Have You Seen Her?

"Je

Je

Neil shrugged. "Don't know. Haven't seen him since tins morning." He looked around. "Are you supposed to be here alone?"

Her patience snapped. "No, I'm not supposed to be here alone," she said testily, then watched his face fall and felt guilty. "I'm sorry, Neil. I've had a bad few days. I guess you all have, too."

He shook his head and leaned against the iron railing. "That's an understatement." He was quiet for a moment, then asked, "You tell your family about the wrecked car?"

Je

Neil ventured a grin. "More worried about you, huh?"

Je

"I kind of hoped it would turn out that way."

"Mmm." When he didn't say anything, the silence grew awkward. "So, Neil, you never did tell me where you're from."

One corner of his mouth lifted and Je

"More recently than sixty years ago."

He looked impressed. "Good memory."

"Umm-hmm. So where, Detective Davies?"

"Seattle," he said, surprising her.

"Really? What brings you all the way to little old Pineville, North Carolina?"

"I thought I could help on Steven's case," he said and she detected a touch of self-pity.

"But obviously you were wrong. Have a seat, Neil, and tell me a story."

And after a long look, he sat. "I thought I knew who was killing the girls. I was wrong."

"Mmm. So should I deduce that you've met this killer, or thought you'd met him, somewhere in the past? Say, Seattle?"

"I should have gone to Ph.D. school," he murmured ruefully. "I'd be a lot smarter than I am." He looked out into the darkness of the parking lot. "And Alev and Kelly might still be home with their parents," he added, his voice bitter.

Je

"Right again."

"So what now?"

He turned his head to look at her and she saw he was lost. Totally lost. "I don't know."

"Will you go back to Seattle?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Not a whole helluva lot left for me there."

"So I take it you're not married."

"Was. Not anymore." Neil looked down at his hands. "I kind of got obsessed with a case."

"A serial killer of young girls in Seattle?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"You didn't catch him then. What happened?"

For a minute she thought he wasn't going to answer, then he shrugged. "The evidence I gathered had been tainted."

"Like OJ.'s glove?" she asked wryly and he looked up at the sky with another unwilling smile.

"Just like that. I gathered it right. I swear I did. By the rules. By the book. Just like I'd done a hundred times before. But something happened. The records showed I'd been in the evidence room the night critical semen samples disappeared-and then reappeared the following morning."

'They accused you of contaminating evidence."

He nodded morosely. "And even though I had a concrete alibi, a fucking judge let a killer go."

"And because you blame yourself for not catching him then, you come all this way, bent on catching him now, only you're wrong and quite possibly made everything worse. Am I on target?"

He nodded. "Right once again."

"So you punish yourself for something you should have done or shouldn't have done."

"That's me."

Je

He darted a quick look her way and scowled. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means get a life, Neil. You goofed. Pick up and move on. Lots of people have."

"You mean like Steven."

Je

Neil's laugh was hollow, launching warning bells in her head. He looked away, his jaw taut. "Do you know what it's like to lie awake and stare at the ceiling?" he asked, his voice hard.

"Yes," Je

"Night after night?" he pressed.

"Yes," Je

"For years?"

"Yes." She could hear the edge in her voice. She was growing weary of his self-pity.

He fished in his pocket and brought out a pack of Win-stons, still in the plastic. "I haven't smoked in years."

"So don't start again now," Je

The corner of Neil's mouth lifted. "If my wife had been more like you…" He shoved the cigarettes back in his pocket, unopened. "So do you still lie awake night after night?" he asked.

She thought about the enveloping warmth of Steven's body during the night, the utter safeness of his arms around her, and couldn't stop the satisfied smile that curved her lips. "Not anymore."

He turned his head, only his head, and she was startled by the way his dark eyes had hardened. "Because of him."

"Yes," she said, but it came out crackly. She cleared her throat. "And you? Can you sleep?"

He nodded, then pulled the cigarettes from his pocket. Nervously tapped the pack against his palm. "The first night I saw you I slept for the first time in three years." He closed his hand into a fist, crushing the cigarettes. "And dreamed of you."

Je

Neil lurched to his feet. "Stop. Let's just leave it alone, all right?" He strode toward the parking lot and she jumped to her feet to follow him.

"Neil, wait."

He looked up at the stars, then back at her. "You really love him, don't you?"

She nodded, again not knowing what to say. So she said the truth. "I really do."

He took her hand, squeezed it. "I'll probably go back on the first flight tomorrow."

And as she looked at him, she saw a very lonely man who truly cared about the girls he believed himself to have failed. Her heart squeezing in compassion, she leaned up and kissed his cheek. "I hope you find peace, Neil."

He grimaced. "I'd settle for a good night's sleep."

Her mouth curved up. "Try counting ewes."

"Ah. Girl sheep."

She rolled her eyes. "I knew it was a guy thing." And he laughed as she smiled. He stepped away backward until he got to a tiny little car.

"Good luck, Je

Je

Chapter Thirty

Thursday, October 13, 6:30 P.M.

Neil watched her from his rearview mirror as he drove away, cursing himself for once again being in the right place at the wrong time and Thatcher for having all the good fortune. Then a Volvo wagon zoomed past him on the right and exited the school's parking lot in a cloud of dust.

Thatcher's Volvo. Of course.

"Well, damn," he said softly, though only half of him could regret Thatcher misinterpreting what he'd seen. The other half was glad. Je