Ramage's Devil

Ramage usually left the 'Remarkable Observations and Accidents' column empty, and the events of today, the first complete day after they had arrived and anchored, were so far unimportant, but if there was a court-martial the record might be important. He made an abbreviated entry:

'French pilot's canoe came within hail mid-afternoon inquiring number of déportés on board both frigates and intended for island. Told sixty-two and more due in third frigate. Told that Governor's orders are for both frigates and third when she arrives to remain at anchor in quarantine for six weeks after death or complete recovery of last case of cholera. Lieutenants Martin and Kenton returned on board until L'Espoir arrives. Ships' companies employed A.T.S.R.'

He hated the initials for 'As the Service required' but at this rate he would soon run out of space. There was no need to describe it as meaning scrubbing decks, setting up or replacing rigging and whippings, mending sails, and all the thousand and one jobs a sailor in a ship of war (or any ship for that matter) was heir to. And the sudden torrential rains that seemed to arrive out of a reasonably clear sky at three-hourly intervals meant that the quarterdeck awning was stretched with one corner dropped to catch water. If they could fill butts at the present rate each man would have something like a gallon of fresh water a day - something he had never experienced before. He could drink as much as he wanted; more important, he could rinse his clothes properly. Using the urine collected in the tubs in the head gave enough ammonia to bleach clothing, but rinsing in salt water always meant that everything dried only to get damp on a humid day.

It would soon be necessary to send a boat to the mainland one night: the purser was complaining that he had only nineteen wreaths of twigs left for the cook to light the galley fire, and there was precious little wood left. So a wooding party would have to be sent out. And green wood needed more twigs to get it burning ... Curious how pla

He looked at his watch. By now the Calypso's parties of men should be waiting on the lowerdeck. Wagstaffe had just arrived on board from La Robuste and Aitken, Kenton, Martin and Renwick would be ready. Very well, aux armes, citoyens.

It was hot down on the lowerdeck but eighty seamen and Marines stood to attention as Aitken barked an order when Ramage came down the ladder, once again wearing his French trousers and a white shirt - with a powerful glass it was possible for anyone on the hill of Île Royale to inspect the ship's deck, so neither Marines nor officers could wear anything but what would be usual on board a French ship of war. Ramage was delighted that his stockings, breeches and coat were back in the trunks, and Silkin was now busy stitching up white duck bought from the purser into shirts and trousers. It was not seemly, Silkin had complained, that the captain should be wearing trousers cobbled up from 'pusser's duck'.

Ramage looked round at all the faces and found most of them were gri

'Fall out the officers,' Ramage said, 'and all of you make yourselves comfortable.' Unaware of Sergeant Ferris's problem he added: 'I am going through all this once. Then if there's anything someone doesn't understand, ask questions.'

He looked round at the men again and said in level tones: 'What is the difference between an axe and a hammer? Let's say the head of each is a chunk of metal weighing eight pounds. If you hit a plank with the hammer, you get a dent. But if you hit a plank with an axe, you get a deep cut the length of the blade.

'Why a dent with one and a deep cut with the other? Well, you've already guessed that the hammer's eight pounds when it hits the plank is spread over an area of the head likely to be twice the size of a guinea. But the eight pounds of the axe is concentrated on the blade - say four inches long by less than the thickness of a sheet of very thin paper. That's why you use an axe to fell a tree, not a hammer. Obviously you wouldn't use an axe blade to drive in a nail, either; you want the energy spread out over the flat head.'

He looked round at the sailors. Yes, they understood the similes, even though they were puzzled why the captain was suddenly sermonizing like one of Mr Wesley's men.

'Now supposing you want to smash a plank of wood into kindling. You can have an eight-pound hammer or you can have an eight-pound axe - you have the choice. Or you can have eight one-pound axes or hammers.

'Supposing you were in a hurry: instead of an hour you had only five minutes to smash that plank into kindling. Wouldn't you be better off using your eight pounds of weight by chopping with eight one-pound axes rather than one axe weighing eight pounds?'

Several men immediately said yes, and the rest of them quickly muttered their agreement.

Ramage looked round and spotted Stafford. He pointed at the Cockney. 'Why would we be better with eight smaller axes, Stafford?'

'Well, sir, stands ter reason, du

'Exactly. For chopping down a tree...'

'Oh well, sir, the one big blade, o'course.'

'Good. You all notice I am talking of a plank and not the tree; if it was a tree we'd be using the big axe to chop in the same place; because it's a plank for kindling we use eight small axes chopping in several places.'

Most of the men were nodding, reminding Ramage of a flock of pigeons. This business of speaking to them in parables was, in this instance anyway, a good one. And anything that helped maintain some sort of discipline in the heat of battle was all to the good. He found it difficult to control himself in the roar, smoke, flame and shouting of battle afloat, so he could not blame the seamen for regarding action on board an enemy ship as a concentrated group of men fighting a series of hand-to-hand actions, cutlass against cutlass, boarding pike against pistol, tomahawk against musket. This was the hammer method, and usually it worked: the owner of any unfamiliar face was killed or taken prisoner.

'Very well, the "plank" we might be attacking using the several small axes method is, I hope, the French frigate L'Espoir when she arrives.'

From the satisfied 'Ahs' and the way that the men wriggled to make themselves more comfortable, as though settling in for a long session, Ramage knew that only a handful of men had thought that far ahead.

'Now, capturing L'Espoir - providing she arrives here and providing we are still here to meet her - is going to be the most difficult job we've ever undertaken. Not the most dangerous, just the most difficult. You saw how the "plague" trick worked, and you'll remember that Mr Orsini did a similar thing once in the Mediterranean. You were all with me when we dealt with the renegades at the Ilha Trinidade. But this time each of us will be fighting with one hand tied behind his back.