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"I have news from J. S.," either Frank or Ernest was whispering to Hal. Both men were standing with their backs to Su
"J. S.?" Hal said. "She's here?"
"She's here to help," the manager corrected. "She's been using her Vision Furthering Device to watch the skies, and I'm afraid she reports that we will all be eating crow."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Hal said. "Crow is a tough bird to cook, because the meat is very muscular from all the carrying that crows do."
Su
"It is a shame," agreed either Frank or Ernest. "If only there was something that could make the dish a little sweeter. I've heard that certain mushrooms are available."
"Sugar would be better than mushrooms," Hal said unfathomably.
"According to our calculations, the sugar will be laundered sometime after nightfall," replied the manager, equally unfathomably.
"I'm glad," Hal said. "My job's been difficult enough. Do you know how many leaves of lettuce I've had to send up to the roof?"
Frank or Ernest frowned. "Tell me," he said, in an even more quiet tone of voice. "Are you who I think you are?"
"Are you who / think you are?" replied Hal, equally quietly.
Su
"Are you who I think you are?" said the two men in unison.
One of the advantages of being taciturn is that it is rare for your words to get you into trouble. A taciturn writer, for instance, might produce only one short poem every ten years, which is unlikely to a
"Concierge," she said, and that was enough. Hal looked at Frank, or perhaps it was Ernest, and Ernest, or perhaps it was Frank, looked back at Hal. The two men nodded, and then crossed to a shiny cabinet at the far end of the kitchen. Hal opened the cabinet and handed a large, strange object to either Frank or Ernest, who looked it over and handed it to Su
"Do you know what this is?" asked the villain or volunteer.
"Yes," the youngest Baudelaire said. Su
"Be very careful with it," said either Frank or Ernest. "When you place this device on the knob of an ordinary door, and press the letters V, F, and D, it will become a Vernacularly Fastened Door. I want you to take the elevator to the basement, and vernacularly fasten Room 025."
"That's the laundry room, you know," said Hal, squinting at Su
"But if something were to fall from the sky at just the right angle," said Frank or Ernest, "it might fall down the fu
Su
"I'm grateful for your assistance, concierge," Frank said, or maybe it was Ernest, or maybe the man answering was neither brother. "Not many people have the courage to help with a scheme like this."
Su
The clock in the lobby of the Hotel Denouement is the stuff of legend, a phrase which here means "very famous for being very loud." It is located in the very center of the ceiling, at the very top of the dome, and when the clock a
As she walked through the sliding doors of the elevator and down the basement hallway, past the ornamental vases and numbered doors, Su