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WHEN THE DOORBELL RANG, Kelp was seated at the kitchen table, reading a recent safe manufacturer’s catalog, enjoying the full-color illustrations. He knew A
“On my way.”
In the living room, A
“Whadaya say?” Kelp said, and stuck out his hand.
“How do you do,” Jim Green said. He had a gentle voice, a mild ma
Looking Green over, Kelp decided he wasn’t impressed. A
“A
“That’s it,” Kelp agreed. “You know, it doesn’t have to hold up forever, only a few months.”
Still smiling, Green shook both his head and a hand, saying, “No, excuse me, Andy, it doesn’t work that way.”
“It doesn’t?”
A
“Nothing right now, A
“Okay,” Kelp said.
“So it isn’t a question,” Green went on, “how long is this thing good for. It’s good forever, unless you burn it. It won’t burn itself. You get a new identity, it’s always there waiting for you, it happens someday you can no longer go on being who you were before.”
“Sounds good,” Kelp said.
“And,” Green said, “as with most things that sound good, it also sounds expensive.”
“That’s why,” Kelp said, “I was hoping for something maybe shorter term, because that might not be so expensive.”
Green nodded, frowning a little. Then he gri
“I know,” she said, gri
“I tell you what, A
“Sure,” she said, rising. “That was black no sugar, right?”
“What a memory,” Green said.
Kelp said, “A
“Fine.”
She went away, and Green leaned back on the sofa and said, “What can you tell me about what you need this for?”
“I can tell you a lot,” Kelp said, “since A
“And I say the same for her. So what are we looking at?”
“Four guys,” Kelp told him, “have to get employed by a guy that’s under federal court observation and bankruptcy and ongoing investigations and all of this.”
“You’re going to work for this guy?”
“It’s the only way to get to where he is, and get what we want.”
“Interesting,” Green said.
“Because of this guy’s situation,” Kelp said, “he can’t hire anybody with a record.”
“I can see that.”
“Because of our situation, we can’t apply.”
“What you need,” Green said, “is identities without felonies.”
“You got it.”
“Let me think about this.” Green nodded to himself, while Kelp’s mind wandered. Then Green nodded more emphatically. “I suspect,” he said, “what we’re also talking about here is short money up front, and a guaranteed big killing after it’s all over.”
“Well,” Kelp said, “there are no guarantees.”
Green looked surprised. “Really? Usually, there’s guarantees.”
“Well,” Kelp said, “it isn’t guaranteed to not work.”
“Okay.” Green seemed to like to nod; he did some more of it, then said, “Did you know Howard?”
“I’ve known some Howards,” Kelp admitted. “You thinking of any one of them in particular?”
“A
“Oh, he was Howard? No, he cleared out two days before we met.”
“He was a jerk,” Green said. “I only met him a couple times, but it only took a couple times.”
“Yeah, I understand that.”
“He was a jerk like her father, the Honorable, that I knew a lot better. If you never met Howard, then you never met the father, either, because he was dead by then.”
“You’re right.”
“There’s women like that,” Green said. “They start out with a jerk for a father, they go find one just like him, get married. Some do it over and over, keep finding the same exact kind of jerk.”
“Doesn’t sound like fun,” Kelp said.
“I was wondering, you see,” Green said, “if A
Kelp gri
“I think so, too. She’ll be back in a minute, so let me ask you. Is it okay we talk business in front of her?”
Kelp shrugged. “Saves me repeating everything after you leave.”
“Okay,” Green said. He did the nodding thing some more. “Let me explain the problem,” he said, and A
“Apple juice,” she said, and went back to her chair.
“Right,” Kelp said. “That’s one of your Midwest things.”
She said, “Jim, do you know why I picked this guy up?”
Green said, “You picked him up?”
“Sure.”
“I helped,” Kelp said.
Ignoring that, A
“Ahh,” Green said.
“I put an ice cube,” Kelp said.
“First man I ever met didn’t want everything he drank to taste like Royal Crown Cola.” Giving Kelp a fond look, she said, “You told me straight bourbon wouldn’t make me drunk unless I had one of those fu
Kelp nodded. “Yeah, but you didn’t believe me.”
“No, of course not. But I liked you telling me. Women like a man who puts in the effort to attract her attention. Lies, inflates his part, acts cool. Women don’t believe all the strutting around, but they like it, it’s a compliment to them that he drags out his bag of tricks, just for her.”
It was Kelp’s turn to show a fond look. “You had a couple tricks in the bag, too, you know.”
“I thought you were worth it.”
They smiled at each other, and Jim Green cleared his throat and said, “Uh, I’m still here, you know.”
They looked at him. “Oh, hi, Jim,” Kelp said. “How you doin?”
“Fine.”
“I forgot all about you over there.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jim said. “Happens all the time.” Turning to A
“I’m sorry there’s a problem,” she said.
“Well, there would be,” he said, and said to Kelp, “The identities I create are very tricky, and you need to find just the right little cra
“Well,” Kelp said, “it was a long shot. Thanks, anyway.”
A
“A
Kelp said, “A