The Clinic

“That's what you pay me for.”

He laughed, then turned serious. “So obviously Hope ruffled someone's feathers with this committee. And speaking of ruffling, I've got a number for the assistant producer of the Mayhew show. Want to follow through for me so I can concentrate on persecuting academics?”

“Sure,” I said.

“Suzette Band,” he said, reading off a Hollywood exchange. “She probably won't call back without a hassle, so feel free to be extremely a

It took five times to reach Suzette Band, but when she finally came on her voice was pleasant and amused.

“The police? One Adam Twelve, One Adam Twelve?”

Committing felony impersonation of a police officer seemed easier than explaining my precise role, so I said, “Do you remember a guest you had on last year, Professor Hope Devane?”

“Oh… yes, of course, that was terrible. Has her murderer been caught?”

“No.”

“Well, please tell us when he is. We'd love to do a follow-up. I'm serious.”

Bet you are.

“I'll do my best, Ms. Band. In the meantime, maybe you can help us. There was another guest on with Professor Devane, a man named Karl Neese-”

“What about him?”

“We'd like to speak to him.”

“Why- oh, no, you can't be serious.” She laughed. “That's a scream. No, I can see why you'd- but don't waste your time with Karl.”

“Why not?”

Long pause.

“Is this on tape or something?”

“No.”

Silence.

“Ms. Band?”

“You're sure this isn't being taped?”

“Positive. What's the problem?”

“Well… the person you really want to speak to is Eileen Pietsch, the producer. But she's traveling. I'll have her office call you when-”

“Why waste time if Karl's someone we shouldn't worry about?”

“He really isn't. It's just that we… our show… Karl's a…”

“Professional guest?”

“I didn't say that.”

“Then why shouldn't we worry about him?”

“Listen- I shouldn't be talking to you at all but I don't want you making a big deal about this and getting the show bad exposure. Lord knows we've had plenty of that with all the bluenoses in Washington hunting for scapegoats. We feel we provide a bona fide public service.”

“And Karl was part of that?”

I heard a sigh on the other end.

“Okay,” I said. “So he was paid to come on and be the professor's foil.”

“I wouldn't put it that way.”

“But he's an actor, right? If I go through the SAG book or the agent rosters I can probably find him.”

“Look,” she said, louder. Then she sighed again. “Yes, he's an actor. But for all I know he really does hold those views.”

“Then why shouldn't I worry about him? Things got pretty nasty between him and Professor Devane.”

“But that was… boy, you don't let up… okay, to be perfectly honest, Karl is a pro. But he's a really nice guy. We've used him before and so have other shows. We bring guys like him on to spice things up. Especially with professors because those types can be dry. All the shows do it. Some of the others even salt the audience. We never do that.”

“So you're saying he wasn't really hostile toward Professor Devane.”

“Of course not, he's mellow. In fact I think we had him on our Nice Guy show a year ago- you know, finishing last and all that. He's quite good. Adaptable. One of those faces you forget.”

“So no one remembers they've seen him before?”

“We stick a beard on them, or a wig. People aren't that observant, anyway.”

“I'd still like to speak to him. Do you have a number handy?”

Another pause. “Tell you what, I'll make you a deal.”

“Do I get to choose between the money and what's behind Curtain Number Three?”

“Very fu

I pretended to deliberate. “Okay.”

“Excellent- hey, maybe you can come on, too. Ace detective and all that. Do you photograph well?”

“Camera lights turn my eyes red but my fangs stay white.”

“Ha ha, very fu

“Like professors.”

“Like professors. Most people are wooden without help. Or some big story to tell.”

“I watched Professor Devane's tape,” I said. “She seemed pretty good.”

“You know, she was. Class act. Really knew how to work the audience. It's really terrible about what happened to her. She could have become a regular.”

Karl Neese's number was out in the Valley but his machine said to reach him at work if it was about a part. Bo Bancroft's Men's Fashions on Robertson Boulevard.

I looked up the address. Between Beverly and Third, right off Designer Row. At this hour, a twenty-minute drive.

The store was closet-sized, full of mirrors, weathered Brazilian antiques painted with roses and religious icons, and racks of three-thousand-dollar suits. Disco-remixed easy listening on the sound system, two people working, both in black: a blond girl with bored eyes behind the register and Neese folding cashmere sweaters.

Since the show, the actor had let his hair grow to his shoulders and raised a prickly beard. In person, he looked younger. Pale and hungry-looking. Very long, very white fingers.

I introduced myself and told him why I was there.

He finished folding and turned around slowly. “You're kidding.”

“Wish I was, Mr. Neese.”

“You know, right after it happened I wondered if someone would call me.”

“Why's that?”

“Because the show got nasty.”

“Nastier than it was supposed to get?”

“No, they paid me for nasty. “Go out and be an asshole.' ” He laughed. “How's that for artistic direction?”

“What else did they tell you?”

“They gave me her book, told me to read it so I'd know what she was about. Then come on like a schmuck, get on her case to the max. Not a bad gig, actually. Six months ago I was on Xavier! as an incestuous father with no remorse. Cheap beard and sunglasses and a shirt I wouldn't be caught dead in, but even with that I kept worrying some idiot would see me on the street and take a punch.”

“You do a lot of this?”

“Not as much as I'd like to. It pays five, six hundred a throw but there're only so many openings a year. Anyway, I'm not saying it's weird for you to come by, see if I'm the big bad wolf, but I'm not. The night she was killed I was doing di

He read off a 714 exchange, then said, “Too bad.”

“About what?”

“Her being killed. I didn't like her but she was sharp, really handled my bullshit beautifully. You'd be amazed how many can't cope, even when they know what's going down.”

“So she knew?”

“Of course. We never had a formal rehearsal but they did get us together before the show. In the greenroom. I told her I'd be coming on like Frankenstein with a militia card, she said fine.”

“So why didn't you like her?”

“Because she tried to psych me out. Right before we went on. Acted friendly to me when the producer was there, all through makeup. But the minute we were alone she sidled in close to me, talking in my ear- almost seductively. Telling me she'd met plenty of actors and every one of them was screwed up psychologically. “Uncomfortable with their identities' is the way she put it. “Playing roles to feel in control.' ” He chuckled. “Which is true, but who the hell wants to hear it?”

“Think she was trying to intimidate you?”

“She was definitely trying to intimidate me. And what was the point? It was all phony bullshit. Like TV wrestling. I was the bad guy, she was the good guy. We both knew she'd be tossing my ass on the mat. So why gild the lily?”