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Bodies piled on top of him. Shouting. His hands were pi
All Co
26
Co
The bartender, security guard, and busboy who’d gang-piled him had been persuaded not to call the police by a fistful of Professor Dan’s money. It wasn’t out of kindness. Dan didn’t want to be taken downtown for disturbing the peace and destruction of property. He’d given Co
Tyra
Co
Adding insult to injury was the Captain Kirk costume.
Co
Randy entered the lounge, sat at the table with Co
“It’s too late,” Co
“Just trying to cheer you up.”
“In case you haven’t noticed,” Co
Randy looked away, drummed his fingers on the table. Finally, he said, “Let me tell you your problem, Co
“I can’t wait.”
“Your problem is that you fail to comprehend some universal truths. Truths that are so true they’re cliché but true nonetheless.”
“Is this going to take long?”
“If you want a ride back to Pensacola, shut up and listen.”
Co
“Here are a few examples,” Randy said. “What goes around comes around. The pot calling the kettle black. Takes one to know one.”
“You forgot Be Kind Rewind.”
Randy went on like Co
Co
“Here’s another thing,” Randy said. “I fell in love with Tyra
Co
“She’s one of those people with a magic light around her. And she doesn’t treat me like a comic-book geek. You’re lucky to even know her. But you’re not grateful. You think you’ve been slighted. You think you’ve been robbed. You’re one of the lucky ones, and you don’t even know it because you’re so good at being a sarcastic, miserable bastard.”
Randy stood. “By the way, I arranged for Jerry to come out and talk to you on his di
Co
In the hotel restaurant, Jerry ordered a cheeseburger (hold the lettuce, pickle, onion, or anything resembling a vegetable), a double order of fries, and a Dr Pepper. Co
Jerry was tall, skeletal thin, hunched over, blond hair thi
Co
Jerry belched, shoved fries into his cheek like he was a chipmunk storing up for winter. “You wanted to know about Teddy Folger’s Joe DiMaggio card.”
“Please.”
“You’re lucky I’m talking to you,” Jerry said. “I’m an expert. I know everything there is about baseball collectibles. I have special knowledge. Don’t people with special knowledge get a consulting fee or something?”
“I’m paying for your cheeseburger.”
Jerry shrugged. “Well, you’re a pal of Randy’s, so I’ll help you out. What do you want to know?”
“All I know is that it’s an autographed card,” Co
“Was. It got destroyed in a fire, so if you were thinking about buying it, you’re out of luck.”
“I’m just curious why it’s worth twenty thousand dollars.”
Jerry scoffed, looked at Co
Co
“Well, that’s your dumb luck, isn’t it?” Jerry gulped Dr Pepper, burped again. “If you’d archived them properly, they might be worth something now. Like I said, a hundred thousand is just the insured amount. Any collectible is really only worth what somebody is willing to pay.”
“But…” Co
Jerry barked laughter, bits of half-chewed french fry flying halfway across the table. “Jesus, no offense, but that’s a dumb thing to say. You don’t know how this works at all, do you?”
“Maybe you’ll explain it to me.” Asshole.
“Rarity is always a consideration with something like this. If there’s a million of something, then they won’t be worth so much. One of a kind, worth more. It’s just common sense.”
Co
“It’s not just the DiMaggio autograph. Lots of those around,” Jerry said. “It’s the other signatures that make it worth so much.”
“What other signatures?”
Jerry rolled his eyes. If he was about to call Co
Co
Co