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His lips trembled. "Everybody thought I was a big baby."
Her heart cracked. "I'm sure they didn't, honey, even if it seemed like it at the time."
"They still do. Everybody comes to check on me at night, when they think I'm asleep," he continued as if she hadn't said a word. "They stand there and look at me."
"Why do you think they do that?" Je
"Because they think I'm a baby."
"Well, I'm not a baby and I don't think I'm going to be too keen on going back to sleep in my bed either," Je
Nicky opened one eye. "You can't," he answered, just as practically. "The man sliced up your mattress with his knife."
Je
He didn't say anything and she mentally scrambled for a new angle. "Did you know I had a fiance before I met your dad?"
He shook his head into the pillow.
"His name was Adam. He got very sick, and he died."
Nicky squirmed onto his back and his eyes opened. "Was he very old?"
"No, he was still a very young man. Anyway, when he died… I couldn't sleep in my bed. He'd slept there when he was sick and I… just… couldn't."
"So what did you do?"
"I got a new bed. How would you feel about a new bed?"
Outside, Steven kicked himself for not having suggested that months earlier. He'd replaced his own bed, for heaven's sake, after Melissa died. He couldn't even think of sleeping in the same bed he'd shared with the woman who'd betrayed them all. He leaned closer, listening for Nicky's reply.
"My friend Jon? He has a bed shaped like a car."
Je
Nicky looked contemplative. "Maybe I will."
"Now about everybody checking on you." She made her voice overly dramatic and Nicky smiled. "I don't for one minute believe anyone thinks you are a baby. To escape like you did last spring took incredible courage. Not many boys Brad's age would have been so brave."
His smile faded. "Then why do they check on me every night?"
Je
He nodded soberly. "Adam."
"Yes, Adam. Well, I would check on him every night. Not because I thought he was a baby or about to do anything stupid, but because I needed to. For me."
His brows scrunched up. "Why?"
She sighed, searching for the right words. "Nicky, when someone you love is in danger, you worry. And when you get that person back, you still worry." She thought about the hurt on Seth's face and finally understood his pain. "It's like when you cut your finger. It stays sore for a few days, even after the bleeding's stopped. I know that's why everybody checks on you. In the night, when everything is quiet, that's when people realize just how close they came to losing you. They need to get up and make sure everything is still all right. And just because you're safe now-" She gave him a serious look. "And you are safe, Nicky. You know that man can never hurt you again."
He nodded, still sober. "I know. He died in jail."
And I hope it was painful for him, Je
"He's worried now," Nicky said thoughtfully. "About the bad man that's killing the girls."
Je
"I saw Daddy on TV talking about it."
She glanced to the mirror, saw Steven's face pale. "He doesn't want you worrying about that."
"Well, if he's worried about me, can't I worry about him?"
Je
Nicky's lips thi
Oh, so now it's clear, Je
"That's different. You're his girlfriend." His eyes went sly. "Aren't you?"
Je
"That's different," he said, overly patient as if she were a dull student. "He's a priest."
"Fine, suit yourself. But you have my word that hugs are not for babies.".
"Hmm," Nicky said, back to thoughtful from patient. "Well, if he wants one, he might as well come in." He looked at her pointedly. "He's been standing outside my door all this time."
Je
Steven came in awkwardly rubbing his jaw. "I guess I need to practice that covert surveillance thing," he murmured and Je
Nicky scrambled to sit up and Steven felt his heart hammer in anticipation. The one thing he'd missed above all others was the unfettered affection Nicky had always bestowed. He held out his arms and after a long moment's hesitation, Nicky crawled into them, his spindiy arms straining to span Steven's back. Steven hugged him hard, drawing in a breath and letting the simple pleasure flow as the seconds ticked by. "I love you, Nicky," he whispered fiercely.
Again a moment's Hesitation, then, "I love you, too, Daddy "
Steven looked over at Je
Nicky struggled in his arms and Steven let go. "Ow," Nicky said comically and he and Je
Steven rolled to his feet as Je
Nicky rolled over. "Night, Daddy. Night. Je
Chapter Twenty-eight
Wednesday, October 12, 12:30 A.M.
It was past midnight when Steven slipped into the spare bedroom and closed the door behind his back. Je
"Don't do that," she whispered, then relaxed. "Couldn't sleep either?"
He shook his head and sat next to her on the bed. "I was thinking about you. Wanting to touch you." He rubbed his hand along her forearm. "Needing to touch you."
"I'm all right," she said softly. "Really."
"1 know. Mostly."
She took his hand and brought it up to her lips. "What happened today, Steven?"