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The two braves entered. “We bring greetings from the tribes of the North,” said Paul. “We travel with speed of prairie wind to answer call of great white brother.”
“Hot moccasin,” Barry agreed, “we kid you not.”
“Quite so, gentlemen. Kindly be seated.” Espying the only chair, which was now occupied by Hovis, Paul and Barry lowered themselves cross-legged to the lino.
“We smoke many pipes, tell many tales,” said Paul hopefully. “Got plenty firewater in medicine bag.” He patted his designer briefcase with the buckskin fringes.
Inspectre Hovis shook his head firmly. “Smoke many pipes later, but for now, what news?”
“Much news.” Paul made expansive gestures. “Many wonders in Heavens and upon lands of the white-eyes. In Chiswick, they say, squaw give birth to papoose in shape of fish. Stars fall on Alabama, blue moon seen over Kentucky, famous TV personality named in ‘gay sex for sale’ scandal. Only last night, brother Barry see many strange things at sister’s ‘A
“Yes,” said Hovis, “such news troubles the heart of great white brother.” He tapped at his chest. “But is it not written that brave who beat about cactus and try pull buffalo hide over policeman’s eyes get banged up in the cells with much time to muse upon error of ways?”
“Point taken,” said Paul.
“So what news?”
“Much news,” Paul continued, “lorries you enquire about held up for an hour by traffic jam. Traffic jam caused by road-works in High Street. Road-works fracture gas main, all vehicles have to be abandoned while gas mains fixed for fear of explosion.”
“Yes,” said Hovis, “I know as much.”
“Ah,” said Paul, “but not know that it not Gas Board van that come out to fix leak.”
Hovis nodded thoughtfully. “Tell me more.”
“Look like Gas Board van,” Paul continued, “ID of driver seem genuine, driver spend much time chatting with policeman on duty at site while work done. But Gas Board deny all knowledge of either gas leak or call-out.”
Hovis nodded once more. “Very clever,” said he, “very clever, indeed.”
“Criminals cu
“Go on then.”
“And how,” said Paul. “Now come clever bit that earn braves big kudos. We follow great white brother’s method and have pow-wow with constable who on duty at roadworks. Tell him perhaps he make a big mistake and you wear his wedding tackle on watch-chain when you find out. Him eager to oblige and tell us all he know.”
“Very good indeed, go on.”
Paul gri
The Inspectre’s face fell. “Then it was a real Gas Board van after all!” he cried.
Paul shook his head, smirking mightily. “Nothing of sort,” said he. “Braves think things not add up so check with Gas Board again. Gas Board tells us they not own gasometer in Brentford, deny all knowledge. In fact, they tell us they never own gasometer in Brentford. There is no gasometer in Brentford.”
“What?” Inspectre Hovis scratched at his snowy pelt of hair. “But it’s there for all the world to see!”
“All world may see it, but it not bloody gasometer, that for certain.”
“Then what?”
“Braves suggest it headquarters of international crime syndicate.”
Inspectre Hovis wiped away the goodly amount of perspiration that now clung to his noble brow. “We get stuck into firewater now,” he said.
32
Omally was in a state of near exhaustion. Both mental and physical. He leant Marchant against Je
The front door opened on the chain and Je
Indeed, thought John, as she dropped the chain and reopened the door. “I’ve brought you some flowers.”
Je
He followed with some trepidation, giving the place a thorough scrutiny. Happily, of homicidal packages it was the nursery cupboard of Lafayette Ron’s mother. But it gave him little peace of mind. Something was wrong, although he couldn’t put a name to quite what.
“Do sit down.” Omally sat down. He watched Je
“Is everything all right?” John asked. “Can I help at all?”
Je
“You seem a little, well, lost.”
Je
“But of course, how ungallant of me.” Omally took himself over to the drinks cupboard, and extracted bottle and glasses with slow deliberation. Je
Je
“A social call,” John lied, “nothing more. It’s a while since I’ve seen you. Here, come and sit with me on the sofa.” He took Je
“As you please then.” John sat down before her and sipped his Scotch.
“Do you believe in God?” asked Je
Omally glanced over his glass. The emerald eyes fixed him in their stare. “I am a Catholic by birth,” he said slowly.
“You were nothing by birth other than man. Please answer the question.”
John took another sip of Scotch. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I wish to know.”
“Then in all candour I must confess to uncertainty.”
“Uncertainty as to a Divine Creator?”
“There are many doctrines, each claiming to be true, each at odds with the other. I was brought up to recognize one, to follow it without question. I asked questions but no-one furnished me with satisfactory answers. I do not know.”
“You lack knowledge.”
“As do we all, I fear. I exist, of that I am reasonably sure. You exist, what senses I possess inform me of the fact. Above and beyond are realms that greater minds than mine have floundered when seeking to explore.”
“The minds of men,” said Je