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“And you believed him?” Fitz shook his head. “The closest he’s ever gotten to medical science was when he bought a box of Band-Aids. He faints at the sight of blood. And when he has to get a shot-”
“That’s about enough of that,” Co
“Ten?” Fitz raised his eyebrows. “To get ready? Normally only takes you two.”
Co
Twelve minutes later, Co
“Wow,” Fitz said with admiration. He let out a slow whistle. “I’m impressed.”
“You should be.” Co
Fitz pulled a face. “Yeah, right.”
“Okay, it took me two precious minutes to find this stuff. Happy now?”
“I heard you got called to the woodshed last night. I see they made an impression.”
“Yeah,” Co
“You left them on the driving range last night, you nincompoop.”
Co
“I’ll bet.” Fitz offered his best disapproving look. “Don’t worry. I always check on your clubs before I turn in at night. When I saw they weren’t in the locker, I started looking around. I know you like to drive the night before a tournament, so they weren’t hard to track down. Once again, I pulled your butt out of the frying pan.”
Co
Fitz grimaced. “Believe me, kid-seven percent of your wi
Co
Co
“Pardon me, boys,” Co
The officials didn’t move. They looked distinctly uncomfortable.
“They don’t move till I say so.”
Co
“I told you last night. You don’t play unless I say so. These officials have been instructed that you are not to approach the first tee until you are authorized to do so. By me.”
“Derwood, you are experiencing serious delusions of grandeur. A Napoleonic complex. But you have nothing in common with Napoleon, except of course your height.”
Derwood’s teeth clenched together. “Laugh all you want, clown boy. But you don’t play till you pass my inspection.”
“Fine. Inspect away, Little Corporal.”
Derwood did a slow circle around Co
The officials appeared keenly relieved.
Before he moved away, Derwood pressed close to Co
Co
Gasps sounded in the spectators’ gallery.
Derwood’s eyes went wide. “He’s shaved his head!”
Indeed he had. Not only buzzed it to the scalp, but created a discernable zigzag pattern across the back, sort of like an Iroquois on speed.
“That is not acceptable!” Derwood shouted. “Someone stop him-”
Too late. Co
Derwood threw his hat down and stomped on it. “You won’t get away with this!” he shouted. “You haven’t heard the last of me.” But in fact, Co
Safely ensconced on the third tee, Co
Fitz shook his head. “He drew an earlier tee time. Problem is, he didn’t show up.”
“Didn’t show up? That’s not like John.” He paused. “Come to think of it, he never showed up last night.”
“I searched all over the grounds. Couldn’t find him. Even checked his cabin. His wife said she hadn’t seen him since last night.”
“You mean he didn’t come back to the cabin last night? John? That doesn’t make any sense. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Like when? During that languorous stretch between when you got out of bed with your coed and when you appeared at the first tee?”
“Well, sometime.”; Co
“There’s nothing you can do about it now.”
“Yeah, but still-”
“Concentrate on your game. We’ll find John later.”
Co
“Are you joking? That hole is four hundred and fifty yards away. Plus there’s a water trap. Plus the dogleg left.”
“I like the nine-iron. It’s my best club.”
“You’re making a mistake-”
“Fitz. I’ve made my decision. Pass me the club.”
“Your wish is my command, sire.” Fitz passed the requested club.
Co
He turned to his caddie. “Fitz, how do I get to the green in one?”
“Practice.”
“But seriously.”
“You don’t. Especially with a nine-iron. Lay up.”
Co
“Co
Co
The golf ball flew into the air, taking a tremendous lift and forming a beautiful line right down the center of the fairway… then took a sudden veer to the right, crashing to earth deep in the rough.
“Damn!” Co
“You swung,” Fitz answered.
The two men tracked down the ball, killing a good ten minutes of course time.
“I could still make the green in two,” Co
“With the nine-iron?”
“It’s my best club.”
“That’s what you said-”
Before Fitz could finish his commentary, Co
“A fatal slice,” Fitz commented, under his breath. “Fatal for you.”