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CHAPTER TWENTY - SIX
'Yeah?'
'Good morning. I would like to speak to Topee, please.'
'Speaking.'
'Brother Topee, it is I, Isis.'
'Is! Well, hello there!' My relation whooped, painfully loudly. I held the phone away from my ear for a moment. 'Really? he laughed. 'You're kidding! But, hey! You aren't allowed to use the phone, are you?'
'Not normally. But these are desperate times, Topee.'
'They are? Whangy-dangy! No one ever tells me anything. Where are you, anyway?'
'Glasgow Central station.'
'Yeah? Wow! Great! Hey; come on round and meet the guys; we're go
'Breakfast would be appreciated.'
'Great! Brilliant! Hey,' he said, as his voice went echoey and small for a moment. 'It's my cousin Isis.' (Topee and I are not, of course, actually cousins; the real relationship is more complicated, but I understood the elision.) 'Aye. She's coming round here.' I heard a lean chorus of male cheers in the background, then Topee's voice again, still echoey. 'Yeah, the neat-lookin' one; the messiah-ess. Aye.'
'Topee,' I said, sighing. 'Don't embarrass me. I don't have the emotional resilience just at the moment.'
'Eh? What? Na, don't worry. So,' he said, 'how come you're using the phone, Is?'
'I think I might need some help.'
'What with?'
'Research.'
'Research?'
'In a library, or maybe a newspaper. I am unused to such things. I wondered if you might be able to assist me.'
'Du
'I shall be there directly.'
'Ha ha! I love the way you talk. Great. The guys are dyin' to meet you. You've got a fan club here.'
I groaned. 'See you soon.'
'You got the address?'
'Yes. I'll be about half an hour.'
'Okay-doke. Give us time to clean the place up.'
I could only conclude that Topee and the three male friends with whom he shared the flat in Dalmally Street had not bothered to do any cleaning whatsoever, or that they normally lived in a state resembling the interior of one of those municipal rubbish lorries which compresses each binload of refuse it picks up.
The flat smelled of beer and the carpet I first stepped onto in the hall stuck to my feet, like something designed to let astronauts walk in a space station. Topee gave me a hug which lifted both my kit-bag and me off my feet - the hall carpet only parted with the soles of my boots reluctantly, I believe - and proceeded to squeeze most of the breath out of me.
Topee is a lively lad, tall and ski
'Isis!' he yelled, and took a step backwards, going down on his hands and knees, laughing and salaaming. 'I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!' He was dressed in ripped jeans and a ripped T-shirt under a frayed check shirt.
'Hello, Topee,' I said, as tiredly as I felt.
'She's here!' Topee cried out, and jumped to his feet, dragging me through to the flat's living room, where three other young men sat gri
I moved a pair of grubby-looking socks off the seat I was offered and sat down. I was duly introduced to Steve, Stephen and Mark and invited to share their breakfast, which consisted of the remains of a communal take-away curry and ditto Chinese from the previous night, bulked out by a plate piled high with huge soft floury rolls. Tea was provided, and such was my hunger I found the cold, oily debris from the previous night quite palatable. The rolls were more appearance than substance, seemingly compose mostly of air, but at least they were fresh.
I chatted to the other three young men, who all suffered from an interestingly diverse range of spots and related skin conditions. They seemed embarrassed by my presence, which I might have found flattering if I'd had the energy to spare. They kept on playing cards as they talked and ate, roundly abusing and cursing each other as though they were homicidally desperate outlaws gambling for the entire proceeds of a robbery rather than, I assumed, reasonably good friends and playing, apparently, for sweets called Smarties.
'Are those earrings, Topee?' I asked, as Topee - finding that some hairs were getting into his mouth as he munched on his lemon chicken and roll - flicked his hair back behind his ear and revealed a set of half a dozen or so small studs and rings set into the rearward edge of his left ear.
He flashed a smile at me. 'Yeah. Cool, eh?'
'Hmm.' I continued digging into my mostly-air roll.
Topee looked hurt. 'You don't like them?' he asked plaintively.
I forbore pointing out that body piercing was frowned upon by our Faith, just as I had questioning Topee's lack of a mud-mark on his forehead. 'I have always felt,' I said, instead, 'that the human body arrives with a more than sufficient number of orifices out of the box, as it were.'
They were all looking at me.
'Yeah,' sniggered the one called Mark. 'To name but one!'
The others snorted and laughed too, after a moment. I just sat and smiled, not entirely sure what the joke was.
Topee looked a little discomfited, but cleared his throat and asked politely what exactly it was I wanted help with.
While giving the details a wide berth, I explained to Topee that I wanted to investigate army records, events in 1948 as reported in newspapers, and possibly old currency. Even as I spoke the words I felt that just mentioning those three areas was already giving too much away, but Topee's eyelids remained unbatted, and I felt I had to involve him. I needed to do this quickly, I felt, and as a student Topee ought to know his way round a library, oughtn't he? Listening to the four lads chat and curse as they played cards, I wondered if this had been wise, but I had made my play now and would have to stick with it.
'Aw, shit, Is!' Topee exclaimed, when I made clear the need for haste. 'You wa
He laughed.
'You can't interfere with a… with a months-old tradition like that just because you need to do this research shit! Fuck, if we wanted to do that sort of stuff we'd be writing our essays! I mean, do we look like sad students? Come on; we're trying to resurrect a fine student tradition here. We have to party!'
'Party!' the others chorused.
I looked at Topee. 'You told me students were all very boring and exam-oriented these days.'
'They are, mostly!' Topee said, gesticulating. 'We party-'
'Party!' the other three chorused again.
'-animals are practically an endangered species!'
'I can't imagine why,' I sighed. 'Well, just-'
'Oh, come, Is; let your… I mean, get your party-'
'Party!'