Ship of Destiny

She flung him the offer carelessly. Ke

He saw her watching him from the corner of her eye. She knew very well what she was offering him. He stepped closer, and spoke only for her ears. "And what does it cost me? Only 'what you ask for, when you ask for it'?"

Her red lips curved in a sweet smile. "Exactly."

The time for hesitation was past. "You have it," he assured her quietly.

"I know," she replied.

"WHAT AILS YOU?" ETTA DEMANDED CROSSLY.

Wintrow looked up at her in surprise. "Your pardon?"

"Pardon my ass!" She gestured impatiently at the game board on the low table between them. "It's your move. It has been your move for as long as it has taken me to finish this buttonhole. But when I look up, there you sit, staring into the lantern. So what ails you? You ca

That was because the whole of his mind was given over to one thing only. He could have said that, but chose to shrug. "I suppose I feel a bit useless of late."

She gri

Now there was a question. Why did it bother him? Since Ke

He could dimly recall his healing. Days of convalescence had followed it. He had lain in his bunk and watched the play of light on the wall of his stateroom and thought of nothing. The rapid repair of his body had drained all his physical reserves. Etta had brought him food, drink and books he never opened. She had brought him a mirror, thinking to cheer him. He saw that the outside of his body had reconstructed itself at Ke

It was the ship's doing. He knew that. Ke

Etta slapped the table and he jumped.

"You're doing it again," she accused him. "And you haven't even answered my question."

"I don't know what to do with myself anymore," he confessed. "The ship no longer needs me. Ke

"Jealous," Etta filled in. "And fair green with it. I hope that I was subtler when I was in your place. For a long time, I stood where you stand now, wondering what my place was, wondering why or if Ke

"What will?" he demanded.

"Keeping busy. Getting over it. Learning something new." She tied a knot. "Find something else to occupy your mind."

"Such as?" he asked bitterly.

She bit off her thread and tugged to see if the bone button was secure. With her chin, she gestured at the neglected game board. "Amusing me."

Her smile made it a jest. The movement of her chin made the lamplight run over her sleek hair and glance off the strong bones of her cheeks. She glanced at him from under lowered lashes as she threaded her needle. Mirth glinted in her dark eyes. The corner of her mouth curved slightly. Yes, he could find something else to occupy his mind, something likely to lead to disaster. He forced his eyes back to the game board and made a move. "Learn something new. Such as?"

She snorted her contempt. Her hand darted out, and with a single move demolished his defenses. "Something useful. Something you will actually put your mind to, rather than making motions while you dream elsewhere."

He swept his playing pieces from the board. "What can I learn aboard this ship that I have not already learned?"

"Navigation," she suggested. "It confounds me, but you have the numbers learned already. You could master it." This time her eyes were serious. "But I think you should learn what you have put off far too long. Fill the gap that you wear like an open wound. Go where your heart has always led you. You have denied yourself long enough."

He sat very still. "And that is?" he prompted her quietly.

"Learn yourself. Your priesthood," she said.

His keen disappointment shocked him. He would not even consider what he had hoped she might suggest. He shook his head, and his voice was bitter as he said, "I have left that too far behind. Sa is strong in my life, but my devotion is not what it once was. A priest must be willing to live his life for others. At one time, I thought that would be my delight. Now…" he let his eyes meet hers honestly. "I have learned to want things for myself," he said quietly.

She laughed. "Ah, at teaching you that, Ke

He bit back the words that sprang to his lips. Etta had changed, and he had been part of her changing. The way she spoke, the way she thought, reflected the books they had shared. It was not that she had become wiser; wisdom had shone in her from the start. Now she had the words for her thoughts. She had been like a lantern flame burning behind a sooty glass. Now the glass was clear and her light shone forth. She pursed her lips in a

She lifted one eyebrow as if to deny it. His heart sank. Could something so important to him have left no mark upon her? Then she shook her head ruefully. "You were so serious, I wanted to kick you. Such a lad. It does not seem possible you were so young such a short time ago."

"Such a short time ago?" He laughed. "It seems like years. I've been through so many changes since then." He met her eyes. "I taught you to read, and you said it changed your life. Do you know how much you have changed my life as well?"

"Well." She leaned back and considered. "If I hadn't taught you to use a knife, you'd be dead now. So I suppose I've changed the course of your life at least once."