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I recognized her, of course. "Fetch," I said, though for some reason it was hard to twist my lips around the word.
She smiled, putting Torch's reins into my hand. As soon as the reins left her hands, Torch's ears flattened and his eyes rolled so that I could see the whites. He pranced until I stood between her and him, but he was too well-trained to pull against the bit, though he shook with fear.
"I waited for this," she said, sliding the hand that had held the reins to my cheek. She stepped nearer and pressed her body against mine, her mouth to my mouth, kissing me wetly. "Waited to find you tired and alone." She whispered it in a lover's voice against my lips.
I stood stiffly in her embrace. "Oh, sister," I said, fear tightening my spine. Belief and fear were her weapons: fear of death and pain. "You mischose your time." And I took her with the knowledge I had gained this night. I stole her essence and locked it with the gates of my mind. It was easy because I feared myself far more than I did her.
I was becoming a bloodmage. I'd come to understand it wasn't just the deaths that made bloodmagic so foul, but taking without repayment or consent.
I gave her the same direction that I'd given the other spirits this night, and she replied, "I am with you." Then she faded into nothing.
I mounted Torch and he caught my fear, dancing and snorting until I thought I'd never get him headed home. I could hold nothing more. The meeting with the fetch left me shaking in spasms close to sobs. I was so powerful that I didn't even need to fear a creature such as she.
What I held imprisoned in my mind tainted me until I wanted to wash in the waters of the river, though I knew I would never be clean again—because I wanted the power I held, wanted to roll in it and throw it into the faces of those who'd killed Touched Banar. Here, I wanted to say, here is what you should fear, not the poor god-stricken man whose worst deed was less than a dust mote to my mountain.
The trapped spirits moaned, but the fetch laughed with my laughter while tears slid down my face.
Torch was swaying with weariness when I brought him back to the stables in the dark. I wasn't any better. The spirits under my control wailed and shrieked pleadingly until I wanted to scream at them to be quiet.
Instead, I curried and rubbed Torch until he was clean and dry. I led him to his stall and grained him. I sat down on a bench and leaned against Duck's stall. Daryn's red gelding blew gently in my hair before wandering back to the shadows of his straw-filled box.
Though I fought against sleep, fearing the trapped creatures would escape, my eyes closed…
… ru
Careful not to go too fast and get ahead; they might give up…
Intense red-hot agony as an arrow took Caefawn in the knee. His fall twisted the arrow inside the wound, which popped and cracked heartrendingly.
Daryn sat on Ducks back, shaking his head.
"You should have told me your nature before I married you. I would have known then that you would be the death of me, for that is the nature of all your breed."
I tried to talk, to explain that it was not my fault, but somehow the mounted figure turned into Poul cradling a wrapped infant in his arms.
"My son," he said proudly, dismounting and walking closer so that I could see what he held.
When I reached out to open the blankets, there was nothing but the tiny skeleton I'd last seen in Auberg.
Ani came from behind me, pushing me away. "Let me tend the child now, you'll make him cry."
I tried to explain that there was only a skeleton inside the blankets. But before I could finish, she turned back to me. The flesh peeled away from her face.
Poul cried out in horror and ran from her, leaving me alone with his dead wife. My sister.
"It's fine, dear," she said calmly, patting the blanketed baby that rattled every time she touched it. "I'm dead, too. Eaten by the pikka."
Rain began to pour down, slicking my hair to my head.
"Here," said Caefawn, his left leg scarlet with blood from knee to boot. "He won't cry if I hold him."
The arrow was still there in his knee, and it wiggled when he walked.
"Let me get that out for you," I said, kneeling in front of him.
"No!"
But I had already taken hold of the arrow and pulled it out. Lifeblood pooled on the floor and wouldn't stop, no matter how frantically I tried to seal the wound with Caulem's green tunic.
Caefawn reached down and touched my face. "Be at peace. Never you mind, sweetheart. Just remember my name is Neklevar; it means "light in the darkness." Someone should remember the name of the last hob."
"What does Caefawn mean?" I asked, hands wet with his blood. I took one red finger and traced it down my cheek, drawing one of the runes Wandel and I had found carved into a rock on Hob's Mountain.
He touched the rune gently, then his hand fell strengthless to his side. "A caefawn is a trader who tricks people out of their money. He sells a pot for a copper, but when you take it home, it turns into a feather and flies away."
Caefawn turned into a falcon and took flight, spraying me with blood. I followed him, ru
He leaned down toward me and said, "What are you doing here?"
I knelt before him, covered in the hob's blood, and lifted my hands. Blood pooled in my cupped palms and dripped to the ground.
"I see you've been busy, speaker," said the earth spirit, leaning nearer. "Look at what you've become."
I cried, for he said what I already knew. The tears turned to rain and thunder, and I became a pikka, feeding on the bodies of my dead.
I awoke in the early dawn with the taste of fresh blood in my mouth, and threw up on the ground. Shaking, I opened Duck's stall and took a mouthful of water from the bucket suspended on a hook near his manger. The wailing in my mind continued unabated.
Luckily I hadn't fouled my clothes. Ignoring the noise in my head, I used a forkload of hay to clean up the mess I'd left. I was just finishing when Kith walked through the door.
"If you'd asked, I'd have loaned you Torch," he said.
My mind was too busy to allow for clever replies, so I just nodded and leaned against the wall. I must have looked really bad, because he walked up to me and put his hand on my face.
"Not sick," I said, "just tired." My face felt stiff, and my mouth felt cold and slow. I wanted to bathe the stink from my soul.
"Rescuing Poul from a… what was that word? Pikka?"
I nodded, regretting it almost immediately. The movement brought a rush of pain to join the shouting.
"Merewich swears it's a wolverine, though he's never seen one with curly, black fur."
I grunted this time; it was safer than moving my head.
"Where were you going in such a hurry that it couldn't wait for the rain to let up?" He stepped close to me, touching my collarbone with his hand, staring into my eyes. I wondered if my pupils were pinpoints like the fetch's. "Aren, what's wrong?"
I don't know what I would have told him, but just then the alarm bell rang. Kith hesitated, then turned on his heel and ran.
I could just manage to walk, if I did it slowly. I set the pitchfork aside and picked up the cedar staff from where it had fallen on the ground while I slept. One end was black with dried blood.