do that." She knew instantly that she'd said the wrong thing.

He started to tremble. "I didn't hate them. Minya, they were killing us! Without a word. They were your friends, weren't they?"

She nodded. "It's been a bad, bad waketime. But I'm not going back."

"All for a fan fungus."

"Gavving, don't turn me down. I…couldn't stand it."

"I'm not turning you down. I've just never done this before."

"Neither have I." She pulled her pants off, then didn't have a spike to tether them. Gavving saw the problem and gri

"I've watched," he confided.

"That's a relief. I never did." She reached to touch what his pants had covered. A man bad put his male member into her hand once, against her will, and it hadn't looked like this…except that it was changing before her eyes. Yes.

She had thought she could just let it happen. It wasn't like that. But she was used to using her feet as auxiliary hands, and thus she pulled him against her. She'd been warned against the pain; some of the Triunes had not joined while they were still virgins. She had known far worse.

Then Gavving seemed to go mad, as if he were trying to make two people one. She held him and let it happen…but now it was happening to her! She'd made this decision in the cool aftermath of disaster, but now it was changing her, yes she wanted them joined forever, she could pull them closer yet with her heels and her hands…no, they were coming apart…it was ending…ending.

When she had her breath back she said, "They never told me thaL"

Gavving heaved a vast sigh. "They told me. They were right. Hey, didn't you hurt?" He pulled away from her, a little, and looked down.

"There's blood. Not a lot."

"It hurt. I'm tough. Gavving, I was so afraid. I didn't want to die a virgin."

"Me too," he said soberly.

A hand shook the Grad's ankle and pulled him out of a nightmare.

"Uh! What…?"

"Grad. Can you think of any reason Gavving shouldn't make a baby with a woman?"

"What then, a musrum?" His head felt muzzy. He looked around.

"Who is it, the prisoner?"

Merril said, "Yes. Now, I don't see any reason to stop it, unless she's got something else in mind. I just want to keep an eye on them. But someone has to be on watch."

"Why me?"

"You were closest."

The Grad stretched. "Okay. You're on watch. I'll keep track of the prisoner."

Merril's glare lost out to a smile. "All right, that's fair."

The Grad heard voices as he poked his head around the edge of the bark. Gavving and Minya floated at the end of a tether, quite naked, talking. "A hundred and seventy-two of us," Minya was saying. "Twice as many as you?"

"About that."

"Enough to crowd the tuft, anyway. The Triune Squad isn't a punishment. It's a refuge. We shouldn't be having children any faster than we are. And I was good, you know. I fight like a demon."