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He kept his gaze level while heart and head warred. He wanted to tell her about Evan, about everything, just spill it. Take comfort in her arms, and talk it over together. Maybe she’d help him find his joker.
Or maybe she’d decide it was time to fold the hand. She’d made only one ultimatum in their whole relationship – if he took up the life again, she was gone for good.
“So,” she continued, “I’m going to try to be adult, and not hold it against Patrick.”
He felt dirty but kept his tone light. “I think he’d be happy if you’d just stop trying to set him up.”
“Okay. Though he really should meet Je
Despite everything – despite himself – he laughed.
She stood, walked to his side of the table, and slid onto his lap, one arm around his shoulders. Her face still bore faint red marks from the pillow, and the coffee barely covered her morning breath, but even so, she glowed. “I love you, babe.”
His heart swelled in a way that made it hard to speak, and he kissed her instead, held her to him, soft and warm. When she climbed off his lap and padded away, he watched her go, her bare feet dirty, a faint sway to her hips.
He waited until he heard the shower, then went to the phone on the counter and dialed. Some decks didn’t have a joker.
“Could I please speak to Sean Nolan?”
The diner was a storefront on West Belmont, tucked in among auto repair shops and warehouses. Across the street three-flats bore upscale real estate logos in anticipation of the day when Wicker Park and Lakeview were finally and irrefutably full, though now there were more signs than tenants. Inside, fluorescent lights shone brightly off the fake wood paneling and cash register. A bald cook, not fat but Chicago-big, worked the grill.
Nolan sat halfway down the chipped counter, peering suspiciously at a laminated menu and twisting his wedding ring. He wore his brown suit too well to have a bulletproof vest beneath.
“Hello, Sean.”
“Da
“Long time.”
“Ten years? Since you picked Marty Frisk up outta holding for that D-and-D.”
Da
“Yeah?”
“You didn’t see me. You were coming out of a 7-Eleven in the Loop.”
“Why didn’t you say hello?”
Because he was too freshly clean. Because his new life hadn’t taken hold. Because he was afraid Sean’s gaze would cut him to ribbons, would confirm he was just a thief with an upscale address.
“I hollered. You must not’ve heard.”
The cop grunted. Da
Was he crazy, sitting down with Nolan – Detective Nolan – to solve a problem? All his street responses told him yes.
On the other hand, look where his street responses had gotten him.
The cook came over, coffeepot in one hand, spatula in the other. Da
“I heard you got married.”
“Yeah,” Nolan said. “Two kids, a boy and a girl.”
“Still in the neighborhood?”
“My folks moved to Beverly ten years ago, and Mary-Louise and I followed when we had Tracy. It’s nice. No gangs, everybody shows up to cheer the St. Patty’s parade. Sundays I smoke a cigar and water my lawn. You want to see pictures, or you going to tell me why I’m sitting here?”
Da
“So I hear.”
“I work in construction, as a project manager. I’ve got a place in Lakeview, second floor in a graystone. Nothing fancy, but it’s mine, you know?”
Nolan nodded slightly, betraying nothing.
“It’s nice to have made a place for myself. Something…” He hesitated, old habits making him nervous admitting anything. “Legitimate.”
The cook set their order in front of them on white plastic plates, then snapped the grease off the spatula, set it down, and walked to the end of the counter. Nolan forked egg onto his toast, took a bite. His cool refusal to get involved irked Da
“I thought cops liked doughnuts.” Trying to engage the guy, not piss him off, his tone playful.
“I thought criminals stayed criminals.”
Da
Nolan gave him a slow, appraising look. “Maybe.”
The coffee may not have been much to brag about, but the BLT was delicious. Da
“How’s that?”
“Little ways. Knowing how to bargain, negotiate. Being able to plan. Mostly, though, to be good at either, you had to know when to take risks.”
“That’s what you’re doing here? Taking a risk?”
Da
“Because I’m the police.” Pronouncing it “poh-lease.”
“Yeah.”
“So you’re not clean.”
“Oh, I’m hundred-proof. Go to work, pay my taxes. I’m a civilian.”
Nolan shrugged. “So why buy me breakfast? Just to tell me that?”
Da
The other man took another forkful of eggs, content to wait him out.
You came to dance, kid. “Someone is harassing me. Following me around. My girlfriend, Karen, I think he’s watching her, too. Friday, he broke into our apartment.”
That got the detective’s attention. “He steal anything?”
“No. He was waiting for me.”
Nolan’s eyes narrowed. “Waiting to do what?”
“To talk. To threaten us.”
“So this is somebody you know.”
Da
“You file a report?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why?”
“Because…” Da
“Why do you think you’ll get more here?”
It was a question Da
It was a thin rationale to pin his hopes on, and he knew it. But it was Nolan or nobody. What was he going to do, call 911? He didn’t have anything to tell them, not really, and he knew police procedure well enough to know he didn’t want the attention. Karen knew about his past, sure, and Patrick, but as far as the rest of the world was concerned, Da
And that was assuming things went well. He could suffer much worse than damage to his reputation. If Evan dimed him out on the pawnshop, he’d face charges. Lose his job, his freedom, maybe even Karen. Set himself back seven years – more, when you counted however long he spent in jail.
Which made this discussion even more delicate. Da