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“She may love what she sees there, and want to go back for a visit, but I’ll be very surprised if she wants to live that far from you, for now anyway. And her sights are set on college, not on moving to the South, or discovering her roots. She should know about it, and I think it’s good for her to see. I always thought that, it’ll take care of any curiosity or magical beliefs she might have had about it. But Sava
“I wish I felt as sure.” Alexa was only slightly comforted by her mother’s words, although she made sense.
“Are you sure you’re worrying about Sava
“Yeah, maybe I am,” Alexa said honestly, trying to figure out what part of it she feared most. It was hard to say. “I was so happy there, I loved Tom so much, and his boys. I trusted him completely, and I thought we’d be together forever. And now all of that is gone, and someone else is married to him and living in that same house. It’s a little hard to take.” And she had hated him for it for years. He had stolen all her dreams, and destroyed all her trust. She had never been able to rebuild it since, with anyone. He had burned her to the ground. “I would have preferred never to go there again.”
“Sometimes we have to face the things that hurt us most. Maybe you won’t heal till you do. You haven’t yet.” They both knew that was true. “You can’t move ahead until you bury the past, and all that agony and hurt is still alive for you. Maybe this will do you good.” Alexa thought of it as the cab pulled up in front of the terminal, and she told her mother she had to go. But she knew that she was right. Her pain was still alive. None of it, nor the disappointment and feeling of betrayal, had dulled in the past ten years. If anything, it had gotten worse. She had no man in her life and didn’t want one, because she couldn’t forgive or forget the one who had hurt her most. Nor had she forgiven Tom’s mother, or his wife, who had urged him to betray her in every possible way. It had been a cabal against her, because she wasn’t one of them, hard as it was to believe now. It sounded crazy, but was true. Luisa had won by geography and tradition, and like Ashley in Gone with the Wind, Tom had been weak. She couldn’t forgive him for it even now. And ten years of not forgiving him had poisoned her, like a radioactive substance she had ingested years ago, still coursing through her veins. It burned her insides with a searing pain. She hadn’t wanted Sava
Alexa ran through security, and barely made her plane. She didn’t want to miss it and disappoint Sava
The drive to the city was familiar and brief. Her heart ached when she saw the bridges, and the church spires she had loved. One of those churches was where they had christened Sava
“You must be excited to see your mom,” Tom chatted easily on their way to the Wentworth Mansion. Alexa had remembered that it was the best hotel in town, and had originally been built as a home. It was still one of the city’s loveliest Victorian mansions, with every possible amenity and comfort, and gracious, beautifully appointed rooms, Tiffany glass ceilings, fine antiques, and a spa Alexa knew Sava
“Yes, I am excited to see her,” Sava
“I know you do,” Tom said, wishing he could fill the void somehow, but even if she enjoyed spending time with her father, it was too late for that. Thanks to him, he knew, they were acquaintances, not friends. He hoped to deepen their relationship while she was there, but contrary to her mother’s fears, three months wasn’t long. And surely not long enough to make up for ten years.
Tom followed Sava
“Well, you two look mighty happy to see each other,” he said, smiling at them both. None of his sadness showed. He appeared happy for them, and in fact was jealous of what they shared. Everything about them was pure gold. Alexa immediately stiffened when she saw him. She had forgotten he was there, and so had Sava
“She’s been really looking forward to this,” Tom said gently to Alexa, not knowing what else to say. Everything about her was slammed tightly closed except when she looked at her daughter and her entire being relaxed and softened. Like night and day.