Watch Your Back!

"He rolled off a roof instead," Tiny said. "Keep going across Seventy-second," he told Judson.

The red light at Central Park West was ahead. "As soon as the light changes," Judson promised.

"Maybe he's some kinda burglar." That was the other one back there — Dortmunder.

"You think so?" Tiny asked. "Judson, is that it? You a burglar?"

"Not me," Judson said, and drove forward under the green light.

He could sense Tiny looming behind him, larger than ever, but refused to look in the mirror. Lots of traffic to look at, two-way traffic. Very dangerous out here.

"Or maybe," Tiny said, "it's your idea I'm some kind of burglar."

"Oh, no, sir."

The one called Dortmunder said, "Tiny? What does J. C. think of him?"

"What, this driver here?" Tiny chuckled. "She thinks he's a good scam artist."

Kelp, still friendly and amiable, said, "That doesn't make him a good burglar."

Dortmunder said, "But what you're saying is, J. C. trusts him."

"In her business." To Judson he said, "Head up for the Boat Basin."

"Yes, sir," Judson said, and over the next several minutes, while they kept on with their conversation, he traversed West Seventy-second Street, Broadway, and West Seventy-ninth Street, headed for the West Seventy-ninth Street Boat Basin, where you could launch your boat, or some people kept their yachts or their houseboats, or conceivably you could drop an unwanted volunteer into the river and let him drift out to sea. Judson drove well, breathed shallowly, and didn't say a word.

"So I looked at this thing," Tiny said, "and maybe so."

"Good," Dortmunder said.

"But first I wa

"Well," Dortmunder said, "it's a bust-out joint."

"Shit," Tiny commented.

"You should see it in there, Tiny," Kelp said.

"Maybe I should."

"No, you shouldn't," Dortmunder said. "It's too late for anything like that. Tiny, they're already muscling the customers out. The back room is full of merchandise. The ladies' room is locked, so it must be full, too."

"If they're busting out," Tiny said, "how come they don't just do it?"

Dortmunder said, "You know those guys, Tiny, they're greedy. One way or another, they got control of the O.J.—"

"Usually," Kelp said, "the owner's some kind of dumbass gambler."

"Something like that," Dortmunder said. "But they got their hands on this legit business, good line of credit, they're not just go

"Not too soon for that one," Kelp commented.

"No," Dortmunder agreed. "But the thing is, Tiny, they're not go

Kelp said, "They might not even have all the customers lined up yet."

Tiny said, "But they will."

"Sure," Kelp said. "When your cost of doing business is zero, you can give real deep discounts."

Tiny said, "So that's it for the O.J."

"Goddamn it," Dortmunder said. "I don't want it to be."

Kelp said, "John, nobody wants it to be, but if they're that far along, if they've already burned the credit rating and the customer base that much, there's no getting it back, you know that. They're in there now, they'll strip the place, sell everything they ordered, disappear, the owner goes into bankruptcy, end of story."

"There's gotta be a way," Dortmunder insisted. "If only we could make a meet. But we need the O.J. to do a meeting!"

Kelp, being kindly, said, "John, you're pretty good at thinking things out. Think about this problem. We've still got maybe a couple days before they pull the plug. You come up with something to save the O.J., we're with you. Right, Tiny?"

"The kid, too," Tiny said. "If we decide to keep him."

A very small moan escaped through Judson's clenched lips. He drove slowly and carefully. He hoped he'd never reach the Seventy-ninth Street Boat Basin.

Dortmunder said, "All right, I'll try. But I don't know."

"If anybody can do it, John," Kelp said, "you can."

"Here's the Boat Basin," Tiny said. "Kid, park somewhere."

"Okay."

There were parking places below the West Side Highway, with views over the Hudson toward New Jersey and, closer at hand, boats of various kinds, many of them occupied. I'll be safe with all those people around, Judson thought, but didn't believe it for a second.

Tiny said, "Leave the engine on, kid, for the A/C."

"Okay."

Kelp said, "I guess next on the agenda is this youth here."

Tiny said, "I wanted you two to take a look at him. Josey thinks he's okay, but that's in her area. Us, I don't know."

"Let's find out a couple things," Kelp said, and offered Judson his untrustworthy smile. "Let's just say," he said, "batting these ideas around here, let's just say Tiny did boost you up to that burglar alarm. Then what?"

"I du

Kelp cocked his head, the smile turning quizzical. "No idea? What, you figured you'd go up with a screwdriver, open the thing up?"

"Well, whatever," Judson said. "I don't know how those things work."

Dortmunder said, "What's in it for you?"

Judson blinked at him. Dortmunder at least wasn't smiling. In fact, he didn't look optimistic at all. "Well, sir, "Judson told him, "I thought you people would want to share with me or something."

Dortmunder nodded. "And you'd leave it up to us, the details and all that."

"I never did anything like that," Judson explained, "so I don't know how it works." Then, desperate, reaching down deep inside himself for the truth, he said, "What it is, I don't know anything, and I just want to get along until I figure out what I should be doing out here, so when I realized Mr. Tiny was interested in that alarm box I just offered to help, like, on the spur of the moment kind of thing."

Dortmunder said, "What you should be doing out here? What's 'out here'?"

"Well, out of high school."

I shouldn't have said that, he thought, as they all looked at one another. Then Tiny said, "Up to you two."

"Up to Andy," Dortmunder said. "He's the one would have to teach him."

Kelp laughed. "I was thinking," he said, "I don't think I'd like Tiny to boost me anywhere." Turning his smile on Judson, he said, "Judson? You got any close friends at home? High school buddies?"

"Oh, no," Judson assured him. "I said good-bye to all that."

"Live with your folks?"

"Until I find a place in the city, yes, sir, but I don't talk to my parents. Never did."

"Ever been in trouble with the law?"

"Not real trouble, no, sir."

Again Kelp laughed. "You mean, you got away with it."

Judson couldn't help a sheepish answering smile. "A few times, yes, sir."

Kelp nodded at the two in back. "I'll give him a try."

Judson said, "Thank you, sir."

Still with the unchanging smile, Kelp told him, "If I'm making a mistake, Tiny can always drop you from a high place."

"Yes, sir."

"Let me know," Tiny said, and opened his door, saying, "I'll walk it over to Riverside from here. Kid, drive these two home."

"Yes, sir."

Tiny left, and Kelp said, "I'm west Thirties."

"East Nineteenth," said Dortmunder.

"Yes, sir."

Relieved, amazed, giddy, Judson drove up around, out of the Boat Basin, onto the West Side Highway south. Driving along toward the ship terminal and the USS Intrepid, he said, "And if it turns out you could use some help on that bust-out joint, I'm up for that, too."

Well, they didn't have to laugh that much.