Ship of Destiny

Did that mean Ke

"And that Jek woman?" Etta asked acidly.

He debated lying, but she probably already knew he'd been down there. "She won't talk to me."

Ke

"I tried to talk to the figurehead about her," he ventured. Etta looked disapproving, but also curious. "Bolt was even less courteous to me than she usually is. She bluntly says she wants Althea off her decks. She speaks wildly of her, with curses and threats, as if she were…" He stopped his thoughts and shook his head, hoping Etta would not demand that he continue. The ship spoke of Althea as if she were a hated rival. Not for Wintrow's attentions, of course. She no longer had any interest in Wintrow.

He sighed.

"You're mooning about the ship again," Etta accused him.

"I am," he admitted easily. "I miss her. Talking to Bolt is more a task than a pleasure. And you have preoccupations of your own these days. I am often lonely."

"My own preoccupations? You are the one who stopped talking to me."

He had thought her anger was reserved for Ke

"You thought I would be so busy being pregnant I couldn't think or talk anymore," Etta finished for him. She stuck out her belly and patted it with a fatuous, simpering smile. Then she scowled at him.

"Something like that," Wintrow admitted. He rubbed his chin ruefully and braced himself for her fury.

She laughed aloud instead. "Oh, Wintrow, you are such a lad," she exclaimed. She said the words with such fondness that he looked up in surprise. "Yes, you," she went on at his glance. "You've been fair green with jealousy since I told you, almost as if I were your mother about to forsake you for a new baby." She shook her head. He suddenly wondered if his jealousy pleased her. "Sometimes, between you and Ke

He let the words come almost before he knew what he was going to say. "Ke

She looked stu

Something in her voice set his heart hammering. Did she want him to desire her? Was there in her the slightest warmth for him? He would speak and be damned. If he had to lose everything, then at least let it be said. Even if she ba

"Oh, Wintrow." She shook her head and looked away from him. "You are so very young."

"I'm closer to your age than he is!" he replied, stung.

"Not in the ways that matter," she answered inexorably.

"I'm only young because Ke

"Manhood is not something that someone allows you," Etta lectured him. "Manhood is something a man takes for himself. Then it is recognized by others." She leaned down to pick up her sewing.

Wintrow stood up. His desperation was but one breath away from anger. Why did she dismiss him with platitudes? "Manhood is to be taken. I see." As she straightened in her chair, he put two fingers under her chin and turned her startled face up to his. He would not think. He was tired of thinking. He leaned down and kissed her, desperately hoping that he was doing it well. Then, as he felt her mouth under his, he forgot everything but this daring sensation.

She pulled away from him, her hand flying to cover her mouth. She took a quick breath. Her eyes were very wide. An instant later, sparks of anger kindled in them. "Is this how you would begin asserting you are a man? By betraying Ke

"That was not about betrayal, Etta. That had nothing to do with Ke

"Yes," she replied in a shaky voice. "You should."

He stopped at the door. "If it were my son you were carrying," he said huskily, "I would have been the first to know of it. You would not have had to share such confidences with another man. You would have been sure of my joy and acceptance. I would have-"

"Go!" she commanded him harshly, and he went.

ALTHEA. A FAINT ECHO FROM A BELOVED PAST. YOU'VE COME TO ME.

"No." She knew her lips moved to form the word but she did not hear her own voice speak. She did not want to awaken. There was nothing good left in wakefulness. She willed herself deeper, past sleep, past unconsciousness, reaching for a place where she was no longer co

Althea! The voice rang with joy. You have found me. I never should have doubted you.

Vivacia? Her presence was all around Althea, stronger than a scent, more pervasive than warmth, her reality sweeter than any memory. The being of her ship embraced her. Homecoming and farewell mingled; now, she could die in peace. Althea willed herself to let go but instead Vivacia enveloped her with love and need. Althea could not bear such tenderness. It beckoned her like a light and threatened her resolve. She turned away from it. Let me go, my dear. I want to die.