Illegal Alien

"You perform no actions that are not the will of your God?"

"The God."

"Pardon?" said Pe

"It is not acceptable to speak of God possessively."

"Sorry. You perform no actions that are not the will of the God?"

"By definition, such a thing would be impossible."

"Is there a devil in your religion?"

Mask’s translator beeped. "A — devil? The word is unfamiliar."

"In many Earth religions," said Frank, once again leaning against the wall, "there is a supremely good being, called God, and an adversary, who attempts to thwart God’s will. This adversary is called the devil."

"God is omnipotent," said Hask, looking briefly at Frank, then turning back to Pe

"Then there is no continuum of behavior?" asked the psychiatrist.

"I have encountered this concept repeatedly in human thought," said Hask.

"The idea that everything moves from one extreme on the left to another on the right, or that there are two equal ‘sides’ to every issue — using the word ‘sides’ in a way a Tosok never would." His topknot moved. "This is an alien way of thinking to me; I rather suspect it has something to do with the left-right symmetry of your bodies. You have a left hand and a right, and although each individual among you seems to favor one— Frank, I have noticed you favor your right, but Dale, you favor your left — in general, you seem to view the hands as equal. But we Tosoks have a front hand that is much stronger than our back hand; we have no concept — to use one of your words that does not translate fully — of what you call ‘evenhandedness.’ One perspective is always superior to the other; the front always takes precedence over the back. The aspect with the preponderance of power or weight is the side of God, and it always wins."

Frank smiled. Clete would have loved that kind of biology-based answer.

"Let me ask you some hypothetical questions," said Pe

"If I do it, God certainly must have observed it, and since she did not stop me, it must be acceptable."

"Is it all right to kill?"

"Obviously, God could prevent one from doing so if she wished; that she does not clearly means the killer must have been acting as her instrument."

Pe

"Define unacceptable."

"Unacceptable: acts that ca

"No."

"If you killed someone because he was trying to kill you, would that be acceptable?"

"If it happened, it is acceptable."

"If you killed someone because he was trying to steal from you, would that be acceptable?"

"If it happened, it is acceptable."

"If you killed someone because the joke they told was one you had already heard, would that be acceptable?"

"If it happened, it is acceptable."

"In our culture," said Pe

"There is no such thing as an immoral act."

"So, by the definition of the human race, are you insane?"

Hask considered this for a moment. "Unquestionably," he said at last.

Frank, Dale, and Dr. Pe

"We’re not going to sell that insanity defense, are we?" said Frank.

A couple of students passed them going the other way. Pe

"What about the self-defense approach?" asked Frank.

"Hask would have to admit to the crime before we could even begin to structure a defense based on that, and so far he’s refused to do so,’ said Dale.

"So what are we going to do?" asked Frank.

Dale paused again, as more students, plus one old fellow who must have been a prof, passed them. "If he continues to plead i

"The Simpson criminal strategy?" asked Frank.

Dale shrugged. "Basically."

"But what if we get a Hiroshi Fujisaki instead of a Lance Ito?" asked Frank.

"What if we don’t get the latitude to do that?"

Dale looked first at Pe

*14*

Linda Ziegler arrived at Valcour Hall late in the afternoon. She didn’t want to see the murder site again, nor did she want to speak to any of the Tosoks. Rather, she went straight to Packwood Smathers’s room. She knocked on his door, and he called out for whoever it was to come in.

"Hello, Dr. Smathers," she said, opening the door. "My name is Linda Ziegler, and I’m a deputy district attorney here in Los Angeles County."

Smathers was working at a desk mounted against one wall. He knit his bushy white eyebrows together. "I want legal counsel present."

Ziegler smiled her best, brightest smile. "Dr. Smathers, you’re not a suspect for anything. I understand you were treated unpleasantly by the police earlier, and on behalf of — well, on behalf of Americans in general — I apologize for that. I know you’re a visitor to our country, and I’m coming to you now for some help."

Smathers sounded dubious. "Help?"

"Yes, sir. We have a problem facing us in alien — well, I guess ‘alien physiology’ would be the right term, and I’m told you’re the top person in that field."

Like many an arrogant man, Smathers was apparently willing to be self-effacing so long as someone else was simultaneously singing his praises. "Well, as much as one can be — until recently, everything I’ve dealt with has been purely hypothetical, but, still, despite the way Calhoun twisted it on TV, so far I’ve seen nothing in the Tosoks that invalidates my basic work."

Ziegler moved fully into the room, taking the other chair. Smathers’s bed was a mess, but otherwise the room was well kept. "And — do forgive me, Professor; I freely admit I’m in over my head here — but what exactly was your basic work in this area?"

Smathers seemed to be warming slightly. "Well, simply, that all life-rorms, no matter where they’re from, must adhere to certain basic engineering principles in their fundamental body plan."

"Fundamental body plan?" said Ziegler.

Smathers nodded. "Our Tosok friends are vertebrates. Reduced to simplest terms, the Tosok body is a hollow tube, with an internal support structure, very much like our own." The Canadian paused. "I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but the Tosoks don’t like talking about the insides of bodies — it’s a taboo with them. It’s like us and nudity: it’s perfectly acceptable for a human to be seen nude by his doctor, but outside of that context, it takes on a completely different meaning. The Tosoks don’t show us their medical texts, nor will they look at ours. Stant — he’s the Tosok biologist — seems downright embarrassed by my curiosity about their i

Ziegler nodded.

"Anyway," said Smathers, "the Tosoks differ in several noticeable ways from the vertebrates of Earth. Our vertebrates have body parts that come either singly or in pairs: we have one heart, one liver, one spleen, one stomach, but two lungs, two kidneys, two eyes, two arms, two legs, and so on.

Because of the pairing of our body parts, we have bilateral symmetry."

Ziegler nodded. "Right," she said.