The Penultimate Peril

"We'd best get away from here," Count Olaf said, breaking the silence. "In my experience, once the flames reach the chemicals, the fire will spread very quickly. I'm afraid the cocktail party will be canceled, but if we hurry, there's still time to infect the guests of his hotel with the Medusoid Mycelium before we escape. Ha! To the elevators!"

Twirling the harpoon gun in his hands, the villain strode down the hallway, dragging the judge as he went, and the Baudelaires hurried to follow. When they reached the elevator, the children looked at a sign posted near one of the ornamental vases. The sign was identical to one posted in the lobby, and it is a sign you have probably seen yourself. in case of fire, it said, in fancy script, use stairs. do not use elevator.

"Stairs," Su

"Dangerous," Su

"You may have had the idea to burn down the hotel," Count Olaf said, "but I'm still the boss, baby! We won't get to the fungus in time if we take the stairs! We're taking the elevator!"

"Drat," Su

"Preludio," she said, and after a moment her siblings gri

"What?'" Olaf asked sharply, and punched the button over and over again, which never helps.

"What my sister means," Violet said, "is that she appreciates the lesson on setting fires," but that is not what the youngest Baudelaire meant at all. By "Preludio," her siblings knew, Su

"What are you doing?" Olaf shrieked. "I'll never reach the Medusoid Mycelium in time to poison everyone!"

"We'll be able to warn as many people as possible that the building is on fire!" cried Justice Strauss.

"Dual purpose," Su

"Fire!" cried Violet immediately knowing the doors would slide shut in an instant. "Attention everyone! There's a fire in the hotel! Please leave at once!"

The man with a beard but no hair was standing nearby, with his hand on Jerome Squalor's shoulder so he could push the injustice expert around. "Fire?" he said, in his strange, hoarse voice. "Good work, Olaf!"

"What do you mean, good work?" demanded Jerome, a frown appearing below his blindfold.

"I meant to say, 'there's Olaf!'" the man said hurriedly, pushing Jerome in the direction of the elevator. "Capture him! He needs to be brought to the authorities!"

"Olaf is here?" asked probably Frank, who was feeling his way along the wall along with his brother. "I'm going to capture him!"

"Where are the Baudelaires?" demanded probably Ernest. "I'm going to capture them!"

"In the elevator!" shouted the woman with hair but no beard from across the lobby, but the sliding doors were already closing.

"Call the fire department!" Violet cried desperately.

"Which one?" was the reply, but the children could not tell if it came from Frank or Ernest, and the doors slid shut on this one last glimpse of the villains and volunteers before elevator began its rise to the second story.

"Those judges promised that if I waited until tomorrow I'd see all my enemies destroyed," Count Olaf grumbled, "and now they're trying to capture me. I knew they'd fail me some day."

The Baudelaires did not have time to point out that Olaf had also failed the judges, by pla

"There's a fire in the hotel!" Klaus called into the hallway. "Everyone leave at once!"

"A fire?" said Esme Squalor. The Baudelaires were surprised to see that this treacherous woman was still wearing her blindfold, but perhaps she had decided that pieces of black cloth were in. "Who said that?"

"It's Klaus Baudelaire," Klaus Baudelaire said. "You need to get out of the hotel!"

"Don't listen to that cakesniffer!" cried Carmelita Spats, who was ru

"Don't take off your blindfolds!" cried Count Olaf. "Those Baudelaires are guilty of contempt of court, and they're trying to trick you into joining them! There's no fire! Whatever you do, don't leave the hotel!"

"We're not tricking you!" Klaus said. "Olaf is tricking you! Please believe us!"

"I don't know who to believe," Esme said scornfully "You orphans are as dishonest as my ex-boyfriend."

"Leave us alone!" Carmelita ordered, bumping into a wall. "We can find our own way!"

The doors slid shut before the Baudelaires could argue any further, and indeed the children never argued with either unpleasant female again. In a moment, the elevator arrived at the third story, and Su

"Fire!" she cried. "Use stairs. Do not use elevator!"

"Su