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We said a prayer in class every morning for the first few weeks after she went missing, for Je
After Garda Rogers had finished his safety talk, it was Garda Bra
When the talk was over we were once again encouraged by our teachers to go to Room Four to talk to the Gardaí, and then we were given our lunch break, which was a stupid idea because nobody was going to bother missing time playing in the yard by going to the guards. As soon as we got back into our classroom and Ms. Sullivan told us to take our math books out, hands suddenly shot into the air. People just suddenly seemed to remember vital evidence. But what else could Ms. Sullivan do? And so the Gardaí found themselves with a very long line of students of all ages outside their door, some of whom had never even met Je
Room Four was nicknamed the Interrogation Room, and the story of what went on inside became more and more exaggerated with each pupil that left and rejoined his friends. There were so many pupils with alleged information that the guards had to come back the next day, but not without a stern a
“But I like Irish, Miss,” I protested.
“Good, then you’ll be happy to stay,” she snapped, before ordering me to read an entire chapter aloud from the book.
I had no alternative but to raise my hand during art class on Friday afternoon. Everybody loved art class. Ms. Sullivan looked at me in surprise.
“Can I go now, Miss?”
“To the toilet?”
“No, to Room Four.”
She looked surprised but finally took me seriously and I was given permission to leave art class to the sound of ooooooooh from everybody else.
I knocked on the door to Room Four and Garda Rogers opened the door. He must have been six feet tall. At ten years old I was already very tall, at five foot five, and I was happy finally to see someone tower over me, even if he was intimidating, dressed in a garda uniform, and I was about to confess to him.
“Another math class?” He smiled broadly.
“No,” I said so quietly I could barely hear myself. “Art.”
“Oh.” He raised his thick caterpillar eyebrows with surprise.
“I’m responsible,” I said quickly.
“Well, that’s good, but I don’t think missing one math class makes you irresponsible, although don’t tell your teacher I said that.” He touched his nose.
“No,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I mean I’m responsible for Je
This time he didn’t smile. He opened the door wider. “Come on in.”
I looked around the room. It was nothing like the rumors that had been going around the last two days. Jemima Hayes said that someone told her friend that someone told her that someone hadn’t been allowed to leave the room to go to the toilet and had to pee in his pants. The room was nonthreatening, with a couch up against one wall, small table in the center, and a plastic school chair opposite that. There was no sign of a wet chair.
“Sit down there.” He pointed to the couch. “Make yourself comfortable. What’s your name?”
“Sandy Shortt.”
“You’re tall for your age, though, aren’t you, Miss Shortt?” He laughed, and I smiled politely even though I’d heard it a million times. He stopped himself laughing. “So, tell me, what makes you think you were responsible for Je
I frowned. “What do you call it?”
“Well, we don’t know for sure if…I mean there’s nothing to suggest…” He sighed. “Just tell me why you think you’re responsible.” He motioned for more.
“Well, Je
“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true,” he said kindly. “What makes you think that?”
“She used to call me a lanky slut and throw stones at me.”
“Oh.” He fell silent.
I took a breath. “Then last week she found out that I told my friend Emer that I didn’t think she was as good at King/Queen as everybody thought she was and she got really angry and stormed over to me and Emer and challenged us to a game. Well, not us actually, because she didn’t say anything to Emer, just me. She doesn’t like Emer either but she doesn’t like me more, and I was the one that said it so we were supposed to play this game the next day, me and Je
“What happened, Sandy?”
I gulped hard.
“Did you do something?”
I nodded and he moved in, shuffling his backside closer the edge of his chair.
“What did you do?”
“I…I…”
“It’s OK, you can tell me.”
“I wished her away.” I said it quickly, like pulling a bandage from my skin, quick and easy.
“I’m sorry, you what?”
“I wished her away?”
“Whisht? Is that a weapon of some-”
“No, wished. I wished that she’d disappear.”
“Ah.” Realization dawned and he sat back slowly, in his chair. “I understand now.”
“No, you’re just saying that you do but you don’t really. I really did wish for her to be gone, much more than I’ve ever wished for anything to be gone in my whole entire life, even more than when Uncle Fred stayed over in our house for a month after he split up from Aunt Isabel and he smoked and drank and stunk the place out and I really wanted him gone but not as much as I wanted Je