Fresh Disasters

Carmine Dattila gazed up at Stone through small eyes under bushy eyebrows. He reached into his shirt pocket, produced a stopwatch, punched it and laid it on the table. “You got thirty seconds,” he said.

“Oh, I won’t need that long.” Stone reached inside the envelope in his hand, drew out the summons and handed it to Dattila. “You’ve been served.” He turned to go.

“And how is this supposed to save me money?” Dattila asked, looking baffled.

“It could save you a lot, if you settle, instead of going to trial.” He laid his business card on the table. “Have your attorney get in touch with me, and we’ll talk.” He turned and headed for the door, careful not to walk too quickly.

He heard heavy footsteps behind him and before he could turn, somebody spun him around, and a fist crashed into his jaw. Stone flew backward through the plate-glass door onto the sidewalk. As if in sympathy, the cracked front window shattered, too.

The man threw the summons at Stone, then stepped through the shattered door, ready to aim a kick.

Suddenly, Dino was standing over Stone, a badge in his hand. “Police!” he said. “Back off.” The man grudgingly took a step backward, and Dino helped Stone to his feet. “You okay?” he asked quietly.

“Fine,” Stone said, though he felt dizzy from the punch and the fall to the pavement. He bent over, picked up the summons and threw it into his assailant’s face. “Tell Mr. Dattila he’s been served, and the service was duly witnessed by Lieutenant Bacchetti of the NYPD. Also tell him I’ll see him in court.” He turned and began walking toward the car.

“I’m wearing a vest,” Dino said. “Are you?”

“Nope,” Stone said, straightening his tie. He got into the car, while Dino walked around to the driver’s side.

Dino put the car in gear. “Here they come,” he said.

Stone glanced over his shoulder and saw men spilling out of the La Boheme coffeehouse.

“Dino,” Stone said, brushing broken glass off his jacket, “now would be a good time for you to drive the way you usually drive.”

Dino stood on it.

7

Stone dropped Dino at the 19th Precinct. “Elaine’s, later?”

“Sure,” Dino said.

Stone drove home, put the car in the garage and went into his office. He sat down at his desk, and Joan came in. “Uh-oh,” she said, then disappeared toward the kitchen. She came back with some ice cubes wrapped in a dish towel and pressed it against his jaw.

“I’m glad you’re alive, but I guess you didn’t exactly come away unscathed.”

“You could say that,” Stone said, taking the ice pack from her and holding it to his face.

“The swelling is conspicuous,” she said.

“I noticed.”

“I guess the other guy is pretty messed up, huh?”

“Not a mark on him,” Stone replied, “but their front door is in many pieces.”

“You busted their front door?”

“In a ma

“Did Mr. Dattila get served?”

“He did.”

“You think he’ll respond?”

“Probably not, but then I’ll get a summary judgment, and I’ll take his fucking coffeehouse.”

“Good luck on that,” Joan said. “I take it Eggers is expecting some ink from this episode?”

“Apparently.”

“Maybe I’d better do something about that.”

“Do what?”

“I know somebody who knows somebody on Page Six at the Post.” Page Six wasn’t on page six; it was just the name of the biggest gossip column in town.

“I’m not sure how Eggers would respond to having Woodman and Weld on Page Six.”

“Well, we’re not going to get it in the Wall Street Journal,” Joan said.

“You have a point. Go ahead and speak to your friend; Page Six is what Eggers deserves.” He worked his jaw back and forth; it was sore.

The phone rang, and Joan picked it up. “The Barrington Practice. Yes, he’s right here.” She handed Stone the phone. “A client.” She walked back toward her office.

“Stone Barrington.”

“Hi, it’s Herbert Q. Fisher.”

Stone couldn’t suppress a groan.

“I hear you’re having trouble getting Dattila served.”

“Where did you hear that?” Stone demanded, a

“I got my sources.”

“Well, Mr. Dattila was duly served an hour ago.”

“You think he’ll respond?”

“I’m not clairvoyant, Herbie; we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“If he doesn’t, we’ll take everything he’s got.”

“Herbie, it was tough enough serving Dattila; think how hard it would be to take property from him, under any circumstances.”

“But we’d have the power of the court on our side.”

“So far in Mr. Dattila’s life experience, the courts haven’t laid a glove on him. Now go away, Herbie; I’ve got work to do.”

“I’ll check with you tomorrow.”

“Don’t bother; I’ll call you when Dattila sends us a check.” He hung up and buzzed Joan.

“Yes?”

“I’m sort of sore and tired; I’m going to go upstairs and take a nap.”

“But you never take naps.”

“Today is the exception.” He hung up and walked to the elevator. He didn’t feel like climbing stairs.

Stone woke up in his darkened bedroom and looked at the bedside clock: nearly eight. He rolled out of bed and into a shower.

At eight-thirty he walked into Elaine’s, feeling somewhat more human. The Knob Creek was on the table as soon as he sat down.

“You’re looking a little rough,” Frank, one of the two headwaiters, said. “What happened to your face?”

“I bumped into something.”

“It’s turning a fu

“It is?” Stone got up, went into the men’s room and checked the mirror. It was, indeed, turning a fu

“I don’t know how you drink that bourbon stuff,” he said, making a face.

“It’s the patriotic thing to do,” Stone explained, “instead of drinking that foreign gunk you’re so partial to. Bourbon is our only national whiskey these days. Do you know why it’s called Knob Creek?”

“I give up.”

“Knob Creek is the birthplace and boyhood home of Abraham Lincoln. You see how patriotic that is?”

“How do you know this stuff?”

“I am a student of American history. Also, it’s on a little tag that comes with the bottle.”

“Your face is turning blue,” Dino said.

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Maybe you ought to get it X-rayed.”

“It’s not broken, just bruised.”

“That was a pretty big guy who hit you.”

“Yeah, but look what I did to his door.”

“Well, you really cleaned that door’s clock, but I still think you ought to get your face X-rayed.”

“Dino, when I start relying on you for medical advice, I’ll already be dead.”

“And I’ll be there to say I told you so.”

“I know, I know.” Stone flexed his neck and shoulders.

“What’s the matter?”

“I’m sore from hitting the pavement,” Stone said. “I think I need a massage; you know a masseuse?”

“Well, I heard about this place down on First Avenue.”

“Not that kind of masseuse.”

“I’ll check my Rolodex when I get back to my desk.”

“Thanks, pal.” Stone looked up to see a very beautiful woman enter the restaurant. Frank caught his eye and laughed. A moment later, he seated the woman at the table next to Stone’s.

“Good evening,” she said as she sat down.

“Good evening,” Stone responded. He turned back to his bourbon, again flexing his shoulders and neck.

“You look a little stiff,” the woman said. “You should have a massage.”

“You know, I was just telling my friend here that very thing when you walked in.”

She opened her purse and produced a card, handing it to him. It read:

MARILYN

MASSAGE IN YOUR HOME OR OFFICE

Stone smiled. “This is providential. If you’re alone, would you like to join us?”