Bank Shot

“I haven’t checked. But those aren’t the only wheels in the world; they could have gotten wheels anywhere.”

Lieutenant Hepplewhite said, “Excuse me, Mr. Wallah.”

Wallah looked at him in amused surprise — probably at being called mister.

“The Army sergeant would like to talk to you.”

“Sure,” said Wallah. He took the phone from Hepplewhite, and they all watched him lift it to his face and say, “What’s happening, man?”

The captain turned resolutely away from the conversation, and while the lieutenant answered the other phone, which had suddenly started to ring, he said to Gelding, “Don’t you worry. It doesn’t matter how they did it, we’ll catch up with them. You can’t steal a whole bank and expect to get away with it.”

“I certainly hope not.”

“Sir?”

The captain turned a mistrustful eye on the lieutenant. “What now?”

“Sir, the bank had been resting on a foundation of concrete blocks. The officers on the scene have found tub caulking on top of the blocks.”

“Tub caulking on top of the blocks.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And they decided to report that.”

The lieutenant blinked. He was still holding the phone. Next to him, Gary Wallah was in conversation on the other phone with the Army sergeant. “Yes, sir,” the lieutenant said.

The captain nodded. He took a deep breath. “Tell them thank you,” he said in a soft voice and turned to Albert Docent, the safe-company man, who hadn’t as yet contributed anything. “Well, what good news do you have for me?” he said.

“They’ll have a hell of a time with that safe,” Docent said. Above the bow tie, his expression was clean-cut, dutiful and intelligent.

The captain’s left eye fluttered slightly, as though it might open. He nearly smiled. “Will they?” he said.

Gary Wallah said, “The sergeant wants to talk to one of you people.” He was offering the phone indiscriminately to both Captain Deemer and Lieutenant Hepplewhite.

“You take it, Lieutenant.”

“Yes, sir.”

Once again, they all watched and listened as Hepplewhite spoke with the sergeant. His part of the conversation was mostly “Uh huh” and “Is that right?” but his audience kept watching and listening anyway. Finally he finished and hung up and said, “It couldn’t be done by helicopter.”

The captain said, “They’re sure? Positive?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good,” said the captain. “Then they’re still on the Island, just like I said.” He turned back to Docent, the safe man. “You were saying?”

“I was saying,” Docent said, “that they’ll find that safe a tough nut to crack. It’s one of the most modern safes we make, with the latest advances in heat-resistant and shock-resistant metals. These are advances that come from research co

“Oh, wow,” said Gary Wallah.

Docent turned to him, firm but fair. “All I’m saying,” he said, “is that research has been stimulated into some —”

“Oh, wow. I mean, wow.”

“I’ve heard all your arguments, and I can’t say I entirely disagree with —”

“Wow, man.”

“At this time,” George Gelding said, standing at attention and looking very red-faced, “when some person or persons unknown have stolen a branch of the Capitalists’ and Immigrants’ Trust, and our brave boys are dying on far-flung battlefields to protect the rights of likes of you who —”

“Oh, wow.”

“Now, there’s much to be said on both sides, but the point —”

“I see those flaaaaag draped coffins, I hear the loved ones in their cottages and on the farms of America —”

“Like, really, wow.”

Captain Deemer glowered at them all through the remaining slit of his right eye. A bellowed shut up might attract their attention — all three were talking at the same time now — but did he want them to shut up? If they stopped arguing with one another, they’d just start talking to the captain again, and he wasn’t sure he wanted that.

In the middle of the melee the phone rang. Captain Deemer was aware of Lieutenant Hepplewhite answering it, but that didn’t have much interest for him, either. More tub caulking, he supposed, this time in the ears of his officers.

But then Hepplewhite shouted, “Somebody saw it!” and the argument stopped as though somebody had switched off a radio. Everybody — even the captain — stared at Hepplewhite, sitting there at the desk with the phone in his hand, gri

Gelding said, “Well? Well?”

“A bartender,” Hepplewhite said, “closing up for the night. He saw it go by, about quarter to two. Said it was going like hell. Said there was a cab off a big tractor-trailer rig pulling it.”

“Quarter to two?” the captain said. “Why the hell didn’t he report it till now?”

“Didn’t think anything of it. He lives in Queens, and they stopped him at a roadblock going through. That’s when he found out what happened and told them he’d seen it.”

“Where was this?”

“On Union Turnpike. They’ve got a roadblock set up there, and —”

“No,” Captain Deemer said. Patiently he said, “Where did he see the bank?”

“Oh. Up by Cold Spring.”

“Cold Spring, Cold Spring.” The captain hurried to the map, looked at it, found Cold Spring. “Right on the county line,” he said. “They’re not trying to get off the Island at all. Heading the other way, up toward Huntington.” He spun around. “Get that out to all units right away, Lieutenant. Last seen at one forty-five in the vicinity of Cold Spring.”

“Yes, sir.” Hepplewhite spoke briefly into the phone, broke the co

Gelding said, “You seem pleased, Captain. This is a good sign, eh?”

“The best so far. Now if we can only get to them before they open the safe and abandon the bank —”

“I don’t think you have to worry too much about that, Captain,” Albert Docent said. In the heat of the argument his bow tie had become twisted, but now he was calm again, and straightening it.

Captain Deemer looked at him. “Why not?”

“I was telling you about the advances that have been made in safe construction,” Docent said. He glanced at Wallah, who said nothing, and looked at the captain again to say, “Given any force that will open that safe without destroying the contents, whether nitroglycerine, acid, laser, diamond-tip drill, any of the safe cracker’s arsenal of equipment, it will take those thieves a minimum of twenty-four hours to break it open.”

Captain Deemer broke into a broad smile.

“Captain,” said the lieutenant. He was excited again.

Captain Deemer turned the broad smile on him. “Yes, Hepplewhite?”

“They found the seven guards.”

“Did they! Where?”

“Asleep on Woodbury Road.”

The captain was already turning toward his map, but he stopped and frowned at the lieutenant. “Asleep?”

“Yes, sir. On Woodbury Road. In a ditch beside the road.”

Captain Deemer looked at Albert Docent. “We’re going to need twenty-four hours,” he said.