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"I'm sorry."
He jerked around to meet her eyes. "For what?"
She shrugged uneasily. "I think mostly for holding you to an unfair standard. I was comparing you to Adam from the begi
Steven swallowed hard. "Thank you." He dug in his pocket and pulled out Adam Llewellyn's ring. "This belongs to you."
Her eyes widened. "Where did you get that? I left it on Adam's headstone yesterday."
"Allison gave it to me. She hoped the ring would bring me luck in finding you, I think."
She just looked at the ring, making no attempt to take it. "You never said anything about me wearing it all this time. 1 usually forgot I had it on."
Steven shrugged. "I figured you'd put it aside in your own time."
She closed his hand over the ring, enclosing his fist in her hands. "It's time to give it back to Seth," she said. "I don't need it anymore."
He brought their hands to his lips. "I'm sorry, Je
She looked at him, yearning in her eyes. "I know. What I want to know is what will happen next time before you calm down? What if we're married? What if we have children together?"
His heart stumbled, then kicked. "I want that more than anything."
"So do I," she said and for a moment he felt such elation… Then she added, "But not if I have to worry about every man I see, I smile at, or say hello to. I have to know you trust me, or this isn't going to work. I don't want to build a life with you only to resent you years from now."
He hung his head. "I can't make promises like that, Je
"I love you," she said and his head jerked up. She smiled at the surprise on his face. "That was the last thing I wanted to say to you. I think if you'd made a rash promise to never get jealous again just to keep me I probably would have asked you to take me back to Seth. But you didn't, because you're a man of integrity. I love that about you. I respect that about you."
He was almost afraid to ask. "Je
She put her finger over his lips. "No, and let me tell you why. Do you remember the night I tried to seduce you? The night Casey was hurt? That night you said you had responsibilities? Three of them? You still do, Steven. We leapt into this whole relationship so fast. Partly because we'd both been lonely and partly because of all the craziness around us. We played house this week and it was wonderful. I tucked your son into bed and pretended he was mine. I want him to be mine. But I want him to understand how normal people do things."
His lips quirked up against her finger. "I thought we'd abandoned all hope of normalcy."
Her eyes smiled at him. "Pretend with me, Steven. We'll have dates. You'll pick me up at my place and take me out for beer and hot wings. Sometimes, if I'm at your house, I'll tuck in your son. We'll grow together. Then, soon, we'll grow into a family." She swallowed and brought his hand to her lips again. "I was so afraid I'd die last night, Steven, and never have you as my own. Never have a family with you. But I don't want that fear to make us leap so fast we miss the important growth along the way.
"You've given this a lot of thought."
Her smile was wry. "I had some free time last night."
"I love you, Je
"I would say yes," she said. "So don't ask. Not yet. Give us the time to become a family. Then ask me and I'll still say yes."
"Je
She did, and the look in her eyes made him kiss her again. "Just don't take too long, okay? I need you in my life. I'm not a normal guy. I won't have time for beer and hot wings all the time. I have soccer games and bedtime stories and I need you to have those things with me."
His plea pulled at Je
"Christmas it is," he whispered, cupping the back of her head, reminding her-as if she could forget-that she had no hair. But he honestly didn't seem to care so she tried not to either. He grazed her lips with his. "We don't have to wait for everything, do we?" he murmured. "I mean, we can still…"
"I should think so," she whispered. "We've still got two unopened boxes."
He groaned and kissed her. "I was hoping you'd see it that way."
Chapter Thirty-eight
Friday, October 28, 9:00 A.M.
Steven walked into the hospital room, wishing he had better news for Neil Davies.
Davies was sitting up in bed, looking grim, and Steven knew he'd already heard.
"How are you?" he said and Davies scowled.
"My ass hurts and the whole sponge-bath thing is a damn myth."
Steven's lips quirked up. "You're feeling better then."
Davies grunted. "Yeah. I guess so. How's Je
"She went to karate last night, looking very scary in her gi with that hair. Like an extra in a very bad Jackie Chan flick."
Davies grunted again, but this time with the ghost of a smile. "Grace Jones watch out," he said, then sobered. "And Kelly?"
"She's been released from the hospital into the care of a therapist. Her parents are talking about moving to another town. Getting a new start."
"Sometimes that's the way to do it," Davies said.
"Are you going back to Seattle?"
Davies smiled. "And don't you just wish I were?" But it was said without antagonism.
"Honestly, yeah. But if you stay you know you're always welcome in my home."
Davies chuckled. "I knew I hated you," he said compan-ionably. "I try to steal your woman and you invite me home for supper."
Steven raised a brow. "Of course I have heard Seattle is pretty this time of year."
Davies shook his head. "Actually, I was thinking about going down to Florida. My brother owns a charter boat and he's asked me to come and give him a hand with the fishing excursions."
"I can think of worse places to recuperate," Steven said.
Neither of them said anything for a full minute, then Steven handed Davies the newspaper he'd brought. "You heard, I take it."
"Yeah, I saw it on CNN. 'Mother of serial killer kills family, killer, then self' Davies read, then looked up. "Chilling courtroom drama," he said dryly. "Sorry I missed it."
"Nora hid the needle in her lipstick. She apparently went to the ladies' room just before the arraignment and assembled the syringe. Then when the judge banged his gavel, she jumped up, hysterical. Hugging Josh. Then ten seconds later Josh hit the deck and everybody scrambled. She'd stabbed the needle in his heart and hit the plunger. The ME said there was enough tranq in that syringe to take down an elephant." He sighed. "The bailiff was trying to make Josh stand up-he didn't realize he was dead already. Nora grabs his gun. Eats it. The end."