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Monk should say something. It was his responsibility.
He stood up, smiling at Mrs. Ha
"How do you do, Mrs. Ha
Mrs. Ha
"I rind him most helpful for clarifying the mind," he went on, as if she had been charming.
It was long enough to give Gabriel time to take command of himself again.
"Good morning, Mrs. Ha
"It was…" She had been about to say "duty" and thought better of it. She tried to look at him normally and failed. Her gaze fixed rigidly on his eyes as if she were afraid it would slide off to his disfigured flesh or his absent arm. "It was something I always intended," she finished lamely. "I have just been… er…"
"Of course," He struggled to help her, hideously conscious of her revulsion. "We were all terribly grieved to hear of Major Ha
"Yes…" She still had no idea what to say to him. If she had had it all clear in her mind before she came, the reality of his injuries had scattered it from her. "It must have been dreadful for you. My husband…" She swallowed and gulped. "My husband always mentioned you with great regard." It sounded appallingly formal, as if she were a senior officer's wife making a duty call with no idea and no feeling for the events or emotions of which she spoke. She was floundering, and they all knew it.
Where was Hester? She would know how to say something which could bring them back to honesty. Monk looked over Mrs. Ha
He nodded, tightening his lips. Why was she letting this go on? It was agonizing!
"He would," Gabriel replied, still holding Mrs. Ha
"I think you are-are mistaken. You must have him confused with someone else." She made herself smile in return, remembering he was wounded. Perhaps his mind was affected. Yes, that would explain everything. The thoughts were as transparent on her face as if she had spoken them aloud.
Monk glanced at Hester. Still she remained silent.
Perdita moved forward, her hands clutched in front of her, her voice trembling.
"I take it you did not care for India, Mrs. Harming. I am so sorry. That must make your loss doubly hard. I was unable to go, but I always thought I should find it fascinating. Gabriel wrote such marvelous letters, and I have been reading a book lately about its history. Of course, most of what I know is after the British arrived there, but a little about before that too. I should have done it a long time ago…" She smiled at Mrs. Ha
Mrs. Ha
Perdita knew what she had done, but she was too defensive certainly to retreat.
"Since I didn't go out with him, it is the least I can do now." She smiled, tilting her chin up a fraction.
"Naturally, if you feel it your duty." Mrs. Ha
"It is not duty," Perdita corrected her. "It is my pleasure, and naturally it is distressing, of course, because of all the suffering and the wrongs, the injustices-"
"You mean the barbarity of the Indians-the disloyalty!" Mrs. Ha
"No, I meant the injustices we committed towards them," Perdita corrected. "I don't think it is wrong to defend your country. I should want to defend England if Indian armies came here and tried to make us part of their empire."
Mrs. Ha
"I think if you read the accounts of some of our conquests, you will find that we are barbarous as well." Perdita was insistent. "We were just rather better at it."
"You are very young," Mrs. Ha
"Thank you," Perdita replied. "I am sure you mean well, and it is very kind of you to have come, but I want to learn about India so that if Gabriel wishes to talk to me I can listen with intelligence."
"I think you will find that sweetness of nature is what is required, not intelligence," Mrs. Ha
Monk looked across at Hester. Her eyes were bright with satisfaction. She cared fiercely for Perdita and Gabriel, and their victory was hers. He had not appreciated before how much feeling she invested in her patients, how much emotion filled her. He felt at once thrilled by it and full of admiration for her; he also sensed a kind of envy because it was something wholehearted and generous. There was a warmth in it which was not in his feeling for his clients. He kept a reserve, a coolness, even sometimes an anger. He recognized this difference, a side of Hester which had almost certainly been there always but that he had not seen. He had not wanted to. It was more comfortable to criticize her arbitrariness, her autocratic ways, her too forcibly expressed opinions, her generally awkward ma
All of which were still there.
This new mixture of emotions was disturbing, and yet too sweet to let go of just yet. It was an astonishing gentleness under the prickling exterior.
Mrs. Harming had paid her duty visit. It had not been a success. She was preparing to leave-or rather more accurately, to beat a strategic retreat.
Perdita thanked her again for coming and prepared to accompany her downstairs. She walked very straight with her head high and her hands clenched by her sides, betraying her tenseness.
Monk looked back at Gabriel. He was still sitting upright, his shoulders stiff, but there was the begi